Lost Among The Stars
by freakess360
Summary: When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on an off-world mission, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppelganger".
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **Hello everyone! It's so good to be writing again. I started this project as a challenge to myself to write something that I have never attempted before -** _ **slash fiction**_ **. It is an interesting experiment for me. I decided that I needed a solid set of characters, but one's that are fluid enough, that I can use to establish a romance. As such, I choose two of my favorite characters from** Stargate: Atlantis **\- Colonel John Sheppard and Major Evan Lorne.**

 **Anyway… I really don't want to give away too much so I'm just going to let you all read it for yourselves. So please, enjoy!**

[EDIT: this chapter was re-uploaded on 8/1/2018]

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

Major Evan Lorne slowly took a sip of his native drink as his eyes skillfully surveilled the darkened banquet hall.

Across the room from his sentry position, there was a high wooden table that seated the nobility and the honored guests. Among those seated at the table were other senior members of the Atlantis Expedition, those he was supposed to be guarding.

But for the purpose of the trade negotiations, Lorne tried to make his reconnaissance as covert as possible. As such, he stayed as far away from the delegates as he could, purposely choosing to position himself by one of the hall's grand entrances.

The humans of PXK-233 were feudalistic. Their society relied on strict class divisions: Lords, Nobles, Protectors, Tradesmen, and Commoners. From what Lorne had learned during his first visit to the planet, there were five ruling Lords that shared a balance of power over the population. Each Lord had his own land, castle, and supplementary village.

The Nobles swore fidelity to the Lords, acting as advisors and scholars. And while most of the nobility had gained their position due to birthright, it was not uncommon for the Lord to elevate a Tradesmen, or even a Protector, to the status of Noble for excellent services rendered unto the Lord. The Protectors and Tradesmen were the equivalent to Earth's own knights and skilled workers, respectively. Each class had enough money and power to avoid manual labor and live a contented existence. But, during times of war, they were called upon to make weapons and defend the Lord's lands.

The Commoners were the biggest class. They worked the fields and supplied food for the upper classes who, in turn, provided protection against roaming bands of criminals, wild beasts, and the Wraith. They were clearly the poorest class, living on outskirts of the villages, furthest from the castle.

When Lorne's team had first visited PXK-233 they were met by a handful of Commoners that were tilling a nearby field. They were curious of the explorers that came through the Ancestral Ring and quickly came over the greet the party of foreigners. Meanwhile, the nearest Protector was summoned to introduced them to the local ruler, Lord Solove.

As per protocol, Lorne left one of his soldiers, Lieutenant Abrams, at the Stargate before continuing on with the rest of his team toward the castle.

Lord Solove greeted the travelers in his throne room. After a brief introduction and explanation for their travels, the Lord happily agreed to negotiate for trade.

"We do not have many traders that come through the Ring," he explained. "Our best ally, the Orogans, was greatly decimated during the last culling. They have, understandably, suspended all trade with us. As such, our medicine stores have become very low and I fear my people may fall to illness."

"I will gladly bring news of trade to our leader," Lorne diplomatically replied. "All negotiations will be done through her."

"Her?" Lord Solove questioned.

"Yes, Dr. Elizabeth Weir is the leader of our expedition. Is that a problem?" Lorne narrowed his eyes at the local ruler. It would not have been the first time that he met a patriarchal civilization that resisted female authority.

Lord Solove simply smiled and responded, "Not at all."

Lorne and his team planned to remain another two hours to tour the castle and surrounding lands before heading back to the Stargate for their scheduled check in with Atlantis. The castle itself was an impressive piece of architecture. It was massive and housed hundreds of large rooms and corridors that provided protection to Nobles and Commoners alike during Wraith attacks.

The entire castle was made of an indefinable dark, dense stone. It reminded Lorne of Naquadah, the mineral that the Ancients used to composed the Stargates.

"The stone disrupts life scans," their tour guide told them. "That way we are able to deceive the Wraith of our numbers. They think us to be a small population."

Curious, the Major asked, "What kind of stone is it?"

"It is called Disrutu. We harvest it in the hills."

Lorne nodded, tucking away the information for later.

The travelers were also shown the Protectors' training grounds. It was a wide courtyard lined with crude, wooden targets. On one side of the field several men silently watched a sparring instruction. They all wore similar grey uniforms and carried guns with long blades. The weapons seemed to most closely resemble a rifle and bayonet used in the late 1700s on Earth. One man barked instructions from the sideline while two Protectors continued to wrestle. The instructor wore a bright red shoulder patch on his uniform, indicating a high rank. The tour guide later introduced him as Baltier, the Head Protector.

Baltier easily smiled at the visitors and greeted them warmly. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Major."

"Likewise," he drawled. When Lorne shook his hand, he was impressed by the man's strength. Baltier was a large man, almost a head taller than Lorne. His sandy colored hair was sheared close to his skull and he was cleanly shaven. He had broad shoulders and hard muscles. The Major mused that if he didn't know any better he would have guessed the Head Protector to be from Sateda.

"I am intrigued by your weapons," Baliter commented, pointing to the P-90 strapped to the front of Lorne's TAC vest. "Would such a firearm be available during trade negotiations?"

"I'm afraid not," Lorne responded evenly. "On principle, we do not trade weapons with any of our allies. We do, however, offer military training."

The Head Protector grinned. "Personal training is always welcome."

Shortly after, much to Baltier's disappointment, Lorne and his team left to go see the archives and records. Located in the basement, the library was fiercely protected from foreign attack and natural disaster. Lorne was impressed by the expanse of the planet's knowledge and history.

Later, upon returning to Atlantis, Elizabeth was eager to learn of a new potential trading partner. Lorne recounted what he had witnessed of the society and its population. When asked, the Major conceded that it would be best to offer medicine and possibly military training during negotiations. In return, he told her of the castle's unique stone. While food and textiles were always needed on Atlantis, Lorne explained that if the Disrutu mineral was as good as it sounded it would greatly aid them in the war against the Wraith.

"Agreed," Elizabeth said. "When you return to confirm negotiations, I'll send Dr. McKay with you to test the stone. While we might have little need for it here on Atlantis, it could be very helpful at our Alpha sites."

The next day Lorne's team returned to PXK-233 with Rodney McKay. Luckily, Lord Solove allowed Rodney to run some preliminary tests on the castle walls while he talked to Lorne about negotiations. The Lord settled on a period of three days were he, and two more local rulers, could meet with Elizabeth. With the promise of peaceful negotiations, and Rodney's report that the Disrutu stone did indeed block out life sign detection, Lorne returned to Atlantis with good news.

Several days later Elizabeth accompanied Lorne's team through the Stargate to begin negotiations. Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard's team also came along for added protection. The group was given quarters and food before the first meetings began. Elizabeth and Teyla Emmagen were given a large, ornate bedroom near the throne room while the men were housed on the other side the castle in less hospitable quarters. Originally John was displeased with the placement, fearful for Elizabeth's safety. But Ronon Dex quickly calmed him down, stating that Teyla was a formidable opponent to any possible assassin.

The following day Elizabeth led the negotiations. Teyla, John, and Rodney stayed with her, acting as advisors. Meanwhile, Lorne and Ronon spent most of their time with the Protectors. Ronon gladly gave fighting demonstrations while Lorne aided others to fix their shooting style. The Head Protector seemed particularly interested in the Major's skill; Baltier often complemented Lorne on his style and requested for private lessons after meal times. Lorne agreed, for the sake of the negotiations.

The meetings were slow but successful.

The local Lords' desperation for medicine overpowered their reluctance to trade the amount Disrutu stone that Rodney requested. In the end, it was Baltier who convinced Lord Solove and the others that the military training alone would be a great asset to their people.

And so, on the third and final night of negotiations, Lord Solove prepared a feast to solidify the formation of their newest alliance.

The Lords had requested that no weapons be allowed in the great banquet hall. As a demonstration of trust between their two peoples, Elizabeth complied. As such, for safety's sake, Lorne was placed on sentry duty for the festivities while the others took their seats at the high table as guests of honor.

Now, the third hour into the feast, Lorne was growing restless. Nothing was happening, not that anyone expected something to happen. Everyone was too preoccupied with the food and drink to really start any trouble.

Taking another sip of his drink, the Major lazily scanned the crowded room. He saw Lieutenant Abrams stationed at the other main entrance at the far end of the hall. He didn't see Ronon, but he assumed the Satedan was doing another walk through of the castle's hallways. When he'd finished his scan of the room, Lorne's eyes automatically sought out his commanding officer.

" _How's everything?_ " asked John over the headset Lorne wore. The question was hardly audible over the music.

The sound of drums echoed throughout the hall. The beat pounded hard and fast, encouraging the native performers to dance to and fro in a tortuous manner, endlessly twirling around and around. Their traditional clothing reflected the candlelight, creating a nauseating swirl of colors and movement.

"All's quiet," Lorne reported. He winced as the music changed tempo again. "Well, as quiet as it can be."

" _Headache, Major?_ "

"Nothing I can't handle, sir," he drawled in reply.

Lorne took another sip of his drink. The native beverage was a deep red and tasted of cherries. It was the only non-alcoholic drink offered at the feast, and since Lorne was technically on duty he could not partake in the wine.

"Major, are you enjoying the festivities?"

Lorne turned to the left and found Baltier casually leaning against a nearby table ladened with fresh fruit.

"Of course," the Major replied, hiding a grimace as the music swelled again. "How are you, Baltier?" he asked, giving the Head Protector one of his very best smiles. The two soldiers had become fairly friendly over the past three days.

"Very well, thank you," the Head Protector responded, returning his own grin. "Did you enjoy your Luptis?" the man asked, gesturing to the empty cup in Lorne's hand.

The Major guessed that Luptis was the name of the native drink. "Yes," Lorne confessed, "it was very good."

"Allow me to refill your glass."

Nodding, Lorne passed Baltier the empty cup before making another sweep of the banquet hall. After a minute, he was greeted with a freshly filled glass. Baltier beamed as Lorne immediately took a sip of Luptis before changing their conversation from pleasantries to defensive strategies against the Wraith.

As the music beat on, the Major began to find it strangely difficult to focus on Baltier, the dancers, and guests all at once.

" _All positions, check in_ ," John ordered via the earpiece several minutes later.

As to not appear rude to his friend, Lorne nodded distractedly at Baltier while attempting to listen to all the different responses from the team. Finding it wholly unsuccessful, Lorne opted to ignore his commanding officer and keep his diminishing focus on Baltier.

" _Lorne, you there?_ " John inquired over the headset. When the Major didn't immediately respond, he ordered, " _Anyone got eyes on him?_ "

" _Yes, he is fine_ ," Teyla announced. " _He is busy talking to the Head Protector._ "

" _Who?_ " Rodney's voice entered the conversation.

John's voice came through the earpiece again. " _You know, the guy that couldn't stop singing praises about Lorne's military training._ "

" _You sure he wasn't talking about Ronon?_ " came the scientist's nasally response.

" _McKay, you_ do _know that Ronon isn't the only trained officer on this mission, right?_ "

" _Whatever._ "

Taking another sip of his drink, Lorne blinked slowly as he attempted to follow the banter between scientist and soldier. A quick glance towards the dancers caused a small burst of panic to swell his chest when he didn't immediately spot Lieutenant Abrams across the room. Shifting his gaze toward the high table, Lorne finally spotted Abrams standing next to Elizabeth and the others. A wave of relief flooded Lorne's body, but it was short-lived when Baltier roughly tapped his shoulder.

"Did you hear anything I just said?" the Head Protector inquired gruffly, his bulging arms crossed over his chest.

"Huh? Sure, of course I am."

"So what do you think?"

"About what?" Lorne asked dumbly, his attention on the larger man waning. Finding it exceedingly difficult to focus, the Major shook his head in an attempt to correct his suddenly swimming vision.

In an effort to compose himself, Lorne gulped down the rest of his drink and stepped away from Baltier with the intention of doing a quick circuit of the dance floor before checking in with John. Instead, he staggered backwards into Baltier thick frame.

He suddenly felt very lethargic.

Cold hands grabbed Lorne's shoulders to steady him. "Major, are you okay?"

"S'rry," Lorne replied, eyes widening in shock at hearing the slur in his own voice.

He attempted to push away from Baltier but once again his vision spiraled. His mind seemed sluggish and lazy.

"Major?"

After a beat of silence Lorne realized the question was directed at him. And, when he turned to look at the blond male, he staggered sideways drunkenly. Lorne furrowed his brow in confusion, he knew he hadn't had anything but Luptis to drink so why did he feel like he had one too many glasses of wine?

"Whoa! Careful," Baltier exclaimed as he reached out and slipped his arms around Lorne's waist to steady him. "I think you've had a bit too much to drink."

"Dn't ha w-wine," Lorne indignantly slurred. He placed both his hands on Baltier's chest in an effort to remove himself from the tall soldier's crushing grip.

Now there was fear blossoming in Lorne's chest, but it seemed strangely dull and removed, as if it belonged to someone else.

"Leggo," he muttered, clenched his hands into fists. Using all his strength he weakly tried push the sandy-haired man off him. But Baltier wouldn't budge.

Lorne dumbly stared at his hands balled in the other soldier's shirt. Something was wrong. He needed to get to his radio. He had to talk to John.

But a gravelly voice quickly stole back his diminished and divided attention. "What was that? Are you saying you don't like me anymore? You seemed interested enough earlier."

And, as one of Baltier's hands left his waist and caressed the side of his face, Lorne realized he had greatly misjudged the man's friendliness. And his intentions.

"How about we go somewhere quiet, huh?" the man grinned. He let go of the Major's face and grabbed his right wrist. "I know just the place." And, keeping the other arm firmly clasped around his waist, Baltier forced the smaller man to his side while flinging Lorne's captive arm over his broad shoulders.

Everything was starting to look hazy and unreal. But one thing broke through the fog of Lorne's mind: this man he considered a friend was forcing him to leave the banquet hallagainst his will.

Baliter was not just some gentile soldier, the Major realized. He had drugged Lorne and was taking him who-knows where to do who-knows what. Despite this realization, Lorne still couldn't find the power to struggle against the Head Protector. He simply staggered alongside him toward a side exit.

At such a close proximity Lorne immediately noticed that Baltier smelled a little like John. Like coffee and peppermint, that's what it was; his commanding officer always had a hint of peppermint about him. It was silly really, but Lorne always liked the way John smelled. Pathetically, it was one of the many reasons he had a crush on the Colonel. Yes, he would admit that John Sheppard was incredibly good looking but that was just the surface. Few people were able to see the Colonel's humor and his intelligence. John always played into people's expectations, allowing them to underestimate him before once again saving the day. The Colonel had earned Lorne's fierce loyalty. That and his love, though he would never admit it out loud.

Stumbling over his own feet, the implications of his current situation finally penetrated through the fog that clouded his mind.

Lorne's mind slowly drifted away from peaceful thoughts of his commanding officer and fear jolted his very being and ran down his spine. As his eyes listlessly tried to focus on his surroundings, Lorne realized that Baltier was still leading him to toward one of the hall's many side entrances.

The Major made a weak attempt to pull away from his kidnapper, but Baltier easily repelled his pathetic movements.

Cold hands tightened their hold on Lorne's right wrist, effectively cutting him off to all access to his headset, the only thing that could alert the team to his dire dilemma.

"Let me go," Lorne ordered, but it came out as an unintelligible growl.

"Come on, Major, are you really saying you don't want this? Want me?" Baltier chuckled. "I'll make it worth your while, I promise."

As a sudden blast of cold air swept over him, it became horrifyingly apparent to Lorne that he had somehow missed the fact that they had already left the hot and crowded banquet hall.

Slightly reinvigorated by the fresh air, the Major mustered all his strength and pushed away from his kidnapper. Lorne thought that if he could get free of Baltier's iron grip and alerted someone to his plight then the sandy-haired man would cut his losses and he wouldn't try anything.

Unfortunately, it turned out the drugs were just too strong and he was just too weak. The best he could do was cause the pair of them to stumble sideways.

Their clumsy skuffle caught the eye of the native guard stationed outside the exit.

With another burst of adrenaline, Lorne tried to frantically ask the guard for help, but it came out as a feeble slur.

The Head Protector gripped him tighter, shifting more of Lorne's weight onto his shoulders. "Sorry," Baltier smiled apologetically toward the guard, "it seems these traders just can't hold their wine."

The guard gave his superior a sympathetic look before frowning and sending a disgusted sneer at Lorne. "Of course, sir."

Lorne gave one more desperate look over his shoulder in the direction of the banquet hall. He could see his team through the open door. They were laughing and joyfully drinking with their hosts. Panic and fear coiled in Lorne's gut when no one came to his aid, or even looked in his general direction, before the door fully slammed behind them.

Baltier easily stepped around the guard before dragging Lorne further down the empty hallway.

" _How's the party?_ " Ronon's voice suddenly sounded.

Startled by the voice, the Major remembered the headset that was still in his ear. Regrettably, he was still trapped by the Head Protector's bulking form.

The sandy-haired man would have to release him sooner or later, Lorne reasoned; then he would be able to call for help. That is if John didn't realize he hadn't checked in for a while.

" _It's exhausting,"_ Rodney complained. _"They tried to serve me some sort of lemon pie. I mean, are they trying to kill me?! You know I am seriously allergic to citrus. And it's so hot in here! I'm practically melting. Do you think we can leave soon? All this dancing and loud music is giving me a migraine. I'm tired, that lumpy bed they gave me hurts my back. I haven't slept in days! And when I don't sleep I get-_ "

" _Rodney, please leave this channel open for serious concerns,_ " John drawled.

The drugged Major was starting to feel even weaker and his coordination was rapidly deteriorating. As he stumbled down the hallway Lorne realized that if they didn't reach their destination soon his kidnapper would have to drag him to it.

"Where," he slowly enunciated, trying to pronounce each sound in an intelligible manner, "going?"

The Head Protector replied with a sickly sweet smile. "You're different from the others."

Lorne hissed as Baltier's bruising grip tightened around his wrist as they stumbled around the corner of the corridor.

"Careful," Baltier cautioned.

All the winding hallways were making Lorne nauseous. Gulping back stomach acid and Luptis, Lorne didn't attempt to talk again.

After turning another corner, Lorne lost his balance, almost completely face-planting on the cold, stone floor. Baltier shifted his grip to grab hold of a belt loop near the Major's buckle to steady him.

The suddenly intimate position of the man's hand sent another fission of fear down Lorne's spine. His mind was still fuzzy and the knowledge of what would transpire if he didn't get away seemed to be inconceivable.

By now Lorne's headset was silent again.

The Major knew the next check-in would not be for at least another fifteen minutes. In the meantime, even if Abrams or Ronon were to notice he had abandoned his post, they would merely assume he was making another sweep of the room.

As they reached a locked door Baltier gently eased Lorne back into the dark stone wall. Once satisfied that Lorne could now support himself, the Head Protector released his hold on the soldier and began to fish around in his pockets for a set of keys.

Lorne's vision faded in and out as he took a deep, shuddering breath. Devising a new strategy, he focused what little strength he had left on raising his now free hands in order to access to his headset in his ear.

But, before he could try anything, the wooden door unlocked with a click.

Expecting for Baltier to try to maneuver him into the darkened doorway, Lorne pushed away from the wall in a last ditch effort to do something, anything to get away from the man who drugged him and dragged him away.

Instead, his kidnapper stepped in front of Lorne, allowing for the momentum of his push to carry Lorne directly into Baltier's chest. For a brief moment their bodies met, curves matching curves, flushed together in the terrible semblance of intimacy before Lorne bounced back against the stone behind him.

Surge of dread rushed through the Major before settling like a rock in his stomach. But the dread quickly morphed into nauseous disgust as Baltier stepped even closer, trapping him against the wall. And for the second time that night, cupped the side of Lorne's face with his cold hands.

The Head Protector's eyes lustfully searched the face before him. "You really are different." The blond man leaned in even closer and affectionately patted Lorne's cheek. "So pretty."

Too weak to turn away, Lorne closed his eyes and tried to ignore the passionate kiss that followed. Baltier's rough lips muffled any slurred protests that Lorne could make.

Suddenly Lorne's knees buckled, his legs giving out from underneath him. His kidnapper quickly pulled back from their kiss in order to catch the incapacitated soldier before he completely collapsed to the floor.

"Oops, careful," Baltier soothed. "We should probably wait until we're alone, huh?"

Two arms slipped under Lorne's shoulders and hoisted him up before awkwardly dumping him inside the newly opened corridor.

As Baltier's form dipped over his captive's crumpled limbs, Lorne caught another whiff of the larger man's scent.

Coffee and peppermint.

The familiarity of the smell sent Lorne reeling. A sudden clash of images and emotions crashed over him – love, fear, joy, horror, friendship, violation, John, Baltier...

Coffee and peppermint.

Lorne's head spun dizzyingly as he clamored frantically, and in vain, away from the musky smell. He gagged.

With the threat of being sick to his stomach, one thought finally managed to break through the drugged fogginess of Lorne's mind: _escape_. He had to get out, now. Before... before _it_ happened.

Lorne shuddered involuntarily at the notion.

There was no way he would be able to run away in his incapacitated state. Just the mere idea of physical activity made Lorne queasy. He would have to rely on the team to rescue him. But first he had to alert them.

Breathing heavily through his mouth, Lorne slowly lift his head and squinted through the black spots in his vision to see that Baltier had temporarily vanished. Knowing he wouldn't get another chance to call for help without his kidnapper noticing, Lorne put all of his strength into moving his right arm.

But turning on the earpiece was easier said than done, apparently. After several tries Lorne's arm finally responded to his frantic attempts to move it. It flopped uncontrollably towards his face before slamming painfully against the stone wall. The pain helped, clearing the haze a little. Lorne tilted his head towards his fingers and clicked the earpiece on.

"H-h 'elp," the Major slurred.

" _What was that?_ " John's voice commanded over the headset. " _Who spoke?_ "

Gritting his teeth in determination, Lorne swallowed slowly around his dry tongue and tried to speak in a more understandable manner. "H- help," he weakly called again.

" _Lorne? Is that you?_ " Teyla questioned, confusion lacing her voice.

The Major only grunted in reply.

" _Lorne, what's wrong?_ " Elizabeth inquired.

Closing his eyes in relief, Lorne continued to concentrate on enunciating slowly. "Drug- 'd."

" _Drugs? Where?_ " Rodney butted in.

" _Shit, no! That's not what he means_ ," John exclaimed, joining the barrage of voices. " _Lorne, are you alright? Does anyone have eyes on him?_ "

A cacophony of replies quickly filled Lorne's ear. Elizabeth's voice rose above the clamour, frantically trying to reach him. " _Lorne, have you been drugged?_ " she asked.

"Y- yeah." Lorne quickly licked his chapped lips. "Hall," he continued just as the sound of footsteps approached him.

" _What? What was that last one?_ " Rodney pressed.

" _Fuck!_ " the Colonel loudly swore. " _He's not at the banquet anymore. I'm not detecting any music from his microphone._ "

Then, suddenly, his would-be rapist was back, kneeling down next to him. And before Lorne could even react, he was hoisted up and dragged deeper into the dark corridor.

"Let's get out of here, Major," Baltier murmured. "I found the perfect place for us to get more acquainted."

"H- hall," Lorne managed again, the last syllable getting partially stuck in his dry throat.

" _Did you just say 'hall'?_ " Ronon demanded sharply. " _Where?_ "

"Don't worry, it's not much further. We'll be there soon." Baltier reached over and briefly squeezed Lorne's ass before continuing down the dark corridor.

" _Sheppard? What's the situation?_ " Elizabeth ordered.

" _Rodney has enhanced Lorne's mic sensitivity and we're definitely picking up a second male voice_ ," John succinctly replied.

Consolation temporarily overpowered the revulsion of Baltier's touch. His team was now aware of his situation. But his relief was short lived when Lorne realized his teammates had only just started searching for him. Who knew how far from the banquet hall he was and, according to Baltier, their destination wasn't very far.

Teyla's voice crackled over his earpiece. " _Major, are you still there?_ "

Lorne's head haphazardly rolled from side to side with each step.

" _His headset is still open,_ " Rodney replied after a moment of silence.

Lorne coughed. His tongue felt thick and heavy, like a dried up lump of flesh.

" _Okay, Lorne, if you can hear me, we're coming. You hear?_ " John calmly promised, his voice adopting the commanding tone that the Major easily recognized. " _Just hold on!"_

Lorne felt ill as the vertigo began to kick in again. As they took another turn Lorne's vision greyed out.

He tried to moisten his lips but his body was no longer responding to his brain.

In a way, it reminded him of the time he was kidnapped by the Genii. Drugged and brought before their leader, Cowen, the Genii had ordered him to use his ATA gene to work their stolen Ancient technology. The Genii scientists had not been kind when he refused, electing to deny him and his fellow captives food and water. Without his cooperation the scientists went on to stick him full of needles in an attempt to create their own gene therapy with his blood. Back then, when he was weak from the drugs and dehydration, his head spun and throbbed like it was going to be split in two.

Dry heaving, Lorne gasped for air. The dark edges of his vision where closing in, threatening to sweep him under. Focus, he needed to focus. He had to; he had to make sure that his men were okay, that Cowen hadn't hurt them, the was John? Atlantis thought he was dead. But they were wrong. Genii had taken his gun. His uniform. His dog tags. They had stunned him. No, they had stunned him and then taken his gun, uniform, and dog tags. Or was it the other way around? He wasn't quite sure anymore.

Lorne felt a frisson of fear at the thought. What was happening? Was he being taken? But he had escaped the Genii. He seemed to remember that, but now he wasn't so sure… Then where was John? Had Cowen killed him? He was so confused. And afraid. What was Cowen going to do? Kill him. Rape him. Something clicked in his brain - that sounded familiar. Cowen had hurt others. Was he going to hurt to him too? No, he didn't want that.

Lorne stumbled and fell, his knees painfully hitting the floor. Hands grabbed at his uniform. Touching him, squeezing him. It was wrong. All wrong.

"Cowen-nnnn?" Lorne slurred, drugs muddling his mind.

"Huh? What was that, Major?"

That wasn't Cowen.

"N- not Cowen?" he babbled, more confused than ever.

"What's a cowen?"

The voice was closer now; warm breath tickled his ear. His empty ear. Lorne felt a frisson of fear at the thought. Where was his earpiece? Had it fallen out? Did the Genii take his radio too?

Two powerful arms encircled his chest and slipped under his armpits. Lifted from his slumped position, Lorne continued to stumble forwards under the assistance of his captor. That was funny; he didn't remember falling. Cold hands grabbed his frame and dragged him further into the darkness. His body was giving up. He collapsed again. Huffing, he tried to collect his legs underneath him. He barely managed it just before he felt himself being abruptly pushed against a wall. A wall was good. He could lean on a wall. A wall was sturdy. Sturdy like Atlantis. Atlantis and John.

Coffee and Peppermint.

"John?" Kevin asked, hopefully.

"If you want, Major."

Lorne tried to peer through the haze but all he saw was a blurry outline of man.

The outline didn't look like John - he was too big, too rough. But he smelled like John. Lorne wasn't sure. Maybe it was John and he was wrong. After all, everything else was wrong: sight and sound and smell. He felt strange. Not right. He was woozy. His vision swam. His stomach hurt. Everything was not right, not at all. So he was probably wrong and the man was John. John must be right and he didn't want to hurt John's feelings by saying he wasn't right…

…but he smelled right. Like coffee and peppermint.

Suddenly there were lips kissing him. And hands touching him. Lorne allowed it even though he didn't feel well. Maybe John would make him feel better. John always made him feel better.

He blinked slowly. He should probably kiss back. But he felt sick. He didn't want John to get sick too. Frowning into another kiss, he tried to pull away.

"No, John," Lorne pleaded, trying not to focus on the rough lips and wandering hands.

"Sure, I'm John," a very non-John-like voice replied. "Here, let me show you, Major."

"S- stop!"

He tried to push them away but found he couldn't. He couldn't lift his arms. He couldn't turn his head away. "No," Lorne objected again. John wouldn't be doing this. John was straight. John like women. Something felt wrong. "No!"

"Okay," the voice said, hushing his protests. Cold hands removed their vice-like hold and moved to touch his face. "We can do something else. You'll enjoy it. I promise, Major."

He frowned. That wasn't his name.

"Evan."

The hands temporarily stopped moving. "What?"

"Evan."

"Evan? Is that your name?"

A weak nod. He wanted to say more but speaking was tiring and hard. He didn't want to talk anymore. He just wanted to sleep.

"Okay, then, _Evan_. I promise, you'll enjoy this next part."

Lips clashed against each other as a heavy body grinded into Lorne, sandwiching him against the stone wall. Lorne felt as though he was drowning, unable to surface for air. The man moaned in pleasure, his throat vibrating against Lorne's jaw line.

After several long, breathless seconds, the lips and the solid frame lazily drew away. Lorne's eyes widen slightly as he began to slide down the wall. But before hit the floor, two large hands fisted the front of his uniform, pulled him away from the wall, and pushed him backward onto an elevated bed.

Lorne collapsed, boneless. Now completely prone on the soft, flat surface, Lorne closed his eyes, happy to be left alone. Maybe now he could sleep. But before he had the chance, a husky grunt sounded above him as a heavy weight descended onto his body and straddled his waist, thrusting downwards. Accompanying the sudden pressure applied on his hips, a pair of teeth nipped his neck, biting him. Cold hands edged down to his waistline, working at his belt buckle, unclasping it.

Lorne made a small noise in protest, unable to find his voice.

The large hands moved up to his face, gently cupping his chin. "Let's get you out of these clothes."

His TAC vest was roughly stripped from his upper body.

"H- hey," Lorne objected feebly, taken aback by the man's forcefulness.

The cold hands untucked his t-shirt before sliding underneath. "Shhh, Evan."

The lips were back. Crushing him, suffocating him. A tongue worked its way past his teeth. Lorne gagged. Wrong. All wrong.

In an attempt to get the heavy figure off him, Lorne bit down on the tongue - hard enough to draw blood.

A strangled scream echoed throughout the room. The soft, calm speech from before abruptly transformed into a harsh, steely voice.

"Bitch!"

The flash of movement brought Lorne's attention back to the hulking body straddling his waist. Blood dripped from the man's lips, splashing onto the drugged soldier's cheek. Warm blood. Cold hands. Then, before Lorne could react, the man roughly grabbed his t-shirt and ripped it open.

"You shouldn't have done that!"

Lorne trembled as the angry words washed over him. It was too much to handle at once. Lorne really wanted to be left alone. He felt sick. He didn't like this man. Where did John go? Had he abandoned him? He just wanted to get away.

 _Whack_!

Lorne's head snapped to the right. A horrible stinging sensation radiated off the left side of his face. Lorne groaned in pain. His chest heaved with each breath.

A cold hand grabbed his throat, pushing Lorne's head back into the bed, effectively cutting off all protests. Fingers lazily trailed down his exposed chest. Lorne shivered. But he wasn't sure if it was from the touch or from the cold.

Lorne wheezed. He wanted to ask the man to leave him alone. But speaking was hard and he was tired. So tired. His head was ringing. Pounding. He just wanted it all to stop. He wanted to sleep. Sleep for a very long time.

The hand around his throat tightened.

Lorne gagged, trying to catch a breath. A weak moan escaped his lips before a second hand grabbed his groin through the thin material of his pants. It stayed there a while, stroking, creating unwanted friction. When the hand finally drew away it moved to tug at Lorne's waistband and belt.

The choking hold on his throat loosened slightly. Lorne gasped for air. And, in his effort to gain precious oxygen, he almost missed the sound of a zipper. Heaving harshly he felt something hard and warm and wet pushed up against his belly button.

But before he could regain his senses the deafening crack of splintering wood echoed somewhere above him. Loud voices followed, shouting at the surprised man above Lorne. Letting go of his throat, the man turned to face the source of the interruption. The man's frustrated, startled growl added to the discord that had suddenly filled the room. Lorne felt his presence being yanked off his body.

The man twisted and turned, trying to escape the clamoring chaos. One of his flailing feet painfully met the side of Lorne's face and, for the second time in a few short minutes, his head snapped to the right. Stars exploded among the black spots in front of his eyes. The nausea was overpowering. His stomach rebelled. He rolled and vomited over the side of the bed. The shouting and yelling grew louder and blended into an atrocious roar. Lorne's head throbbed. He moaned.

A deep voice rose above the cacophony. "Lorne? LORNE!" The voice sounded strangely familiar but he didn't bother answering it. He just wanted to sleep.

Then there were hands on him again, rolling him onto his back. Warm hands.

"Major Lorne, are you okay?" the deep voice demanded.

He made a faint noise in protest.

"What did he do to you?"

Reluctantly, Lorne's eyes fluttered open. That was funny; he didn't remember closing them. He squinted at the stranger now above him. It was a giant of a man with a mass of dreadlocks on his head. He looked vaguely familiar. Lorne couldn't remember him just now. He didn't care either. But it was someone who made him feel safe. He closed his eyes again. He just wanted to sleep.

The man anxiously touched him. Chest, arms, face. The man above him fiercely swore before gently touching his disturbed belt buckle. The warm hands, slightly more frantic than before, briefly grappled with the top of his pants.

"Thank the Ancestors," the man sighed.

"Ronon? Is he alright?" another new voice inquired.

The new voice was accompanied by a familiar scent. Coffee and peppermint. Lorne's eyes snapped back open and he tensed. He desperately tried to find the source of the new voice. His eyes rested upon a black-haired man. Smaller, skinner. He was different. But safe.

"Yeah, he's fine. We got here in time. He got his shirt off but that seems to be all."

Lorne let his eyes slip shut. He was safe. He just wanted to sleep.

Warm hands, not cold, gently tapped his cheek. "Major? Lorne, are you still with us?"

Lorne frowned slightly in annoyance. It was too much. He couldn't handle it anymore. His head was pounding. His body hurt. His limbs refused to cooperate. He couldn't think straight. He felt sick. He just wanted to sleep.

Finally, Lorne got his wish; he slowly sighed and surrendered himself to the encroaching nothingness from which he wasn't sure he would ever surface.

 **~o~o~**

 _A/N:_ **Whelp, there it is. Chapter one complete. I hope you all enjoyed it. I'm so glad I finally posted this, I've been meaning to do it for a while now but life kept getting in the way.**

 **I hope you guys didn't get too confused near the end. I tried to recreate the confusion and dread that Lorne was experiencing under the influence of the drug. I tried to keep it as clear and concise as I possibly could. I've never tired to write like that so it was a nice challenge.**

 **Some of you may be wondering why I used Lorne's last name while all the other characters are referred to by their first names (i.e. John and Rodney). Well, I did this because Major Evan Lorne is only ever referred to as 'Lorne' during the** Stargate: Atlantis **series. As such, I decided that I would only refer to the Major by his last name or rank in the narrative. However, several characters will refer to him as 'Evan' or other nicknames in certain dialogue.**

 **Until next time! Please review!**

[EDIT: Some material in the first two chapters are adopted from "Everything Sparkles" by Valerie Vancollie. With permission from the author, I have put this disclaimer and utilized the basic plot of the one-shot as exposition for this current story. Obviously, past the very beginning the two stories differ greatly.

Inspiration was also drawn from "Precarious" by MildyInsane.]


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **Wow! You guys have been super awesome! As such, I'm posting this chapter a little earlier than I originally planned. Let this be a lesson, the more reviews and favorites I receive on a story the faster I write. It's excellent motivation to keep my readers pleased and begging for more.**

 **I hope you like this next chapter!**

[EDIT: this chapter was re-uploaded on 8/1/2018]

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

Lorne woke with a start, desperately clutching the bed beneath him.

He instantly panicked, not recognizing his surroundings. Adrenaline flooded his system. Antiseptic smell, monotonous beeping, small bed, scratchy gown. He was in the infirmary. On Atlantis. Instead of calming him, the realization only served to increase his panic. What happened?

The beeping of his heart rate monitor increased sharply but Lorne ignored it, his thoughts were elsewhere. The last thing he remembered was standing guard in the banquet hall on PXK-233… everything else was a big blur of emotions, smells, and sounds - a jumbled mess of distorted flashes. What had happened to his team? Where was John? When did he get back on Atlantis?

"Major Lorne?"

Why couldn't he remember?

"Major!"

A sudden slap across his face jarred the Major from his jumbled thoughts. Reflexively, his hand shot up and tightly grabbed the wrist of the person who'd hit him. It took him a moment to realize it was only Teyla.

"What?" Lorne asked, confused. "Teyla?"

"Oh, good, you are with me now," the Athosian replied, visibly relieved. "I am sorry, but you did not appear to be aware of your surrounding."

Lorne blinked a few times at his friend. Slowly, he released the captured wrist from his crushing grip. Looking up, he met Teyla's worried eyes. She gave him a small, reassuring smile that didn't quite reach her tired eyes.

But before Lorne could ask what happened, the curtain next to his bed opened and Dr. Jennifer Keller rushed in.

"What's going on in here?" she demanded.

"He just woke up and started to hyperventilate," Teyla explained.

"He had an anxiety attack?"

Teyla nodded. "Yes."

Jennifer seemed to deflate at the admission but frowned when she looked over the machines attached to her patient. "You shouldn't be awake yet," the Doctor tisked.

"He is stubborn that way," Teyla said with a fond smile.

"What happened?" Lorne asked.

He blinked, fragmented memories of cold, wandering hands dancing in his mind's eye. Seeing the look that passed between Jennifer and Teyla, the Major's stomach dropped. Something unpleasant had happened. Very unpleasant. He blinked again. A haunting suspicion entered the back of his mind. Nausea, fear, desperation, pain.

"W-what happened?" he asked a second time, ignoring the slight quiver in his voice.

Jennifer hesitated. "I don't think that's such a good idea right now. You need to rest," she gently stated. "You don't need any additional stress."

"No, what he needs is the truth," Teyla firmly argued, her face settling into a diplomatic mask that Lorne easily recognized. "Otherwise this scene will repeat itself the next time he wakes."

"I don't like it. I think a sedative would be the best thing for him right now."

"You do not have to right to withhold this information from him," the Athosian persisted; the sudden fierceness in her voice surprised Lorne. "And did you not say that he should not be awake yet? Should you really give him another sedative while the medicine you gave him earlier is still in his blood?"

"Teyla," Lorne interrupted, "what happened? Something went wrong, didn't it? With the negotiations."

"Yes," Teyla confirmed.

"Is everyone else okay? Sheppard? Ronon? McKay?" There was a moment of silence. "Oh god, Dr. Weir?"

Teyla tenderly placed a warm hand on his forearm in an effort to calm him. "Everyone else is fine, including Elizabeth," she soothed.

"Then what…" All of a sudden it dawned upon him. "I was attacked," he inferred.

He blinked slowly, another barrage of memories left him breathless: a man's needy touch, a familiar voice, a distinct fear, a taste of cherries… Drugged. He has been drugged, kidnapped. Victim to a man he considered a friend.

"He spiked my drink, didn't he?"

"He drugged you, yes," Teyla stated before continuing on quickly. "But you were able to fight the drug and alert the team. You lost your earpiece, so they could only follow your signal so far. The Disrutu stone made it impossible for them to use the LSD to find you. But Ronon was able to track you. They got to you in time, before he could do anything."

The relief that flooded his system was indescribable. Lorne sank back against the pillows, tension leaving his body. Teyla leaned forward, gently patting his arm in a reassuring manner. Jennifer seemed happy that the Major's heart rate finally slowed, no longer dangerously high.

"I'll go let the others know you're awake," the Doctor told Lorne before turning towards Teyla. "Try to keep him calm."

Lorne had a million of questions he wanted to ask. Why hadn't he noticed his drink was spiked? Had he tried to resist him? What really happened when he was separated from the team? Teyla said he'd contacted the team, but she made mention that he witnessed his rescue. She said nothing happened, but how does she know for sure?

"Major Lorne," comforted Teyla as the Major's heart rate spiked once more. Her hand calmly ran through his short hair. "All is fine, you are safe. We all are."

Lorne nodded, and settling for one of the least confrontational questions he had, he asked, "How long?"

Teyla raised an eyebrow, silently requesting an elaboration.

"How long have I been here?" Lorne amended.

"Almost a full day."

Lorne was stunned he had been unconscious for so long.

"Where are the others?" Lorne questioned. "Are they here?"

"They are getting some coffee from the cafeteria. I will go see what is taking Jennifer so long."

The Major nodded. Teyla stepped away from the bed but did not get very far before their missing friends appeared, coffee in hand.

"Major Lorne!" Rodney deafeningly exclaimed. "How are you feeling?" he asked as he lightly punched the Major's arm.

Lorne stared at Rodney, clearly perturbed at the fact the scientist just punched him. Clearly the man did not know how to interact with soldiers other than John. "Okay, I guess."

"Everybody else was _so worried_." The scientist rolled his eyes. "I wasn't, of course. I mean, you had me with you. I could have single-handedly rescued you all by myself but I thought it would be best to bring the whole team, you know," Rodney rambled. "Anyway, just remember this next time, because you really shouldn't give me so much grief abou-"

"McKay…" John growled, effectively cutting off the boisterous man. "It's good to see you awake, Lorne." The Colonel offered him a tight smile.

Everyone nodded.

"What do you remember?" Ronon asked.

"Not very much." Lorne admitted. "Just flashes, and feelings."

Rodney piped up, "That's the drug." Lorne turned his head to look at the scientist. "The drug he used causes anterograde amnesia. You could get your memory back, later on that is."

"I expected as much," he said, a bit embarrassed to even be in this type of situation.

"I'm just glad you're okay, Major," John quietly reassured him.

Lorne looked at the Colonel in surprise for a few seconds, acutely aware of his use of the singular. Touched by his admission, though unable to voice it for fear of expressing his emotions too freely, he merely nodded his head. John gently smiled before patting his arm with his long, cold fingers.

Cold fingers. Lorne blinked, his breath hitched. Another flash of memory bombarded his senses, only this time it was tactile. Cold fingers ghosted over his face and chest. Roaming and needy hands. Lorne shivered, not all of the touches on his chest were through fabric; some of them were skin to skin. His grip on the bed sheets tightened.

"Ronon, when you found me…" The words stuck in his throat.

"Yes?"

"Nothing happened?"

The Satedan warrior hesitated for a second but replied nonetheless. "He had ripped off your shirt, but that was all."

Shit. He removed his shirt and touched him. Lorne swallowed and suppressed a shudder at the thought. It made his skin crawl to think of his would-be rapist touching him, groping him. Even the half remembered touches caused a wave of disgust to crash over him.

John must have sensed Lorne's inner turmoil because he leaned forward in an attempt comfort him. Lorne almost reached out, desperately wanting to feel safe in the Colonel's arms. He needed to be reassured that he was here, alive, unsullied. But, just as he was about to give in and beg John to hold him, he smelled something.

Coffee and peppermint.

Lorne choked. Images and emotions suddenly overwhelmed him. Hysteric, Lorne forcefully shoved John away, unthinkingly, gasping as he attempted to control his terror. He scrambled to sit up. Scampering away from his friends. Fear and disgust and helplessness welled up inside of him along with flashes of naked skin, hot lips and, of all things, traces of that familiar scent.

"Lorne?"

"Oh my God!"

"Major, what's happening?"

"LORNE!"

The cacophony of voices broke through the Major's rising panic. Sucking in a deep breathe, Lorne drew himself to focus on the present - silently telling himself, over and over, that it was done, finished. Eventually the incessant beeping of his heart monitor decreased to a more manageable level. Finally getting his breathing under control, he beckoned Ronon to move closer to the side of his bed. The Satedan complied.

"You caught him?" Lorne asked, still slightly breathless.

"Yes, we did," Ronon proudly declared.

"Elizabeth is still on PXK-233, overseeing his detainment." Lorne's head turned to look at his commanding officer again. "We wanted to bring him back to Atlantis but Lord Solove demanded that he receive punishment on his homeworld." John's lips were pursed in a straight line.

Lorne nodded. He was relieved that his attacker was at least imprisoned where he wouldn't be able to harm anyone ever again, including himself.

"Elizabeth is still trying to decide if the new trade agreement should be honored," Teyla added.

Lorne scowled at the thought of anyone ever going back to the planet.

"Um, are we just going to ignore what just happened?" Rodney inquired uncertainly, referring to Lorne's most recent panic attack.

"I remembered some more…" the Major winced, "stuff," he finished lamely.

"Interesting," Rodney hummed, "what was the trigger?"

Glancing shyly at his commanding officer, Lorne grimaced. "Colonel Sheppard's scent, I think," he explained, a little uncertain himself.

"Let me," Ronon said, stepping closer to John and taking a sniff. "Yup, you smell just like Baltier."

Lorne flinched at the casual use of his would-be rapist's name.

"You mean-" John began, horrified.

Rodney nervously cleared his throat. "They do say smell is the most powerful memory trigger."

"Oh God, I'm so sorry."

Closing his eyes, Lorne sank back into his pillow. "It wasn't your fault, sir. You just caught me unawares." Lorne sighed. He pressed his hands onto his face, hiding the embarrassed blush threatening to make itself known. "So what happens now?" he mumbled, mostly to himself.

"Well, it's still in the early stages, but I'll be returning tomorrow to the planet to oversee Baltier's trial and punishment. To see if it meets my standards," John said. "Apparently, it's my right as your commanding officer."

"I'm going, too," Ronon gruffly announced, frowning slightly, "as a witness."

Rodney snorted. "I'd rather not step foot on that planet ever again, thank you very much."

"Neither would I," Teyla agreed.

Slightly intrigued, the Major asked, "What do you think his punishment will be?"

John scowled. "Death would be too kind."

"On Sateda he would have been castrated."

"Hey, that's not a bad idea," the Colonel voiced, snapping his fingers. "I'll have to recommend that to Lord Solove."

Just then the curtain was pulled aside and Jennifer walked in. "Ah, Major Lorne. It's good to see you still awake. No more panic attacks?"

"Just one, ma'am," Lorne said, slightly ashamed.

Glancing down at the chart in her hand, Jennifer commented, "Don't worry, that's to be expected. I plan on keeping you overnight for observation." Looking back up at Lorne, she snapped the chart closed and said, "Alright then, I'm just going to give you a quick once over and then let you rest." Then, addressing the rest of the crowd around the bed, the Doctor declared, "Visiting hours are over, people! You can check on him tomorrow."

Slowly, everyone started to trail out of the infirmary. A chorus of "Get well" and "See you tomorrow" lingered long after the room emptied. Eventually Jennifer finished her exam and also left.

Lorne was alone at last.

 **~o~o~**

John dreaded going back to PXK-233.

But responsibility forced him to go. It was his job after all.

It had been sunny the first time he stepped out of the Stargate, but this time it was raining. Big, fat raindrops. Within minutes John and Ronon were soaked.

The two teammates began jogging toward the castle looming in the distance. Halfway there they were met by Lieutenant Abrams, one of Lorne's soldiers that had stayed behind to guard Elizabeth until John returned.

John nodded at him in greeting. "Lieutenant, report!"

"Colonel Sheppard!" Abrams snapped a quick salute before stating, "Dr. Weir spent most of yesterday with Lord Solove. He refuses to allow his Head Protector to be taken off-world. He's locked up in the dungeons right now, sir. No one's to talk to him or see him until the trial. It took all of Dr. Weir's negotiating power to even let us visit _him_ ," he sneered, making reference to Baltier, Lorne's attacker.

"And?"

"The bastard was a sniveling mess, sir. Keep claiming that it was the Major's fault..." the Lieutenant shuttered, "t-that he _wanted_ it."

Ronon growled. John felt the same.

The three eventually reached the castle. After being given fresh cloth to dry themselves off, they were greeted by two Protectors who quickly ushered them toward the throne room. Just as they were to pass through the final doorway Abrams suddenly stopped walking. "Sir?"

"Yeah."

"Major Lorne," Abrams swallowed, glanced down at his hands briefly before looking up to catch the Colonel's eye, "is he okay?"

There was a pregnant pause. "He'll be fine. Nothing happened." John's voice never wavered.

Abrams nodded, turned his back, and jogged ahead to catch up to Ronon and their escorts. John watched after him. Not sure if he had spoken the truth or if it was just wishful thinking. The Colonel shook his head. Lorne was stoic, resolute even, he would get through this. He had too.

"He'll be fine." John said again, more to himself than anyone else.

 **~o~o~**

"This is an outrage!"

John slammed his hand down on the table in front of him, cracking it.

The trial had been a farce. It had barely lasted more than an hour. Lord Solove had led the proceedings, directing the questioning of the witnesses. Two servants who handled the drinks at the banquet testified that had not seen Lorne drink anything other than Luptis all night. However, the guard, who was on duty at the door Lorne and Baltier exited, claimed that the Major stank of wine and was clearly intoxicated. The two accounts completely contradicted each other, so much so that they were dismissed entirely.

Baltier was eventually called up to speak. The Head Protector spoke slowly and clearly. He spun a ridiculous story that Lorne had a little too much to drink and asked to be escorted to the guest quarters. "One thing led to another and Evan voiced his attraction," Baltier shrugged casually. "He consented."

John nearly exploded at the informal use of Lorne's first name. "Consented?! You drugged him, you bastard!" It took all of Ronon's strength to hold back his friend, who fully intended to attack the sandy-haired man before him. It took the threat of being removed from the trial for the Colonel to finally calm down. After that Elizabeth, John, and his team were not allowed to speak.

It was only at the very end of the proceedings that Ronon was called forward as a witness. The Satedan warrior answered all the questions in great detail. He explained the call for help and the subsequent search for the Major. He described the damning position that Baltier was found in. Ronon asserted that the Major was dazed and confused, nearly unconscious. Even if he had not been drugged, Ronon stated, he would not have been in his right mind to consent to anything.

After a brief break, Lord Solove returned to the throne room and gave his verdict. Baltier was to be publicly whipped and imprisoned for a fortnight. "You will no longer bear the burden of Head Protector. You will have to earn your title back."

The sentence had been lenient. Too lenient for such a crime.

Before they could react, the guests were taken back to Elizabeth's quarters. It was there John had almost broken the table. "A flogging! That's all?" He ran his hands through his spiked hair as he paced back and forth. "Lorne was almost raped and they…" John puffed out air angrily, "They took away his title. Big deal. He's still a fucking Protector. Some Protector. Who's to stop him from doing it again?"

"There's not much we can do," Elizabeth voiced. "We have no power here."

"We could always take him back with us," Ronon grunted. "It wouldn't be hard."

Elizabeth sighed. "Tempting, but no. We can't risk it."

"Risk it?" John sneered. "You aren't seriously still thinking of trading with these," he waved his arm around wildly, "these _savages_."

"Of course not!"

Silence fell over the room's occupants.

Elizabeth exhaled deeply. "I believe they only held the trail _because of us_. They clearly did not take what happen to Major Lorne seriously. Somehow I would not be surprised if this has happened in the past." Elizabeth eased herself down into a beautifully furnished chair beside the damaged table. "It was all a show. Lord Solove was just trying to save any trade between our two people." She pressed her lips together, displeased with the turn of events. "No, there is nothing here for us now. Not even the promise of Disrutu stone can remedy that disgusting display of justice."

Ronon stepped closer to his team leader. "I think we should leave."

"Before the punishment?" John frowned. "Not happening. I fully intend to see _that man_ in pain, no matter how little."

"If what Dr. Weir says is true, I doubt they would let us watch," Ronon argued. "Lord Solove probably isn't even planning to put his praised Head Protector through such a public display." The Satedan shook his head. "Think about it, there was barely anyone in the throne room during the trial. Just us and a few advisors. The witnesses were barely in the room to begin with."

"Just a show," John whispered, horrified. "You're right, we should leave. I don't like these guys anymore. Lieutenant Abrams?"

"Sir?"

"Pack up, we're going back to Atlantis."

"Yes, sir."

A half hour later the group was ready to head back to Stargate. A few guards attempted to stop them. The Colonel had ordered his men to expect resistance and to act in kind. Ronon took the order the heart and even knocked down a particularly pushy Protector that tried to detain Elizabeth.

"Dr. Weir!"

John and Ronon whipped around to face Lord Solove. They raised their weapons against the local ruler. Abrams covered their backs while two other Marines protectively surrounded Elizabeth.

"Yes?" Elizabeth sniffed.

"You are leaving?"

"Yes."

"But what of trade?"

"I am cutting off all relations with this planet," she said bluntly. "You have nothing we want."

"But the Disrutu st-"

"Inconsequential."

Lord Solove blinked, clearly not expecting such hostility from his once honored guests. He attempted to step forward but was stopped when John clicked the safety off his P-90. Visibly swallowing, he stepped back and tried again, "There must be something…"

"Baltier."

"What?"

"Give us Baltier," Elizabeth spoke clearly, "Allow us to punish him as we see fit and I will _consider_ reopening negotiations."

"I can't-"

"Then we have nothing to discuss." She turned back around. "An attack on one of my people is an attack on me."

"But-"

Elizabeth continued toward the exit. The group moved to follow their leader. "Ronon?"

"Yeah."

"Shoot anyone who gets in our way."

The Satedan bared his teeth in a feral grin. "With pleasure."

Luckily the rain had stopped, leaving behind a dense fog. The group trudged through the thick mud, burdened under their overnight packs. Fortunately, Ronon led the way so they didn't have to worry about getting lost. But progress was slow. It took at least an hour to get back to the Stargate and dial in.

And, when they passed through the event horizon, they were greeted by a nervous Rodney.

"Back so soon?"

No one responded.

"Sheppard?"

"I don't want to talk about it, McKay."

"It didn't go well?"

John snorted. "You could say that." He clipped the P-90 to the front of his TAC vest. "I have to go see Lorne."

Elizabeth nodded. "I'll try to come by later but first I want to make sure no one else ever returns to PXK-233. It will be marked as a hostile planet in our database."

Rodney huffed as he watched his two friends walk in opposite directions. "What the hell happened?" he demanded.

"Come on," Ronon slung his arm around the shorter man's shoulders. "I'll tell you over a cup of coffee."

 **~o~o~**

 _A/N:_ **Oh, no! With Baltier still on the loose what's Lorne to do? :P**

 **Now this is just the beginning of our little adventure. I hope to have a lot more action in later chapters for our favorite heroes to face. And, don't worry, the Wraith will definitely be making an appearance.**

 **If you guys haven't figured it out yet, I have made the timeline post-"Sunday". Dr. Carson Beckett won't make any appearances in this story, though he will be referenced a few times. In my mind this story takes place in the beginning of season 4. The events of "Doppelganger" have not yet occurred.**

 **A lot of** Lost Among The Stars **switches between John's and Lorne's perspective. They are both equal characters in my mind. As such, I hope to offer a lot character exposition and background in this story.**

 **Please favorite and review! XOXO**

[EDIT: Some material in the first two chapters are adopted from "Everything Sparkles" by Valerie Vancollie. With permission from the author, I have put this disclaimer and utilized the basic plot of the one-shot as exposition for this current story. Obviously, past the very beginning the two stories differ greatly.

Inspiration was also drawn from "Precarious" by MildyInsane.]


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **The reception to this story is very encouraging! I was a little concerned that people might not like my pairing or that people wouldn't be interested in a Lorne-centric story. But, surprisingly, that hasn't been the case.**

 **In truth, I have always loved Major Lorne. He's a secondary character that isn't one dimensional, like so many of the other characters are. Throughout the** Stargate: Atlantis **series you learn little tidbits about him (like that he has a sister or that he grew up in San Francisco). Anyway, I have always enjoyed seeing other people's depictions of Lorne, so I thought I'd finally give it a try.**

 **Well, putting all that aside, I just want to thank everyone who had commented on this story. I love hearing from you. I try to take your suggestions and criticisms into consideration when updating and editing my stories. So please, keep the reviews coming!**

 **Well, without any further ado, here is Chapter 3 of** Lost Among The Stars **. Enjoy!**

[EDIT: this chapter was re-uploaded on 8/1/2018]

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

John slowly trudged into the infirmary. He had briefly stopped in the locker room to take off his gear and change his mud covered boots. He knew we wouldn't be allowed to visit Lorne if Jennifer spotted even a speck of dirt within her domain.

The lanky, dark-haired soldier nodded at the nurse on duty.

"He's sleeping," the nurse informed him. "Try to be gentle."

When John stepped around the privacy curtain he nearly gasped. Lorne was pale, too pale. A ring of dark purples and blues circled around his neck. The outlines of fingers stood out sharply against the marble-like skin. The bruises were only interrupted by a single bite mark along the Major's jugular. In any other situation John would have made a joke about hickeys. But now, it seemed wrong. All wrong.

John watched as Lorne unconsciously licked his chapped lips, his tongue darting in and out.

When they had first found Lorne, drugged and collapsed on the bed, there had been blood all over his cheek, lips, and teeth. At first John had thought him to have internal injuries, fearful he was coughing up blood. But it was soon revealed the blood wasn't his, but rather from his attacker.

The blood has long been whipped away.

A small swell of pride surged in John's chest. Lorne had never stopped fighting, even when he was effectively overpowered. He had still found a way to injure his would-be rapist. Biting Baltier's tongue might have saved him from a horrible fate. It had temporarily stopped the attack, allowing his team to have enough time to rescue him.

But Lorne had always been a fighter, John reminded himself. He never took things sitting down.

Watching the sleeping soldier in front of him, John couldn't help but think back to when Lorne had been kidnapped by Cowen and the Genii.

It was supposed to be a routine mission. Though John had come to learn there was no such thing.

Random violence? An attack by the Wraith? At the time they didn't know. Dr. Lindsay Novak had just rushed back to Atlantis under the Major's orders, not fully understanding what was happening to her military escort. John and his team immediately responded. But all they found was a dying fire, burned bodies, and dog tags.

The Colonel had been overcome by guilt. He let his men down, and now they were dead. Dead and gone. The walk back to the Stargate had been silent. Even Rodney did not complain about the heat or the difficult terrain. And, when they had returned, Elizabeth had the nerve to tell him he would not be leading the investigation - though he did feel slightly better knowing that Ronon and Teyla would do everything in their power to find the truth about what happened to Lorne and his men.

Slightly comforted by that fact, John pushed all feelings aside to go after the ZPM that Ladon Radim had been ransoming. That Genii sneak. It wasn't until he had been gassed and interrogated that he learned of Lorne's fate. He nearly fell over in total disbelief when he first entered the cage.

"So, you come to rescue us?" Dead man talking.

"Until a moment ago, I thought you were dead..."

John spoke the truth. He had tucked the memory Lorne away, putting him in the very back of his mind with the rest of the dead men he served with. Holland. Mitch. Dex. The list went on and on. But the relief of taking a name off that list was overwhelming.

John surveyed his imprisoned soldiers. They wore peasant clothing. Their uniforms long since burned away on the dead bodies of strangers. Lorne's men had been there several days already. Some of the other teams even longer. Most of them looked thin and pale. Several, like Lorne, sported bruises that disappeared under the drab, thread-bare cloth.

With renewed strength and hope of rescue, the men drew toward their commanding officer. It wasn't long before Rodney and the other members of his strike team woke up from the knockout gas. But, before John could think of a plan, Ladon returned to set them free. Adrenaline sent them rushing back to the Stargate, desperate to return to Atlantis before the nuclear bomb exploded and destroyed everything in its path.

When John finally stepped through the event horizon, and the shield was raised, he witnessed Lorne collapse into the open arms of a Marine. The Major was quickly rushed to the infirmary. The Major had suffered the worst of Cowen's experiments because he had the strongest natural gene among the captured group. As such, Lorne was taken from the cage more often than the rest, stuck with needles to drain his blood and beaten when he refused to activate Ancient devices.

John had visited him in the infirmary. But back then Lorne hadn't been sleeping, he had been unconscious. Pain and exhaustion, they told him. He had lost too much blood for the sake of the Genii's gene research.

After Lorne had finally awoken, Ladon visited him and apologize for his treatment. John wasn't too surprised when Lorne forgave his captor.

"Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving someone of their crime. It has to do with relieving yourself of the burden of being a victim, sir… To let go of the pain. To transform from victim to survivor," Lorne told him later.

It was then that John vowed to find a friend in Major Lorne. Before he had simply taken his second in command for granted. Thanking him for the occasional rescue while allowing him to depart on some of the less interesting, but no less important, missions. Plus the man was amazing at paperwork.

But John knew nothing about Lorne. Sure, he had his military and SGC files but there was not much to be said about the integrity of a person from the white bureaucratic documents. Afterall, his own file was more of a soap-opera than a testament to his time in the Air Force.

There was only one black mark in Lorne's file. It was from his time at Stargate Command. A surveyor serving under him - Lieutenant Ritter was his name - had been murdered off-world. The death had been attributed to negligence and carelessness. Lorne's carelessness. But, after an extensive review, General Hammond had permitted Lorne to continue working with his 'gate team, SG-12.

John never held the mark against him. He had enough black marks in his own file to know how crushing the guilt could be.

Confronted with such ignorance about his second in command, the Colonel began asking around about the Major. Soldiers and scientists alike had nothing but good things to say about Lorne. He was polite and a good conversationalist. One particularly talkative botanist even admitted to having a crush on the man.

In the end, it was Dr. Radek Zelenka that was able to give him some answers. The Czech scientist usually worked closely with Lorne both on and off-world. The two shared a similar relationship to the one John shared with Rodney, though less bickering was involved.

If Radek had been surprised that John was asking questions about Lorne he didn't show it. It was through him that John learned that the Major knew how to fight with a Jaffa Staff Weapon. He was one of a select few to be taught by Teal'c while at the SGC. Unfortunately, the Atlantis expedition did not possess such weapon. Radek, however, was able to tell John that Lorne still continued to practice with a three-quarter staff while off-duty. The Major had even gone as far to give lessons to some interested Marines during his down time.

Armed with this information, John had snuck into one of Lorne's training sessions and was able to watch for several minutes before anyone noticed him.

"Care to join us, sir?"

"Not at all, Major. I'm just interested in the capabilities of my men."

Needless to say, John was impressed. Lorne moved with such grace and ease that he could make any seasoned warrior jealous. Suddenly John wished to witness the Major with the powerful Jaffa weapon. The Colonel could only assume he wielded it with as much deadly accuracy as he did a P-90. After the lesson was over John invited Lorne to his private sparring sessions with Ronon and Teyla.

"We could use some new talent in the ring. I'm tired of getting my ass kicked." John grinned when Lorne hesitated. "Bring your staff and they won't know what hit them."

Slowly the two soldiers began to hang out more and more. They trained together and sometimes ate together, emergencies permitting of course. John found Lorne to be thoughtful, loyal, and composed. He was an excellent leader who could make the hard decisions for the betterment of the mission. He also had easily earned the respect of those serving under him.

John envied Lorne's ability to move about the ranks. Other soldiers didn't often approach the Colonel with their questions and concerns. They were too easily cowed by the craziness of his plans or the standoffish presence his team exuded. As such, it was Lorne who was usually called to settle disputes among the masses. Radek even got him to respond to disturbances among the scientists, at least the ones that couldn't be handled by Rodney's big mouth.

Over the months John learned more and more about the man who was his second in command. Lorne's sarcasm rivaled that of his own. And he was smart. Not MENSA smart like John or Rodney, but he had a firm grasp on the softer sciences and most languages. Lorne excelled at learning Ancient. While he couldn't speak it or read it as fluently as the linguists - they were the best of the best after all - he could read instructions on devices and warnings around doorways. Such abilities came in handy on a mission more than once.

Also, Lorne could paint. Interestingly enough, it was Ronon that told John about the Major's artistic hobby. The Satedan had found out sometime after that fateful Sunday when the Atlantis expedition had lost Dr. Carson Beckett. Lorne had sent the painting he made that day back with Carson's body to Scotland. Ronon said it was a gift for Carson's mother, an apology of sorts.

Since then Lorne had kept painting. There was evidence of this when a fairly large canvas sporting a blood red battle scene appeared in Ronon's room. The Satedan warrior had loved it, hanging it proudly above his bed. Only a select few were also gifted paintings from the Major. Among those few were Radek and Dr. David Parrish, another scientist that Lorne was friendly with. John was secretly disappointed that he never got a painting for himself.

John's team lunches grew more crowded. Lorne ate with them more frequently, often joined by Radek or David. And then, eventually, John's curiosity evolved into something else. Yes, the two soldiers shared respect and appreciation for each other, but somewhere along the line John found himself falling in love with Lorne.

Yes, John had been previously been married but that hadn't turned out too well. He loved Nancy, but not romantically. He did it more to get back into his father's good graces than for the domestic homelife. In terms of sexuality, John never really labeled himself. He had had many girlfriends and boyfriends in the past. Who was he to judge? You love who you love.

Love.

He loved Lorne. This realization was only solidified during their latest mission on PXK-233.

When John had heard Lorne's weak calls for help over his earpiece during the feast, his heart stuttered to a stop. He had immediately dropped his drink and stood up from his seat to search for the Major. Lieutenant Abrams and Teyla took charge of Elizabeth's safety while John, Rodney, and Ronon rushed to Lorne's aid. John didn't know what was happening, which terrified him. Lorne was missing, drugged. Taken from under their noses. The Colonel didn't know what to expect. Was it a solo attack? Coordinated? Were they all in danger, or just Lorne? John feared that the other members of his team would also be incapacitated. They had to be careful.

Thanks to Rodney's quick thinking, they were able to boost their radio signals, allowing them to track Lorne throughout the twisting hallways of the castle. While they searched John could hear Lorne's heavy breathing, the sound of his stumbling, and scared quake in his voice when he mumbled the name of the former Genii leader, Cowen. Occasionally another strange voice would join his. The kidnapper's voice. What was said, whispered in private, disturbed John. Promises of carnal desire. Obscenities and assurances of lustful undertakings. As the seconds flew by, John became more and more certain of Lorne's possible fate.

He tried talking to the Major, but received no response. It was then that all the noises from Lorne's earpiece just stopped. Several minutes later Rodney found Lorne's headset on the ground in the middle of a corridor.

John had taken out his LSD, temporarily forgetting the disruptive properties of the castle walls. Curse that Disrutu stone! As such, it took another minute until Ronon could pick up the trail again. The Satedan tracker finally led them to a locked door several turns away from the discarded earpiece.

When Ronon had kicked down the door nothing could have prepared John for the sight before him. Lorne lay, unmoving, half naked, on a bed with his kidnapper straddling his waist. One of the man's large hands closed around the Major's throat while the other gently stroked the drugged soldier's bare chest. The rapist's exposed erection proudly lay across Lorne's belly button.

John had surged forward, ripping the man off Lorne. The kidnapper flailed and hit Lorne. The Colonel's orders to Rodney and Ronon mingled with the sandy-haired man's surprised shouts. John vaguely remembered the sounds of vomiting while he effectively restrained the rapist with some carefully placed strikes. Leaving Rodney to guard the now unconscious man, John rushed over to the Satedan who was carefully checking over Lorne.

"Ronon? Is he alright?"

Lorne tensed at the sound of John's voice, his eyes snapping open in fear. His glazed eyes rolled around in his head until they made contact with the Colonel. A flash a recognition allowed the Major to relax.

"Yeah, he's fine. We got here in time. He got his shirt off but that seems to be all."

John nodded, focusing back at the nearly unconscious soldier. "Major? Lorne, are you still with us?" He gently tapped the bloody cheek.

It was then that Lorne finally passed out.

The rest of the night was a blur. Elizabeth was informed of the situation and she gave them permission to take the Major back to Atlantis for medical attention. Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney had joined their team leader on the long trip back to the Stargate while the rest of Lorne's team and Elizabeth stayed on PXK-233 to help secure the attacker.

During the whole trip back, Lorne remained unresponsive. Rodney reassured them it was most likely the drug's fault. Jennifer had greeted them in the control room, ready to escort her patient to the infirmary. Despite Ronon's earlier assessment, John privately ordered Jennifer to test Lorne with a Rape Kit.

It came back negative.

The team kept watch until Lorne woke up the next day. Several people came to visit the Major, including Radek, David, and the pretty botanist. The latter left a vase of flowers from her lab. Thankfully, John was able to keep the nature of the attack confidential. He knew that the whole of Atlantis didn't need to know that Major Lorne was almost raped while off-world.

Much to John's relief, Lorne was awake and talking when he finally made it back to the infirmary after stepping out to grab a coffee from the cafeteria with Ronon and Rodney. But his alleviation didn't last long. Lorne had suffered an anxiety attack and didn't seem to remember much of the events about the previous day. John didn't know if that was a blessing or a curse. Lorne had been scared, terrified about what might have happened.

Luckily, John and his team were able to settle any doubts in the man's mind.

Then it was John's turn to be frightened. In a compelling moment of love - though some would say weakness - he went to hug Lorne. The Major had reacted violently, pushing John away with such unexpected force that he almost didn't catch himself on the chair beside the bed. His scent, of all things, triggered another flashback.

Horrified, John had remained at the back of the group for the remainder of the visit. He did not visit Lorne again before departing to PXK-233 for the trial that morning.

"Sir?"

Lorne finally stirred, snapping John out of this thoughts. His eyes slowly blinked open as they chased away the fogginess of sleep. Struggling to sit up, Lorne smacked his dry, cracked lips.

"Want some water, Major?"

"Yes, thank you," he replied. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down when he swallowed. The bruises on his neck danced in the infirmary's bright lighting.

Taking back the empty cup, John waited a good distance from the bed before stating, "I have bad news."

Lorne's head snapped up and John mentally winced at his own bluntness.

"What happened?"

John pursed his lips. "The trial did not go as expected," he said diplomatically. When Lorne didn't respond immediately, the Colonel continued, "The whole thing was just some sick show. It turns out Lord Solove never really intended to punish his _precious_ Head Protector. He was sentenced to a flogging and a few days in prison, which we doubt was even carried out. We left the planet before anything happened. Elizabeth has effectively cut all relations with PXK-233."

"S-so he's still out there?"

John's gazed softened. "I'm sorry, Lorne."

The Major buried his face in his hands. His breath shuttered. "Thank you for telling me in person, sir. But I think I would like to be alone now."

"You sure? I could wait if you'd like."

"No."

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow."

And, respecting the man's wishes, John left the infirmary.

 **~o~o~**

Lorne was released from the infirmary a few hours later. While Jennifer gave him a clean bill of health, he was ordered to visit Dr. Kate Heightmeyer, Atlantis' resident psychiatrist, before he could go back to active duty.

Wanting to get it over with, Lorne made his way to Kate's office.

"Ah, Major Lorne, how are you?"

"I've been better."

Kate's lip quirked in a half smile. "Yes, I suppose you have. Shall we get started? I don't want to keep you from your duties for too long."

"I appreciate it, Dr. Heightmeyer."

Lorne moved fully into the pleasantly decorated room. It was not his first time in her office. He had been there briefly after his time with the Genii. While that had been almost a year prior, the office had not changed much. The door automatically slid shut behind him, blocking out any and all noise from the hallway beyond. Kate finally settled down in a cream colored chair in front of her desk. Lorne purposely forwent the plush seat by the door as he moved to take the uncomfortable metal chair across from her. If the Doctor noticed his choice in seating she didn't comment.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?"

Lorne looked at her skeptically. "What do you already know?"

"That doesn't matter," she waved her hand dismissively. "What matters is what _you_ are comfortable with sharing."

The Major sighed and leaned back in his chair, contemplating where to start. "I was supposed to be on sentry duty," he eventually said, "but I let my guard down. I still don't really know how it happened, or when. But one moment I was talking with-" Lorne paused, unwilling to say the name.

Kate waited patiently for him to continue. She didn't interrupt or ask questions.

When he recomposed himself, Lorne started again. "One moment I was talking to him and then I was being pulled down a hallway. I remember stopping a few times… I think I fell at one point. He was really handsy, kept groping and kissing me." Lorne scratched at the bite mark on his neck absentmindedly. "He left me alone for a moment and I was able to radio for help. I knew Colonel Sheppard and the team was on their way but the drugs were making me confused. There's a big chunk of time missing from when I called for help to when I wound up in that room."

"I must have told him my name because he kept calling me 'Evan'. No one calls me by my first name except my mom and my sister," the Major shrugged. Getting back on track he spoke, "He started kissing me again, but I pushed him away. The drugs were really messing with head at that point. I eventually was lifted into a bed and he straddled me. That's when I recall biting his tongue. He got angry. He wasn't so gentle after that. He hit me and ripped off my shirt. Or maybe he got my shirt off then hit me, I'm not too sure." Lorne scrubbed his hands over his face. "Anyway, he did some stuff and when I tried to fight him off he choked me. It wasn't too long after Sheppard arrived with the cavalry."

"Nothing happened," Lorne asserted, meeting Kate's critical eye. "I would have remembered. And Ronon promised me nothing happened."

"I don't think what happened to you was nothing."

"We didn't have sex."

"Sex implies consent."

"Fine then, he didn't rape me."

"The group came back from PXK-233 several hours ago. Did you talk to anyone from the team?"

Lorne slightly shifted in his seat, making himself more comfortable before stating, "Yeah, Colonel Sheppard came and saw me in the infirmary. He told we the outcome of the trial."

"And how do you feel about the outcome?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," Kate nodded. She tried a different topic to open the conversation back up. "Dr. Keller noted that the drug you were slipped causes retrograde amnesia." Tapping her chin, she asked, "Have you had any flashbacks? Nightmares?"

"No nightmares," Lorne answered honestly. "But I had two panic attacks shortly after I woke up back on Atlantis."

"What do you think caused them?"

"Well, I had the first one right after I woke up. I was scared and confused. I didn't immediately remember what happened so I panicked. Colonel Sheppard calmed me down. He told me everyone was safe. That I was safe. He told me what happened."

"And the second time?"

Lorne looked down at his lap, embarrassed. "I didn't- It wasn't his fault…"

"Major Lorne?"

"Coffee and peppermint." He glanced up, hands twisting together anxiously. "Sheppard smells like coffee and peppermint. A-and he smelled like coffee and peppermint. I just wasn't prepared for it. McKay said scent is the most powerful memory trigger." Fisting his hands into his pants, Lorne grimaced. "I just couldn't handle it so soon after the incident."

"That's understandable," Kate hummed. "Was this similarly a problem during the assault?"

"Yeah." He shivered. "And that's the ridiculous part. I distinctly remember Sheppard being there. But I knew he couldn't have been. I thought he..." Lorne trailed off. "It's all very frustrating," he admitted.

Sensing his reluctance, the Doctor stood and moved toward her desk. "I know this is difficult, but I appreciate your honesty and openness. You seem to have a firm grasp on the events during your mission, as traumatic as they were." Lorne's eyes followed her casual movements. Pen in hand, she began writing on a slip of paper. When she finished she approached the Major. "Many people in your position would be in denial, but you are not. To be frank, it's very comforting."

Kate lowered herself down to perch on the edge of the small table before Lorne. "In terms of Colonel Sheppard, I know you both work together regularly. If you'd like, I can approach him as a third party and perhaps recommend some new shampoo. It would help with any flashbacks in the future, particularly those that might happen in the field."

"That's very thoughtful, Dr. Heightmeyer, but completely unnecessary," Lorne commented. "The first time just caught me unawares."

"Very well." She handed him the form she signed earlier on her desk. "I'm going to put you back on active duty. I cannot, in right conscious, allow Atlantis to be without you for any extended period of time. Who knows what would happen?" Kate joked.

Lorne shyly smiled, but he didn't refute her claim.

"But promise me, if you have any nightmares or flashbacks you'll come see me?"

"Yes, ma'am." Lorne accepted the slip of paper and stood. Relief crept through him. The session wasn't as bad a he thought it'd be. Collecting himself, Lorne made his way toward the door. Foregoing the control panel, his natural ATA gene willed the door open. And, with a familiar hiss, freedom was within sight.

"Major Lorne?"

Lorne slightly turned, glancing over his shoulder to look at Kate. "Yes, Dr. Heightmeyer?"

"What's his name?"

He blinked. "Excuse me?"

"You never said his name."

"Baltier," Lorne paused. "He's the Head Protector."

And with that he left, hopeful never to return.

 **~o~o~**

 _A/N:_ **Wow, I really laid the angst on thick this chapter! With such a psychological trauma, I wanted to really accurately depict Lorne's struggle with the attack and the lack of closure he was able to receive as best I could. I don't want Lorne to be completely okay with what happened to him, and I definitely wanted the events of PXK-233 to have an effect of his character in this story. As such, don't be too surprised when he sees Dr. Kate Heightmeyer again in future chapters. (As a side note, I always thought it was so important to show the characters in the** Stargate: Atlantis **series struggling with their many missions and off-world encounters. The inclusion of a psychologist in the series, no matter how brief, was monumental as many shows don't depict such mental anguish without it becoming a point of weakness for the character.)**

 **Anyway, now we're getting a little momentum going. I felt this chapter offered a bit of exposition behind my characterization of Lorne. I want him to be loyal and dependable, but not entirely dimwitted or two-dimensional like he is often portrayed. A lot of the background information and personality that I gave Lorne is a mixture of canon and ideas of my own creation. In the following chapters I will continue to add background (for both Lorne and John) so that you guys can get to know the characters as I know them in my head. That being said, comments and suggestions are always welcome.**

 **Well, until next time! XOXO**

 **(Please Favorite, Follow, and Review! Thanks!)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **MINI RANT:** **I find it so interesting that Lorne's first name has never been mentioned on screen, but was printed on his F-302 fighter-interceptor flight suit in "First Strike" - though it was later confirmed by** Stargate SG-1 **executive producer Joseph Mallozzi that it was Evan. I have read a few fanfics that call him Marcus or Stephen and such, but I would have to assume that was before the reveal of Lorne's first name in canon. As you can tell, I have, of course, decided to keep the official name in my story. Major Evan Lorne just seems to have a better ring to it.**

 **In this chapter, Lorne goes through the motions of a typical day in Atlantis (emergencies and missions notwithstanding). It's a real slice-of-life kind of feel. I also added more secondary characters from canon to the story, such as Radek Zelenka and David Parrish.**

 **On a side note, I just wanted to thank you all again for your reviews, I really enjoy reading them. They really inspire me to keep writing. Thank you again!**

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

It was a new day.

Lorne rose with his alarm. And, after a quick but warm shower, the Major headed to the cafeteria for a simple breakfast before tackling some overdue reports in his office. Not feeling particularly hungry, he only grabbed a plain bowl of oatmeal and some Pegasus-native fruit. Tentatively taking a bite, he was pleased to learn the fruit tasted much like an apple, even though it looked more like a mango.

After only being detained once to settle a dispute about training equipment, Lorne made it to his office with little interference. Well, honestly speaking, it wasn't only his office. He shared the space with John. But his commanding officer was rarely there, opting to do his own paperwork in the confines of his private quarters.

As such, Lorne was glad when he arrived to find the office empty. He wasn't sure if he could face people just yet. The memory of his attack was still too fresh in his mind and he didn't need the constant reminders or well-wishes that small talk usually provided.

He also particularly didn't want to see John. The Colonel always knew the right thing to say to get the Major to open up. It was one of the many reasons that Lorne felt so comfortable around John. Most of his past commanding officers were stiff and unapproachable. John, on the other hand, defied all previous experience. The reluctant leader was laid-back, sarcastic, and open to suggestion. He never had a hard time striking up a conversation. While this trait was admirable, it also made John very good at interrogation and manipulation. Lorne witnessed friend and foe alike being lulled into a false sense of self-confidence, admitting to secrets or personal tidbits around the Colonel. And, right now, that was the last thing Lorne wanted to do. Who knows what he might let slip?

Two hours later, after rereading and editing reports for the IOA, Lorne sighed and leaned back. His hand was beginning to cramp. Standing and stretching, he circled the perimeter of the room. Making a final circuit, Lorne couldn't help but yawn. He didn't suffer from any nightmares the night before but, then again, he didn't really sleep too well to begin with. But no one needed to know that.

Figuring he just needed a cup of coffee, Lorne left the office and headed toward the labs. Radek's workspace had the best coffee maker in Atlantis. Even Rodney acknowledged the fact and was often found coming to "check up on his incompetent second in command. Oh, is that a fresh pot of coffee?" whenever he had the chance.

However, when he got there, the Major was surprised to find the lab empty. Assuming that Radek was in a meeting or exploring some sector of the city, Lorne helped himself the last cup of coffee before setting about to make a fresh pot for his friend.

Reaching down into the not-so-secret false drawer, Lorne pulled out the bag of fresh grounds. The were a special dark roast that the Czech scientist had shipped to him almost every _Daedalus_ supply run. And, no matter how much people begged him, Radek would not reveal the source of the amazing coffee grounds. Lorne speculated that they were being sent by one of his many siblings.

As Lorne went to open it, he spied a note attached to the front. It was addressed to him. Lorne smiled when he recognized the Czech's handwriting. The note was simple. It read, "Lorne, have as much coffee as you want, you deserve it. I should be back from my meeting by lunchtime. If you're available I want your expertise on some device translations and activations. If you help me I'll make you dinner."

Lorne grinned. Believe it or not, the Czech was a _very_ good cook. Those who were able to partake in his culinary excellence vowed they had never tasted anything more delicious. One of his meals was definitely worth the hours of being a guinea pig.

Glancing at his watch, Lorne made his decision to stay until his friend returned. He put the note aside and picked up his abandoned mug of coffee. Glancing around the workspace he spotted an Ancient device he'd never seen before. Assuming it the be the device Radek mentioned in the note, he walked over to examine it. Standing at a safe distance, taking care not to touch it or think any 'on-like' thoughts, the Major began to read over some of the symbols. Humming to himself, he took a sip of his hot beverage before moving over to read the handwritten notations about the device. He was so immersed in reading Radek's theories that he didn't hear the door hiss open.

"Major Lorne? What are you doing in here?"

Lorne glanced up from the notebook to spy Rodney enter the room. "Hey," he gave a small smile in greeting, "I'm just waiting for Radek."

The scientist sniffed. "Whatever for?"

"He wants to borrow my gene for a while," the soldier shrugged.

Rodney opened his mouth to ask another question but was interrupted when John bounded into the lab. "Hey, Rodney! Were you just pulling my leg before, or did you really find a machine that can convert someone's thoughts into a solid object?"

"Of course I was joking. Honestly, the very idea is absurd. It's impossible! You can't make something from nothing."

"But you do it all the time!"

Lorne snorted, hardly able to contain his mirth at the two before him. John and Rodney turned their attention to the Major. The former slightly surprised to see him there, while the latter simply glared.

John grinned. "Lorne! Good to see you out of the infirmary."

"Good to be out, sir."

"You here for the coffee?" He nodded to the mug in the Major's hand.

Rodney shook his head and answered for him. "No, Zelenka wants to use his ATA gene."

"And you came willingly?" John asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, in exchange for my good genes, he did promise to cook me dinner."

Rodney frowned, his brow scrunched up in confusion. "Zelenka cooks?"

"Yes, _he_ does," a new voice responded. The group turned around to witness Radek enter his workspace. "And you should know that Rodney. I have invited you to dinner many times."

Rodney folded his arms, shaking his head in disbelief. "Really? When?"

"Last night," the Czech scientist deadpanned.

John barked a quick laugh while Rodney looked put out. "Oh."

Radek shook his head. Placing his personal tablet on a stool, he announced, "Now, if you're here for coffee, please take some and get out. I have important work to do."

"Sure thing, doc!" John said as he beelined toward the fresh pot Lorne made. Topping off his cup with a generous amount of sugar, John waved and followed Rodney out of the lab.

Once they were alone, Lorne turned to his friend. "Did you really invite McKay to dinner last night?"

Radek snorted. "Of course not. He would eat all my food."

Lorne chuckled. Putting aside his mug, he asked, "So what do you need me to do, doc?"

The two labored for several hours. Miraculously, neither man was called away to handle any emergencies, so they were able to work undisturbed. As such, they forwent eating lunch knowing full well that their dinner would be filling enough. Radek, with Lorne's help, was eventually able to determine the purpose of the device. It was a clock. When voice activated it could tell someone the current time of any planet in it database. While it wasn't exactly what they were hoping for - Radek thought it to be a translator while Lorne hoped it to be a weapon - they chalked up the experiment to a success. Afterall, nothing exploded.

Turning off all the lights, Radek and Lorne left the lab by early evening. They swung by Lorne's office to pick up some paperwork before continuing to Radek's private quarters. While the Czech scientist busied himself with making dinner, the Major settled down at the kitchen table to finish the reports he had neglected earlier.

Just as Lorne signed the last form, the door chimed. Radek went over to admit Dr. David Parrish and Lieutenant Laura Cadman inside. Smiling, Lorne accepted the hug from the female soldier while he made due with a hearty handshake from the botanist.

"I invited them," Radek explained. "I hope you don't mind."

"The more, the merrier," the Major grinned.

The four settled down into a comfortable conversations about the goings-on around Atlantis. While they briefly asked Lorne about the events that happened on PXK-233, he was able to deflect most of the questions and answer as vaguely as possible. He laughed off the attack as best he could. But his friends could tell he just didn't want to talk about it. And so, respecting his wishes, they changed the topic. David excitedly told him about some new plant discoveries he made on the mainland that had properties to cure some forms of benign tumors. Laura was eager to discuss a new high velocity rocket that the engineering team built that was designed to take down a Wraith dart in one shot.

Eventually dinner was served. The food was delicious and the company enjoyable.

It was a nice, quiet evening until Rodney showed up. The balding scientist tried making excuses about needing Radek to check his calculations but they all knew he was just nosing about in an attempt to coerce an invitation to dinner.

"I know you need my help, Rodney," Radek sighed. "But can't it wait until tomorrow."

Rodney sneered. "I don't _need_ your help…"

"Then why are you even asking?"

Laura giggled while David and Lorne shared an amused look.

Finally noticing that the dinner party had grown, the scientist huffed. "Cadman? Parrish? What are you doing here?"

" _We_ were invited," Laura slyly spoke.

"Yes, well, I-"

"Rodney?"

He turned back to face Radek. "Hmm?"

"See you tomorrow," the Czech said before promptly closing the door in his superior's face.

It wasn't before they heard a squawk of indignation and the sound of stomping feet through the door that the group of friends burst into a fit of laughter.

"Did you see his face!"

"Like he'd ever admit he needs your help!"

"Absolutely childish!"

Radek's shoulders shook with mirth. "Oh, my." He whipped away a tear. "That was worth all the trouble I'll be getting in the morning."

They continued to make jokes at Rodney's expense while they helped clear the table and wash the dishes. Radek packed up the extra food into containers for each person to take with them. While Laura and David left, Lorne picked up his finished paperwork and thanked Radek a second time.

"Thanks for dinner, doc," he smiled. "I really needed it."

Knowing the Major was referring to more than just the food, the scientist nodded. "Anytime, my friend."

And so, sharing a final pat on the back, Lorne left the room and headed down the corridor toward the nearest transporter. Hitting the desired button, he was instantly taken to the other side of the tower. A few minutes later he found himself in front of John's door. And, ringing the bell, he waited.

The door easily slide open, revealing the relaxed Colonel. "Lorne?"

"Sir," he nodded.

"Come on in," his commanding officer said, moving aside to let him in.

The door hissed closed behind them.

"I have some paperwork you should look over before tomorrow's meeting with Dr. Weir. I filled out all the appropriate forms," he passed over the stack of papers to John. "You just need to sign them, sir."

"Oh, I could kiss you!" John exclaimed as he went to put the paperwork on his already overcrowded desk.

Luckily the Colonel's back was turned or he would have witnessed the deep blush that sprouted on Lorne's cheeks. The very thought of kissing the handsome soldier made the Major tingly. He had suffered for nearly a year with a crush on John. And for the man to suggest making out, even in jest, was almost too much for Lorne.

Attempting to compose himself, Lorne retorted, "If you insist, sir. But people will talk."

John snorted. "People do little else."

"Yes, sir. Good night, sir."

"G'night, Lorne."

Entering the hallway the Major almost ran into a very flustered Rodney. The scientist looked haggard and overworked. Lorne didn't notice it before, but then again he had been too busy trying not the laugh. Feeling sorry for the man, Lorne gave Rodney his leftovers. "Next time," he advised, "just ask."

Rodney gapped. "I- well, you see…" he sputtered.

"You're welcome," the Major smirked before strutting down the corridor and round the corner until he arrived at his own private quarters.

Locking the door behind him, Lorne slumped over to his dresser and picked out a worn pair of sweatpants and t-shirt to wear to bed. After changing out of the BDUs, he brushed his teeth and washed his face. He stumbled out of the bathroom and turned off the lights. Collapsing into his bed, exhaustion hit him full force. It had been a long day.

Lorne settled down in his bed, snuggling into the warm covers. Taking out his earpiece he turned it to full volume and placed it on his nightstand. He prayed he wouldn't be needed until the morning.

Soon he was fast asleep.

 **~o~o~**

" _You're different from the others…_ "

Lorne woke with a gasp.

The Major shivered. He was wet and cold. Why was he wet? Blinking away the fogginess of sleep, Lorne looked about. He wasn't in his room. No, he was on a balcony overlooking the grand spires of Atlantis. How did he get outside?

A harsh wind whipped at his short hair, blowing rain into his face.

Lorne breathed in shakily. He glanced down at his watch. Three hours had passed. Three short hours since he had fallen asleep in his room. Panic coiled in his gut. What had happened? Was he drugged again? No, impossible. He would have remembered.

He grimaced. There was only one other explanation: he had started sleepwalking again. Lorne signed. He hadn't sleepwalked since he was ten-years-old. It stopped shortly after the death of his father.

Lorne didn't remember what he had been dreaming about. Though when sleepwalking was involved he never did. It must have been a nightmare, he deduced. Why else would he have suddenly started wandering about in his sleep again?

The Major shook his head, clearing the water from his eyes. Tears or rain, he didn't really know. Nor did it really matter.

He'd better go see Kate. He promised to visit her if he had any nightmares or flashbacks. Maybe, if he asked, she could get Jennifer to prescribe him some sleeping pills.

Moving carefully, as not to slip of the wet surface in his bare feet, Lorne exited the balcony.

Collecting his bearings, Lorne was surprised to notice that he was on the East Pier. Without using a transporter, it would have taken him at least an hour to walk to the balcony he woke up on. Violently shivering, he wrapped his arms around his wet torso and shuffled down Atlantis' long corridor. It was still late at night and the hallways were empty. At any other time Lorne would have been concerned by the lack of night patrol. But now, he didn't mind.

Eventually finding a transporter, Lorne stepped in. The wetness on his face was back. Definitely tears. Sniffing, and scrubbing at his face, he stepped out on his appointed floor. Not bothering to look around, he started to make his way back to his quarters.

Then a bang suddenly sounded behind him. Lorne quickly spun around, his hand flying to his thigh in search of this firearm. Of course, it wasn't there. Heart pounding and eyes wide, Lorne looked for the source of the noise.

"H-hello?" He winced, his voice sounded raw and breathy.

The Major waited. And, when no one responded and the noise echoed back into silence, Lorne relaxed and continued on his way. Once in his room he quickly stripped down and hopped into the shower. The warm water rolled off his back, down his legs, and curled around his toes. Grabbing a washcloth, Lorne roughly scrubbed his neck and chest, trying to wipe away any memories that tried to force their way to the surface.

Wrinkled and red skinned, the Major finally redressed himself in dry clothing. Knowing Kate wouldn't be up for several more hours, Lorne settle back into his bed.

But sleep refused to come. The blankets felt too heavy on his waist. The darkness was suffocating. The slight breeze felt like breathe on his exposed cheek. The rustle of fabric on his skin felt like wandering fingers.

So he just lay there, staring at the ceiling until the sun came up.

 **~o~o~**

"Sleepwalking? Are you sure?"

"It hasn't happened in years, but I recognize the feeling."

"You had these problems in the past?"

"Yeah, when I was a kid."

Kate nodded, making a note on her pad. "And you don't remember your dream?"

"No," Lorne sighed. "Though it's not surprising, I could never remember anything in the past."

"Well, despite your previous history, it's interesting that you would begin sleepwalking again. Usually sleepwalking is connected to sleep deprivation, stress, depression, and anxiety," Kate examplined, "not traumatic events."

Lorne peered at her and pursed his lips. Noting his expression, the Doctor continued, "Not to say your experience on PXK-233 wasn't a factor... it's just probably not a symptom."

"If you say so."

"Now, have you been sleeping well? Or been experiencing any personal or work-related stress?"

"No, and I'm not depressed either," Lorne all but snapped.

Kate raised her eyebrows in slight apprehension. "No need to be defensive, Major."

He frowned. "I'm not defensive, just frustrated." Lorne roughly ran his hands through his hair and down his face.

The Doctor hummed, turning back to her notepad. "Now, I can have Dr. Keller prescribe you a mild sedative, possibly mixed with a muscle relaxant, to help you sleep."

"I would appreciate that, Dr. Heightmeyer."

She smiled, scratching out the medical request. "Sleeping pills can only do so much. I want you to come back if you continue sleepwalking. Sometimes medicine can aggravate an already present condition." Receiving a nod in confirmation, Kate continued, "Alright, now take this to the infirmary." She handed him a prescription form from her notepad. "Let's give it a try for three nights. If the pills don't work then we might have to try something else, including more counseling."

Lorne sighed heavily, "I understand."

"Off you go," she smiled, shooing him out of her office. "I hope I don't have to see you again for a long while."

The Major laughed. "That makes two of us!" he called over his shoulder.

Lorne swung by the control room on his way to the infirmary. He arrived just time time to see the Stargate shut down. There were no new arrivals on the platform so the Major had to assume that there had been an unscheduled check-in or that a team had just departed. Furrowing his brow in confusion, he addressed one of the Marines on guard. "Unscheduled check-in?"

"Yes, sir," the Marine responded. "Colonel Sheppard reported in and requested backup to aid in a search and rescue."

"Did he lose McKay again?"

The soldier suppressed a smirk. "No, sir. The village they were visiting was abandoned. There was no sign of Wraith activity so they needed help locating the locals."

Lorne grunted, dismayed that he wasn't notified that a team was being put together. Usually he was called to aid John and his team. But, according to regulation, he wasn't supposed to be off-world whenever John was. It was his job as second in command to stay on Atlantis and oversee the military contingent. Emergencies were the only exception.

Lorne thanked the Marine before continuing on to see Jennifer. She prescribed him the proper drugs and sent him on his way. Lorne appreciated that she didn't ask too many questions.

He was able to drop off the pill bottle in his room before he was needed to give gun lecture and training to the newest batch of recruits. While everyone carried handguns, P-90s were their weapon of choice against the Wraith. And some of the soldiers were inexperienced with using P-90s. The semi-automatic machine gun was fairly light but had a severe kick-back. When he arrived at the firing range he was pleased to see everyone was in attendance. Lieutenant Abrams, a member of his own team, just finished handing out the safety gear and assigning everyone a partner for the duration of the exercise.

Two hours later Lorne dismissed the group. He felt confident that the new soldiers were now competent enough to use the powerful weapon. After seeing all the equipment was properly stowed away, the Major swung by the labs to grab Radek for lunch. The Czech scientist gladly went with him. They made small talk during their walk to the cafeteria. Radek was happy that Rodney was off-world and not bothering him. Lorne smiled at his friend while loading his tray with some fruit and an egg-salad sandwich.

Lorne was eventually called away to respond to a small fire that broke out in the lower levels. Luckily, the flames were easily put out. A cigarette butt was found to be the source of the blaze. Someone hadn't put it out properly and it had set some dirty rags on fire.

The Major reported the incident to Elizabeth over his headset. Cigarettes were banned on Atlantis while other substances, like beer, were tightly regulated. They couldn't have their personnel incapacitated or unhealthy while the Wraith lurked about. Elizabeth speculated the likelihood of contraband entering the city, possibly with other supplies from the _Daedalus_. She immediately tasked Lorne to investigate the matter.

And so, for the rest of the day, Lorne poured over inventory files in his office. David was able to pull him away for a brief dinner but in no time he was back. Lorne was frustrated. All the paperwork seemed to be in order. Lorne assumed that either someone had listed contraband under different name or an individual simply had a stash from Earth that they were partaking in. After dinner Lorne decided to cover all his bases and sent a city-wide notice to all personnel, reminding them of certain banned items. He made it perfectly clear that if someone stepped forward about the fire they would not be punished.

Not a half hour later a squirrelly looking female scientist knocked on his door. Lorne didn't recognize the women, so he guessed her to be one of Rodney's newest recruits. Without so much as an introduction the scientist promptly began to apologize. She claimed ownership of the wayward cigarette. She was crying and blubbering, begging not to be sent back to Earth. Lorne was speechless. He finally collected himself and passed her a box of tissues and asked her to sit down and explain. The woman told him that she was trying to quit but she found a half smoked pack in her bag a few days ago. She meant to throw them out but Rodney got to her first. He had yelled at her for shoddy work, bringing her to tears - not an impossible, or even an uncommon, occurrence. In her stressed state she snuck out to smoke in the lower levels. The scientist claimed she she didn't mean to start a fire. In fact, she didn't even know what happened until she received Lorne's email. She couldn't express just how regretful she was.

Lorne, feeling sorry for the woman, immediately forgave her. The fire wasn't too big and had been easily put out. He promised not to sent her back on the _Daedalus_. Her tears of shame quickly turned into tears of joy. Lorne asked for the remaining cigarettes and the scientist promptly handed them over. Thanking him again and again, the scientist left shortly after, the tissue box tucked underneath her arm.

Mystery solved.

Glad that it was an isolated event, Lorne sent his final report to Elizabeth.

Later that evening, long after the stars had come out, the Major finally made his way back to his private quarters. He was exhausted. Quickly changing, Lorne fell into bed. He dropped his earpiece on the side table. Reaching over, he grabbed the sleeping pills he had put there earlier. Dry swallowing two, Lorne rolled over until falling into a dreamless sleep.

 **~o~o~**

A/N: **Another chapter done! As I continue to write, the chapters seem be be getting longer and longer. As such, I have started to split them up, this chapter used to be almost double in length but then I chopped it in half to make it more manageable.**

 **As you probably noticed, I focus a lot on Lorne's everyday life on Atlantis. I really wanted to exhibit of some of his duties that he would encounter when not off-world or on missions, including some of the not-so-exciting responsibilities (such as paperwork).**

 **I also wanted to establish a friend-base for Lorne, including characters such as Radek Zelenka, Laura Cadman, and David Parrish. It' safe to say that Lorne, a secondary character in the series, would be friends with other such secondary characters. Besides, all of these characters all have at least one interaction on screen together, particularly Radek and Lorne. It's important that Lorne have a life outside his job - he has friends, he is his own person (I don't want him to be a cliche character in my story). These characters, along with a few of my OCs, will be sprinkled throughout my whole story. I want** Lost Among The Stars **to not only focus on Lorne and John, but to have a more slice-of-life feel to it.**

 **Anyway, I'll be sure to update soon! Favorite and review! XOXO**


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **Hello again! I'm back and with a new chapter. This one's a little bit on the short side but I wanted it to end at a reasonable place. I'm sure if you're familiar enough with the** Stargate: Atlantis **series you'll immediately recognize some of the episodes described in the chapter. But, if you don't know the series forward and backward like I do, then this is fair warning that SPOILERS are ahead.**

 **On a side note, I recently stumbled upon this quote:** "Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not" (Pablo Picasso). **I feel that as an author, you constantly strive to think outside the box. Believe it or not, I started writing because I found something lacking in some fandoms and I asked myself, 'why wait for someone else to write that?' And here I am. Seeing what can be and saying, 'if not you, why not me?'. But I digress.**

 **Now, without any further ado, here is the next chapter of** Lost Among The Stars **! Enjoy!**

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

John didn't normally wake up in the middle of the night but something didn't feel right. It was a nagging feeling. A sour taste that persisted long after he washed out his mouth.

Thinking it would just go away, John lounged in his bed. His sheets lay bunched at the bottom of the mattress where he had kicked them. Five minutes. Then ten. The feeling persisted. Frustrated, John scrubbed his face with his hands. Day old stubble itched at his fingertips.

Coffee, that's what he needed. Deciding to make a trip to the cafeteria, John slipped on his boots, lacing them tight. Foregoing his jacket, he slipped out of his room and walked toward the nearest transporter. Just as he turned the corner John spied Lorne stumble out into the hall. The Major was wet and shivering. Not wanting to be seen by the clearly miserable man, John backed up.

In his rush not to be seen, he banged his elbow on an outcropping on the wall. The sudden noise caused Lorne to swing around. The Major's hand reached for his missing sidearm.

John froze, more so in shock than subterfuge.

Lorne's eyes were bloodshot. His muscles tense and rippling underneath his soaked clothing. The Major called out, his voice cracking. John wondered if he had been crying.

He could hear the heavy breathing and sniffling that echoed down the empty corridor. John frowned. What had happened? Why was Lorne out of bed so late, and soaking wet? Not that John minded. Lorne's damp clothing left nothing to the imagination.

After a minute Lorne turned and continued in the direction of his room.

Long after the Major disappeared from his view, the Colonel remained where he stood, half hidden in shadow. The sight had greatly disturbed John. The Major had been fine earlier, or so John believed. But just now, Lorne had looked so scared, not just of the noise but of something else. Perhaps the events of PXK-233 effected the man even more than John first assumed. He continued on his way to the cafeteria, silently making the decision to corner his second in command later that morning after his meeting with Elizabeth.

But John never got the chance.

At his meeting, Elizabeth informed him that the Taranians - the civilization who had lived underneath the erupting supervolcano - had not contacted Atlantis in over two months. John and his team departed immediately. On the planet they found the entire Taranian settlement abandoned. It wasn't long after that they were attacked by a mutated Iratus bug creature. Things went from bad to worse when Michael, the Wraith they temporarily transformed into a human with Carson's retrovirus, was discovered to be behind the disappearance of an entire people.

Hours later they trekked back through the Stargate, dirty and tired and mourning. An entire team of Marines had perished on that planet, victims of Michael's cruelty. John and his team met with Elizabeth, explaining what happened. In the end, they determined that the Wraith must have hacked Atlantis' database during their last alliance. Rodney was able to decipher some information from one of Michael's devices; there were at least three other planets where Michael was conducting his experiments. Elizabeth tasked John to investigate the situation.

When things finally started to settle down, John became swamped by the annual personnel evaluation reports. Wanting a free afternoon to himself, he sped through them, giving everyone 'excellent' and 'above average' ranks.

Then the new Earth battle-cruiser _Apollo_ arrived. The commander, Colonel Abraham Ellis, beamed down to the city and demanded a meeting with Elizabeth and her senior staff. He wanted to launch a preemptive strike against an armada of Replicator ships that were preparing to take off to Earth. The Atlantis expedition quickly planned, organized, and coordinated the attack on the Replicator homeworld. The strike was successful but they had little time to celebrate before a Stargate-weapon satellite appeared above the city. Thankfully, Atlantis had time to raise its shield before they were hit by the self-sustaining energy beam.

They sank the city, trying to buy more time before the Replicators successfully drained their ZPM and destroyed Atlantis. John and Rodney quickly realized that they would always be in range of the satellite weapon, no matter where they were on the planet. Their only hope was to escape into space using the city's Stardrive. But, in order to do so, they needed to drop the shields. John suggested they dispatch Lorne to lead a squadron of F-302s to pull an asteroid into the path of the weapon to disrupt the beam until they could lift Atlantis out of the atmosphere.

But they didn't raise the shields in time and people were hurt. Then the ZPM failed and Atlantis got stuck in space. In order to save the city and its occupants, the science team outfitted a Jumper with a hyperdrive with the plan to go to the Replicator homeworld to steal more ZPMs. Rodney was able to rewrite the Replicators' coding, resetting their prime directive to attack the Wraith. All in all, they are successful.

And then they lost Elizabeth.

She sacrificed herself the save the expedition. For John, the grief is almost too much. He lost a good friend. Someone who saw his potential, believed in him and, dare he say it, loved him. Not a romantic love, mind you, but one of kindred souls. A love bred from respect and understanding.

Colonel Samantha Carter was a suitable replacement. She was, after all, the foremost expert on Ancient technology and Replicator activity.

She had the experience to lead the Atlantis expedition and, like Elizabeth, she could not be cowed by the IOA. Sam knew the struggles of exploring a galaxy and the hardship of losing teammates. She was willing to make the difficult, unpopular decisions to protect those under her command while also allowing herself to take advice when she thought she lacked knowledge and skill.

She proved this when, immediately after her arrival, Ronon approached her and asked to break safety protocols to bring some old friends - other surviving Satedans - to Atlantis. Sam refused, stating they were a security risk. Rodney, who witnessed the conversation, later claimed that he was impressed with Ronon's inability to intimate their new leader.

But afterward, when John's team had been captured by the very ones they were trying to help, Sam led the rescue team. She strategically incapacitated the Wraith facility's main power supply. While in the end the Satedans were traitorous Wraith worshippers, Sam welcomed Ronon back to Atlantis, never questioning his loyalty to the expedition.

It also helped that Sam was well-liked among the masses. Her infamy preceded her. Most of the Marines had been involved in the Stargate Program before coming to Atlantis so they were familiar with her history. They respected her command. Many of the scientists knew of Sam's work in astrophysics, her experience was widely accepted and often used as reference.

All in all, Sam was the perfect balance of scientist and soldier.

 **~o~o~**

John found himself lounging in Elizabeth's old office.

It had only been a week since the incident with the Satedan Wraith worshippers. Ronon was still irritable, therefore unapproachable. Rodney was stuck in his lab supervising the data collected from their latest Ancient discovery. And Teyla was off-world visiting her people at harvest time. So that left John, bored and alone.

The Colonel had already finished all his overdue mission reports and paperwork. He couldn't go to the gym or the lab, Ronon would surely leave him a bloody mess while Rodney would yell at him and call him stupid. And, at the moment, John didn't think he would handle either type of abuse.

As such, he made his way to the control room. Hopefully, if he waited long enough, something interesting would happen.

Sam had seen him sulking around the DHD and called him into her office.

"Bored, Sheppard?"

John sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "That obvious?"

Sam grinned and shrugged. "You're moping about reminds me of Daniel when Jack kicked him out of his office to get some rest. He just didn't know what to do with himself," she said, referring to her old teammates, Doctor Daniel Jackson and General Jack O'Neil respectively.

"I don't mope," John grumbled before flinging himself into one of the empty chairs in front of her desk. "Besides, I was just checking in on Stargate operations."

"Of course."

"So… doing anything interesting?"

"Not really," Sam replied. "I'm just reading more mission reports to familiarize myself with the off-world teams and the type of situations they get themselves into."

"Oh?"

"Your team in particular has a track record that would make SG-1 jealous."

John grinned. "Well, we aim to please."

"UNSCHEDULED OFFWORLD ACTIVATION!"

Jumping into action, John ran out of the office. "No one's due to return for another six hours." Sam rushed out after him.

"It's Major Lorne's IDC, ma'am," Chuck, the Canadian technician, responded.

A sliver of fear coiled in the Colonel's gut. "Lower the shield," John barked, hopping down the main staircase until he was at the bottom. The soldiers on 'gate duty had their weapons raised, ready for their second in command and his team to step through.

Major Lorne and another Marine came through first. They supported David Parrish between them, the botanist appeared to be unconscious and struggling for breath. Lieutenant Abrams ran through the event horizon last, his P-90 raised to cover his teammates.

"Lorne!" John called out, "what the hell happened?"

"We need to get David to the infirmary," Lorne ordered, ignoring his commanding officer. A team of medics rushed forward, placing the scientist on a stretcher before whisking him away.

John narrowed his eyes at the Major. After being relieved of his burden, Lorne's hand wound around his ribs, cradling them. John also spotted a fair amount of blood mixed into Lorne's dark hair.

"Sir," Abrams said, stepping beside the Major, "you should go with him."

"Right," the soldier nodded, trailing behind his friend as he was rolled away.

The Colonel watched Lorne's receding form. "Lieutenant, care to explain what just happened?"

"Yes, sir," Abrams nodded, "There was, uh, an incident with the locals."

"What kind of incident?" Sam demanded, finally joining John at the bottom of the stairs.

Abrams looked reluctant to continue. "Could I give you my report in your office, ma'am?"

"Very well," Sam nodded.

The three entered the office before the door fully closed behind them. Abrams stood at attention while John and Sam sat down. "So tell us why one of my scientists was unconscious and why it looked like your team leader had taken a beating," Sam declared, her voice as hard as nails.

"As you know, ma'am," Abrams started, "we were escorting Dr. Parrish to scout out some local flora and fauna that might hold some healing properties that could be useful back on Earth. Well, while we were collecting samples we stumbled upon a villages about six klicks away from the 'gate."

"The locals, were they friendly?" John asked.

"Yes," the Lieutenant admitted. "They allowed us to meet with their medicine man. Dr. Parrish and I went off with him while Major Lorne set up a perimeter. Dr. Parrish was gathering information about a native plant that the healer claimed had cured several of their children of a water-borne virus. After two hours I checked-in with Major Lorne. He said we were invited to their midday meal."

"Dr. Parrish and I met up with the others," Abrams said, "we ate with several of the village elders. They mostly offered us some fruits and roots to eat. It turns out they are mostly vegetarians, only hunting for special occasions. Major Lorne didn't trust their water because of the illness some children were experiencing, so he ordered us to only drink from our canteens." The Lieutenant took a moment to breathe before continuing. "Major Lorne stepped out of the room for a moment and we were offered this local tea or something. Dr. Parrish had some, and I think he had some sort of allergic reaction. His throat closed up and he couldn't breath too well. He got real close to passing out when Major Lorne came back. Major Lorne assessed the situation and…"

"And what?" Sam prompted.

Abrams grimaced. "I guess he saw the spilled drink and an unresponsive Dr. Parrish and, uh, overreacted."

John sat up a little straighter. "Overreacted? That doesn't sound like Lorne."

"Well, sir," the Lieutenant swallowed, "based on his reaction, I would guess it had to do with what happened on PXK-233."

The Colonel hissed. PXK-233, that cursed planet. "Fuck," he sighed, scrubbing his face with both hands.

Sam's brow crinkled in confusion, "Sheppard?"

"I don't know how many mission reports you've read," John stated, "but a little over a month ago Lorne was attacked while off-world. He was drugged, kidnapped, and assaulted."

"I see," Sam nodded, making a mental note to look over that particular report. "So what exactly happened after that?"

"Major Lorne drew his sidearm and ordered us to get Dr. Parrish out of there. Some locals didn't take too kindly to us pointing weapons at their elders. They jumped Major Lorne while we were helping Dr. Parrish. They got in a few good blows before I could fire a warning shot into the air. After that they backed off. We ran to the 'gate, dialed out, and made it back."

"While his reaction is understandable, it is inexcusable," Sam remarked. "Dr. Heightmeyer should never have cleared him for active duty."

"With all due respect, ma'am," Abrams spoke, a small frown curling around his lips. "We have been busy these last few weeks, what with the Replicator attack and all."

"I agree with Abrams," John voiced, "we've all been busy and Lorne was needed."

"Still, I want him on light duty until he sees Dr. Heightmeyer."

Reigning in his anger, the Colonel grunted in affirmation. He then turned back to the soldier. "Thank you, Abrams. You can go drop off your gear before going to your post mission check-up."

The Lieutenant snapped a quick salute. "Yes, sir."

Once Abrams was out of hearing range John turned on Sam, a frown marring his usually carefree disposition. "Colonel," he all but sneered, "you weren't on PXK-233. You don't know what happened. Now, Lorne is a fine soldier and an even better second in command. I would appreciate it if you would get all the facts before making such a rushed judgment, especially in front of subordinates."

Sam looked too startled by his outburst to respond.

"I will talk to Lorne, and if _he_ doesn't wish to see Heightmeyer I will allow it," he ground out. "It has been weeks since PXK-233 and this is the first time something like this has happened." John stood up, placing his hands on his hips. "David is a close friend to Lorne. And frankly, if something like that had happened to Rodney I would have reacted the same. Damn the consequences."

Not waiting to be dismissed, John stormed out of the office and made his way to the infirmary. He promptly found a transporter and hopped in. Pressing the sector button he desired, John exited on the appropriate floor and briskly walked down the hall to the infirmary's main entrance.

John was pissed. How dare she say that about Lorne? She didn't know. She didn't understand. A tightness bloomed in John's chest. Panic and guilt. Once again Lorne was hurt on a simple off-world excursion. He should have been there.

But John knew he was being biased. His feelings for Lorne were getting in the way again. He couldn't always protect his second in command. No matter how much he wanted to. Their work was dangerous, life-threatening even. He needed to accept the possibility of either of them dying on the expedition.

Huffing in frustration, John roughly ran his hands through his spiked hair. He wanted to rush into the infirmary, grab Lorne, and hide him away. To preserve him, love him, and let no one harm him again. But it wouldn't be fair to Lorne to have him remain on Atlantis indefinitely. The Major was built for off-world missions; he was good at his job, the best.

John shook his head. No, Lorne would never allow that.

Finally trudging into the waiting area, he spotted Jennifer. "Hey, doc!" he called out in greeting. "Do you know where Lorne and Parrish are?"

"Last bed on the left," the Doctor supplied. "But be easy with them, it's been rough."

"No problem, doc. Take care."

Silently approaching the privacy curtain, John couldn't help but overhear the end of what seemed to be an argument between the two friends.

"...doesn't matter," he heard the Major say.

David instantly responded, "Please, allow me this one grievance."

"David, I-" Lorne's voice cracked. "I'm just glad you're alright." There was a pause in the conversation when he spoke up again, concern clearly in his voice. "You are alright, aren't you? Are you in pain? Do I need to get Dr. Keller in here?"

"No," David sniffed. "I'm just upset that you're upset."

"I'm not upset," Lorne squawked.

"Then I'm upset that you're not upset that I'm upset that you're upset," David explained.

"But I'm not upset!"

"Well, now I'm upset you're not upset that I'm upset you're not upset that I'm upset."

John couldn't help but interrupt. "Well," he said, pulling aside the privacy curtain, "that's upsetting,"

"Sir!"

"Colonel Sheppard!"

John laughed. "At ease, gentlemen. I'm just here to check on you guys. Any injuries?"

Lorne was sitting down in a plush chair. His arm was still gingerly wrapped around his midsection. A white patch a gause was tapped near his hairline. David, on the other hand, lay in bed fully decked out in scrubs. He had an IV in his arm but otherwise looked unharmed.

"I had a severe allergic reaction but Dr. Keller fixed me right up. Luckily, Lorne," David pointed at the sitting soldier, "only has a few bruised ribs and a superficial head wound," David answered.

The Major pursed his lips and looked over had his friend. "Nah, you're the lucky one," he said, emotion trickling into his voice.

John smiled grimly. "I heard what happened. I'm just glad everyone got back in one piece."

Lorne looked at him sharply. "Sir?"

"Abrams gave me a full report."

"Oh," Lorne almost whispered, trying to look anywhere but John.

"I'm just glad they got me out of there so quickly," David pipped up. "Who knows what might have happened."

John offered a small smile before clapping his hands together. "Well, then," he said. "Lorne, could I borrow you a moment?"

The Major hesitantly nodded.

"Don't worry, you'll be back soon enough. After all, we don't want to leave Parrish alone for too long. He might get _upset_."

The two soldiers walked to the far side the infirmary, away from David's laughter. Once they were out of hearing range, John stopped and turned to face his second in command. Deciding to be blunt as possible, he stated, "Carter wants to put you on light duty, and I agree." Lorne opened his mouth to protest but John held up his hand to stop him. "But not because I think you aren't capable, but because you're clearly injured and need a few days to heal. Given the extreme circumstances, your reaction was validated. Believe me when I say I understand." Sighing, he rubbed the back of his neck. "You don't have to go to see Dr. Heightmeyer unless you want to."

Lorne looked at him, wide eyed. "Thank you, sir," he said sincerely.

The Major moved to go back the chair he had abandoned. But before he got too far, John stammered, "Y-you know you can always talk to me, right?"

The injured Major paused but didn't turn back around. "Of course, sir."

 **~o~o~**

Lorne hated light duty. He was allowed to go about his usual business on Atlantis but he couldn't train or aid in military expeditions. He also could not go off-world unless it was a serious emergency.

It was extremely unfortunate timing because Lorne was scheduled to escort Radek to M3X-387, a jungle planet constantly shrouded in darkness. The MALP had transmitted strange energy readings, similar to those in Ancient technology. Because there were no lifesigns detected on the planet, Radek was't too enthusiastic to give up an entire day he could spend in his the lab to chase energy signatures around a barren planet.

As such, Radek was convinced the trip would be in vain. There was nothing on the planet that could host such energy signatures, at least nothing that would aid them in their fight against the Wraith or the Replicators. He proposed to Rodney that the readings were simply feedback from the atmosphere.

But now that the Major and his team were taken off the mission roster, Radek was able to convince Rodney to go in his stead. To sweeten the deal, the Czech scientist proposed a bet his superior: one of his homemade meals if Rodney would not find anything of worth on M3X-387. Eager to prove Radek wrong, Rodney had agreed and received permission from Sam to send his team to the jungle plant to investigate.

While Radek was fairly certain he'd win, the reward of being in the lab without Rodney breathing down his neck for a whole day was too good to pass up. Even if it cost him all his food supplies in return.

And, in the end, it did cost him. Rodney discovered what appeared to be a raw power source that grew on trees in the form of a glowing crystalline structure. John recommended sending a science team back to the planet to investigate further.

After hearing his friend complain about losing the bet for several hours, Lorne promise Radek that he would help him smuggle extra ingredients from the kitchens. He couldn't let Rodney's appetite deplete the Czech's entire food supply. After that, Radek calmed down. Content that he had averted a disastrous situation, the Major finally bid his friend good-night.

The next morning, after a dreamless night's rest, Lorne made his way the cafeteria. There he joined Teyla, Rodney, and Ronon for breakfast. He sat down just as Teyla was telling a story about a dream she had the night before.

"I cannot even begin to tell you how bizarre it was," she said.

Rodney snorted. "Please, you want bizzare? Let me tell you…"

"You know what? Don't," Ronon interrupted him.

Lorne smirked into his oatmeal, humored by the bickering.

"Morning," John intoned, as he sat down at the head of the table. He had with him a tray filled with cereal, toast, and fruit. He was only greeted by silence. Feeling uncomfortable, the Colonel frowned, "What?"

"Teyla had a dream about you last night," Rodney answered, smiling smugly.

"Rodney!" the Athosian exclaimed, clearly embarrassed.

"Really?" John leaned forward, intrigued. "What was it about?"

Teyla frowned. "Actually it was more of a nightmare and I would rather not talk about it."

John's eyebrows simply rose in apprehension. "Was I the dashing hero saving you from the big bad monster?"

Ronon grinned, baring his teeth. "Actually, you were the big bad monster."

"Really?"

"Like I said, I would rather not talk about it," Teyla said, her voice growing tight. She stood up from the table, collecting her tray and used utensils.

Deciding he was also finished with his meal, Lorne also stood and collected his dirty dishes.

John frowned. "Where are you guys going?

Teyla sighed. "Sorry, I have a headache. I did not sleep well last night."

"Paperwork, sir," Lorne responded, knowing full well the Colonel's disdain for bureaucracy.

Without a further good-bye, they both left. Depositing their trays near the garbage, Lorne turned to his Athosian companion. "Teyla, may I be so bold as to recommend seeing Dr. Heightmeyer." He paused before elaborating, "Nightmares can hold a heavy weight over your head. And, if you don't address them, they may just crush you."

"Speaking from experience, Major?" Teyla hummed.

"Yes," he answered honestly. "If a nightmare has you this rattled, it might be pertinent to seek help."

Teyla shyly smiled at him. "Yes," she spoke quietly, "Thank you, Major."

He simply nodded, pleased she listened to his advice. Then, with a final farewell, he continued on his way to his office. Paperwork awaited.

 **~o~o~**

 _A/N:_ **Wow, Lorne just can't catch a break, can he?**

 **Now, if you couldn't already tell, the next couple chapters take place during SGA episode** "Doppleganger" **. Obvious SPOILERS ahead! Anyway, I am now veering toward AU territory. While general canon themes remain, I will be constructing some new situations and events to fit my story line. I will be extending a lot of the scenes and switching out different characters with others to make everything a little bit more interesting.**

 **That being said, some of the dialogue and situations are not of my own creation. They are directly borrowed from the** Stargate: Atlantis **series. I do not mean to commit any particular copyright infringements, I just want to keep the material as authentic as possible.**

 **Anyway, I love hearing from you guys so please review! Review, review, review! Until next time. XOXO**


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **I'm back! Sorry about the delay but I am in the middle of moving so everything is a little hectic right now. Anyway, this chapter is heavily based on the SGA episode** Doppleganger **. It's one of my favorite episodes in the series. You will probably notice that a lot of the dialogue mirrors that of the original episode, but I have changed some of the major details and bended it to fit my alternate reality that I have created for** Lost Among The Stars **.**

 **Well, I hope you like reading this chapter as much as I had fun writing it! Enjoy!**

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

It was late at night when John and Ronon found themselves in the gym. Neither man could sleep and so, fully intending to be productive, they made their way to the training mats. Bantos rods were their weapon of choice.

The gym was stifling. Humidity seeped from every corner. John felt as though he was melting. Perspiration rolled off his brow, obscuring his view from time to time. In between rounds he used a towel to dry himself. Ronon, however, barely broke into a sweat. It was a testament to his Satedan endurance.

For an hour the gym echoed with the thwack of wood hitting wood. Occasionally the hollow thuds would be replaced with the smack of wood on flesh. More often than not it was also followed by cursing, mostly from John.

With a roar, Ronon rushed John, his bantos rods raised. Prepared to defend himself, John blocked the weapons with his own, aligning them in front of his chest. Pushing them away with a mighty thrust, the soldier twirled around. He brought one rod up to strike Ronon's neck while he lowered the other to hit his thigh. Expecting the move, Ronon blocked the rods while sticking out his foot to trip John.

John feigned a collapse, bowing down to his knees. Ronon stepped back, waiting for his sparring partner to recover. While he moved back John jumped up, thatching his bantos into a cross and forcibly pushing them into Ronon's stomach. Taken by surprise, the Satedan warrior stumbled back and barely had time to block John's next strike. But, in his preoccupation to regain his footing and catch the banto rod aimed at his shoulder, Ronon completely missed the second rod speeding toward his head. A sharp pain suddenly sprouted from his forehead. Grunting, Ronon fell onto his ass.

"Chewie, you okay?" John panted, concerned when he witnessed blood begin to flow from a deep cut on his teammate's brow.

"Yeah," Ronon huffed.

"That doesn't look pretty," the Colonel admitted. He held out his hand to the downed Satedan. Ronon accepted it and hauled himself off the mats.

John collected their bantos rods and put them back in the corner. He picked up his towel and, slapping Ronon on the back, said, "Let's get you to the infirmary, big guy."

Sniffing in distain, Ronon reluctantly agreed and followed John out of the gym. It didn't take the duo very long to arrive at the infirmary. The place was mostly empty. Not immediately spying the nurse on duty, John spun in a circle until he caught sight of Jennifer out of the corner of his eye. Nudging Ronon in the Doctor's direction, the two men silently walked over.

Their sudden appearance must have startled Jennifer because when she turned around she emitted a high-pitched squeak. Her hands flew up to defend herself. In her right fist she gripped a bottle of sleeping pills.

John immediately noted that Jennifer was not on duty. She was wearing pajamas, a low-cut pink shirt with blue flannel bottoms.

"Sorry, doc, didn't mean to scare you," Ronon grumbled.

Moving her hands to clench at her heart through the thin material of her sleepwear, the Doctor stared up at the Satedan's bloody forehead.

"We were sparring and I got in a lucky shot," John explained.

Jennifer frowned, confusion flittering across her delicate features. "It's in the middle of the night…"

"Maybe for you," Ronon snorted in response.

Sighing in defeat, Jennifer responded, "Sit down," she motioned to the infirmary bed beside her, "let's have a look." The Doctor pulled on a pair of latex gloves and examined the cut further. Jennifer glanced over at John in disapproval before she told Ronon, "You're going to need stitches."

John grimaced, anxiously biting at his thumb nail, while the Satedan replied, "Guess I taught him too much, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so," she said, turning back to look at the bleeding man before her.

"You know, you don't need to stick around," Ronon told the Colonel. "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." The injured warrior paused before stating, "I want a rematch tomorrow."

John grimaced, "Yeah, that's what I was afraid of." Taking one final moment to glance between the two, he uncrossed his arms. And, saying good-night, he fled the scene.

Now, with the loss of his sparring partner, John had nothing to do. Well, he could go back to bed but he knew it would be impossible to sleep with all the adrenaline still coursing through his system. So, with little else to do, he settled on going to the cafeteria to grab a midnight snack. The cafeteria was always open. It had to host all of the city's residents, no matter the shift or unusual habits they occupied. Around-the-clock food was one of John's favorite aspects of Atlantis. Well, that and all the pretty toys he got to fly.

There were only three other people in the cafeteria when John arrived: two Marines and a scientist. The Colonel assumed the Marines had just been relieved of duty. Their shoulders slumped with fatigue while dark bruises began to form under their eyes. The scientist, on the other hand, was too alert. She was obviously there to sate a caffeine addiction.

Grabbing a coffee and small bowl of alien fruit, John made his way toward the balcony, fully intending to eat under the stars. As he passed the Marines they sluggishly issued a proper salute. The scientist just fliched and mumbled something unintelligible before slurping down the rest of her brew.

Ever since he had flown Atlantis this new planet to escape from the Replicators, John hadn't had a chance to gaze at the stars. But now he just began to notice it. Here, on Atlantis, the stars seemed closer. Bigger and brighter. Sparkling in the sky behind the two moons. Two moons, imagine that. It was a different sight to behold. One that John supposed he would never tire of seeing.

A swatch of purple nebula joined with the blacks and blues of the night sky. The swirling mix of color ebbed and flowed in a mesmerizing fashion. Forgetting his snack, John settled down to watch the show. It reminded him of the Aurora Borealis. But this was better because, as far as he knew, he was its only witness.

Hypnotized by its movement, John became lost in the magnificence of the cosmos. He wanted to rush to the nearest Jumper and join the stars. To run from his problems, and his feelings. To simply fly.

The color swelled again, twirling faster than before.

And then, suddenly, John felt very insignificant. He chest constricted and an icy feeling rushed to every appendage. His heart thudded. It was if a cold hand had reached inside him and trapped his heart in its icy grip. A tightness. Squeezing. Threatening to crush him.

Never before had he felt so small. Not when he couldn't save Holland. Not when he saw Nancy leave for the last time. Not when he thought Lorne had died in a fire. Not when he shot Colonel Sumner. Not even when he crumbled under the weight of his father's disappointment after he quit school and joined the Air Force. No, nothing manmade could make him feel this way. And, for some reason, that thought was terrible and beautiful all at once.

John sucked in a deep breath. For the briefest of moments a wayward shooting star made its way across sky. Its flaming tail cut through the purples and blues and blacks. The colors dissipated. The feeling faded. The show ended.

A numb feeling washed over him. Wishing to further his tranquility, John remained seated. He went to take a sip of his coffee but discovered it had long went cold. It would be daylight soon. And with the morning came the bustle of a busy city.

He stayed there for another hour and watched the sunrise over the grand spires of Atlantis.

 **~o~o~**

The cafeteria eventually became too noisy for John. So making a strategic retreat, the Colonel escaped into the maze-like hallways of Atlantis. Avoiding transporters, he took the longest route back to his room. His goal was to shower and change his clothes before joining Sam and the other senior staff for their weekly meeting.

John sauntered into the crew quarters' artium. The common area was fairly crowded at this time in the morning. The crew on night shift was just returning to their rooms while the remaining personnel made their way to the cafeteria for breakfast. John passed Teyla and Kate who had just reached the bottom of the main staircase leading to the transporters. Both women appeared to be in deep conversation. Not wanting to break up their discussion, the Colonel simply nodded to them in greeting.

Suddenly the familiar click of a disengaged gun safety echoed throughout the atrium. All movement and noise seemed to come to a stand-still. Shoulders tense, John turned to face the source of the sound. He was surprised to see Lorne aiming his service weapon at his head.

"Major?" John asked, confusion littering his usual easy-going tone.

Lorne blinked several times. His brow was shiny with sweat. His grip slightly wavered in hesitation. His pupils were dilated. His bare toes curled on the cold floor. His mouth curved down into a frown. His fingers edged toward the trigger.

"Where is _he_?" Lorne demanded.

"Who?" John asked. In the background he heard an off-duty Marine call security on his headset. In his peripheral vision he witnessed Teyla and Kate move to his side.

"Whatever is bothering you, Major, I'm sure we can talk about it," Kate said calmly, opening her hands in the universal sign of surrender.

Lorne ignored her, keeping his gun trained on his commanding officer. "Where is he? I know he's here?"

The Colonel shook his head. "Who? Who's here?"

" _Baltier_ ," Lorne spat.

John shivered. The name brought the sickening memories of PXK-233 to the front of his mind. The negotiations. The festival. The kidnapping. The assault.

Teyla stepped forward and spoke, "Baltier? No, that man is not here. That is impossible."

"Really?" Lorne asked, dropping his weapon several inches until it was aiming more at John's feet than his head.

"Yes," Teyla continued, "there is no way he could be here. No one has traveled to or from PXK-233 since our last visit."

The Major seemed to consider this. He closed his eyes, murmuring to himself. He swayed slightly, either in relief or fatigue John did not know.

With the man distracted, the Colonel moved to grab his own weapon in his holster. He had no intention of actually shooting Lorne. No, not at all. But there were civilians in the area. It was his duty to protect them, even from his own soldiers. Security was beginning to arrive. John internally cheered for their quick response.

Just then Lorne's eyes snapped back open. "No!" He raised his gun again, this time pointing it at John's chest. "No, don't move or I'll shoot."

John raised his hands, palms open and outward. "Okay, okay, no need to shoot anyone."

The Major licked his lips. "Baltier is here. I know he is."

"How do you know?" Kate asked softly.

"I smell him." And then, speaking more to himself than anyone else, he whispered, "Coffee and peppermint."

John flinched, knowing it was him that Lorne smelled. The Colonel had meant to change his shampoo and aftershave so he wouldn't trigger any relapses. Unfortunately, the _Daedalus_ had not made any supply runs recently, and the whole thing had simply slipped John's mind. He was severely regretting it now.

"I won't let him take me. You can't make me go with him," Lorne asserted, baring his teeth aggressively.

"No, no one will let him take you," Teyla assured him.

"He will," Lorne nudged forward with his weapon. "Colonel Sheppard is helping him."

"What?" John gapped. "I would never!"

"Shut up!" Lorne all but screamed.

Something was seriously wrong. Well, more wrong than his second in command holding him at gunpoint. No, for Lorne to think him aiding and abetting _that man_ , he could not be in his right mind. It was wrong. All wrong. And John had to get to the bottom of this. "Put down the gun, Major. Let's talk this out."

"Corporal, get a search party together," Lorne ordered, glancing sideways at one of the Marines. The soldier lifted his P-90 so its muzzle was aimed at the Major's heart. Lorne barely blinked when the Marine did not respond. "And someone put Colonel Sheppard in a holding cell…"

"You talk to me, Major," Kate said. Lorne turned his gaze back to the Doctor. "Tell me what is going on?"

"Just do it!" Lorne ordered again. "What's the harm? He needs to be out of the way so we can find Baltier."

"John-" Teyla started to say.

Lorne snapped. "Don't talk to him!" He shook his head feverishly, the finger tightening on the trigger.

Silence reigned. The atrium's occupants held their breath. Everyone was tense, waiting for the ball to drop. Or, in this case, the gun to fire. John gulped, fearful that Lorne might actually shoot him. "Look, Lorne, I don't know what's gotten into you…"

"Me? No no no no no no, it's not me."

Then Sam appeared, making her way down the main staircase. "Major, why don't you lower your weapon," she spoke firmly, more of a command than a suggestion.

Lorne frowned. "No, Baltier is on Atlantis. Sheppard's helping him. He's going to take me away." Sam said nothing. "What, you don't believe me? Okay, I'll shoot him, you'll see!"

"Woah, woah that's not necessary," John said, bringing the attention back to him. He raised his open palms higher. "I've just got my hands up in a very non-threatening way."

Scared for the Colonel, Sam declared, "I've called for a search party."

John opened his mouth in astonishment. "You believe him?"

"No, of course not," Sam replied, "but it won't hurt you and it might help him to lower his gun."

"No! You're helping him, too!" Lorne move his sidearm to aim at Sam's chest, it stayed there a few seconds before it traveled back to John. "I won't go. You can't make me." Then the weapon was trained back on Sam. "I'll shoot you. I'll shoot you both!"

But Lorne never got the chance to follow through on his threat. A red light suddenly slammed into his chest. The Major convulsed, his gun dropping harmlessly from his limp hand. Watching Lorne fall unconscious, John turned his gaze to the balcony above him. There Ronon stood, his own blaster trained on the twitching form on the ground.

With the rogue soldier out of the picture, the atrium exploded. People began leaving in a hurry, desperate to get away from the apparent mad man. Security moved in closer in an attempt to control the situation. Everyone was talking all at once, trying to figure out what just happened.

"I take it I do not have to lock you in our holding cells, Colonel?" Teyla asked.

John did not turn to look at his Athosian teammate. "No thank you, Teyla." Not taking his eyes off Lorne, he watched as a set of Marines pick up the limp body. Addressing the soldiers, he ordered, "Bring him to the isolation room in the infirmary."

"Yes, sir," one of the men replied.

"Should he be restrained?" Sam asked.

Before John could answer, Kate responded, "I don't think that will be necessary, Colonel Carter." The Doctor looked thoughtful. She clearly knew more about Lorne's strange behavior than she was letting on. She tapped her chin in contemplation before requesting, "Could I talk to him when he wakes up?"

Sam nodded. "Of course, Dr. Heightmeyer."

 **~o~o~**

When Lorne woke he didn't immediately recognize his surroundings. His vision was fuzzy and his body tingled. Pins and needles. What happened? Was he stunned? Where was he? He slowly reached up and groggily whipped the sleep from his eyes.

"Major Lorne?" a voice spoke.

Groaning, he opened his eyes again. He was surprised to find himself in the infirmary's quarantine quarters. He was sitting in a steel chair. Across from him was Kate, resting in her own seat. A metallic interrogation table acted as a barrier between them.

"Dr. Heightmeyer?"

"Major Lorne, how are you feeling?"

"Like I got stunned… What happened? Why am I here?"

She peered at him, concerned. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"I finished some reports in my office and then I went to bed."

"Have you been taking the sleeping pills you received from Dr. Keller?"

"Yeah, two a night." Lorne furrowed his brow. "Doc, what's with the questions? What's going on?"

"I'll explain in a moment," Kate calmly stated, "but first I need you to answer one more question. And please answer honestly."

Still confused, and desperately wanting to know what was happening, Lorne responded, "Of course. What is it?"

"When was the last time you had a sleepwalking incident?"

The Major blinked. "I haven't had one since I last saw you. Why?"

Kate sighed. "About an hour ago you held Colonel Sheppard at gunpoint." Lorne gaped at her. Whatever he was expecting her to say, that was not it. "You claimed that Baltier was here on Atlantis and that Colonel Sheppard was helping him," she continued.

"I what!?" He nearly jumped out of his chair in shock.

"You seemed to be having a very vivid nightmare," the Doctor explained. "You reacted violently. You almost shot him and Colonel Carter."

Lorne ran his hands through his short, brown hair. "No, no that can't be right. I would never do that. I would never…"

"Major Lorne," Kate soothed, "I believe you." She reached across the table and took one of his shaking hands. "But, you need to understand, this is serious. Now, we think that you might not have been acting under your own volition."

"What do you mean?"

"Several other people have recently had nightmares," she said. "In all of them, Colonel Sheppard has appeared as a very negative presence."

"Yeah, I remember Teyla telling us that she had a nightmare yesterday…" Lorne looked at her curiously. "You think these are connected?"

"Possibly," she replied. "But we don't know for certain just yet."

The Major nodded. "I see. I'm just so glad no one was hurt." There was a slight pause in conversation before he continued. "Well, I feel fine now, doc," Lorne said earnestly. "Can I go soon?"

Kate pursed her lips. "I'm going to have to ask you to wait here a little longer until we sort everything out."

Lorne's lips twitched in the semblance of a smile. "Okay, doc."

"Thank you for understanding. We'll have everything straightened out in no time. Just relax, Major Lorne." She stood up, her chair scraping along the floor. Kate circled the table and made for the door. Knocking on it twice, the entrance swished open. "We'll get to the bottom of this, don't worry," she said before finally exiting.

Then Lorne was alone. His thoughts and fears were his only company.

 **~o~o~**

 _A/N:_ **This chapter focused on my little twist on the events in** Doppleganger **. In fact, the next couple chapters fit primarily into this episode arc. And, as you probably noticed, some of the dialogue is directly transcribed from the episode. (I do not intend for this to fall under plagiarism, but rather a loyalty to the established canon.)**

 **I do plan for my version of the story arc to be a more in depth account of the happenings in Atlantis during the episode. Also, I hope to deepen the relationship between Lorne and John in the upcoming chapters. Eventually leading to a big reveal!**

 **Anyway, thanks for sticking with me and this story. I'll try to post another chapter as soon possible. Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **Wow, a lot of readers commented that** Doppleganger **was also one of their favorite episodes. I have to say I'm glad I chose that episode of SGA to focus my energy on. Therefore, you will notice that much of the dialogue in this chapter is directly transcribed from the original episode. Anyway, that being said, I will remind you all that I have changed several aspects of canon in** Doppleganger **for the sake of my story. As such, please don't be too surprised or upset when the plot begins to deviate.**

 **Anyway, I just wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed the story so far. Your thoughts and suggestions are inspiring (I do try to address them whenever I write a new chapter) and your praise is very motivational!**

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

John nervously crossed and uncrossed his arms. His veins still hummed with adrenaline, which refused to leave his system even though he was no longer in danger. It had been a whole hour since Lorne had held him at gunpoint in the crew quarters' atrium.

The unconscious Major had immediately been moved to the infirmary's isolation room. Kate had insisted that he didn't need to be restrained, claiming he posed no threat to them disarmed. Reluctantly, the remaining senior staff agreed. However, at the first sign of violence, John had ordered the pair of Marines guarding the door not to hesitate shooting Lorne. Each man was armed with a Wraith stunner.

It was a long wait. Too long. Lorne was slumped in an uncomfortable steel chair, his head resting on his chest. He did not move. He did not shift. And if John did not see the subtle rise and fall of his chest, he would have assumed Lorne to be dead.

Nearing the end of the alloted the normal hour-long stun time, Kate entered the isolation room and sat down across from the slumped soldier. Soon after she seated herself, Lorne began to wake up. He lifted his head and blinked slowly. Shaking his head from side to side, his brow furrowed. He slowly reached up and groggily rubbed at his eyes. John could tell he didn't immediately recognize his surroundings. The Major's neck was stiff from the position in which he had been originally placed in the steel chair. As such, Lorne winced at any sudden movement.

The Major eventually focused his gaze at the Doctor. He blinked again. His eyes were sluggish. Confusion masked his face when he hesitatingly spoke her name.

The Colonel, along with some of the senior staff, watched from the observation window as Kate and Lorne talked. Kate had requested the room's speakers be turned off. She wished her initial conversation with the Major to fall under doctor-patient confidentiality.

Even without knowing what was being said, John could see it disturbed Lorne. It disturbed him greatly. A litany of emotions flashed across the Major's face. Confusion. Fear. Was that shame?

At one point in the conversation Lorne almost completely jumped out of his seat in shock. The occupants of the observation room tensed. John instinctively reached for his gun. Lorne settled after a few moments and ran his hands through his hair anxiously. Kate calmed him down right away, taking one his hands in hers.

A short time later the Doctor left the isolation room. Lorne was alone. John watched as tension slowly began to built up in his shoulders. The Colonel desperately wished to go down there and comfort him. But he knew he wouldn't be allowed. And, even if he was, he wouldn't know what to say.

After a minute, Kate joined the senior staff in the observation room.

Jennifer was the first to speak. "What did Major Lorne say?"

Kate sighed, shaking her head slightly. "He has no memory about what happened in the atrium, though that's not surprising."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"He was sleepwalking," she replied simply.

Jennifer's eyebrows shot up. "Sleepwalking?"

"Yes, it's quite common for someone suffering from somnambulism to perform complex activities in their sleep and remember nothing upon waking."

Sam frowned. "Has this happened before?"

Kate nodded reluctantly. "He used to sleepwalk when he was a child. But recently, he had a similar incident..."

"Recently? Like, here on Atlantis? When?" Jennifer questioned, pressing Kate for information. But John knew. The memories of the Major in the hallway that night all those weeks ago flashed in his head. Lorne wet and shivering. Eyes bloodshot and red. The Doctor continued, "What caused the relapse?"

"I'm afraid I can't talk about it without Major Lorne's permission."

Pushing aside the memories of his crying and frightened second in command, John asked, "So you think this has something to do with the crystal I touched on M3X-387?"

"That's when it seemed to start," Jennifer spoke up, turning to face John. "Major Lorne's not the only one. In each case the person being effected reports _you_ being a significant negative presence in the nightmare."

"Well, I can't control that," John said defensively, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No, but maybe something is," Sam stated.

The Colonel scoffed. "What? You think someone is responsible for impersonating me in their dreams?" John rolled his eyes, trying to laugh the whole thing off.

"Look, I've seem more than my share of alien entities that are capable of this." Sam straightened from her perch. "Colonel O'Neil was once knocked unconscious by an energy being that lived in a crystal. It took on his appearance for a while."

Kate jumped back into the conversation, "I read at one point you were taken over by an alien entity."

"Yeah," Sam sighed, looking down dejectedly, "not a personal highlight."

John shook his head. "The question is, what's the point?"

"Maybe it feeding on our fear?" Jennifer suggested. Silence fell over the room while everyone turned to look at her strangely. Realizing how crazy she sounded, Jennifer grimaced and said, "I'll shut up."

"No, no," Sam nodded thoughtfully, "it's not that big a leap. It's just... we don't have any proof."

"First it was Teyla," Jennifer listed, ticking off each person on her fingertips, "I was next, and then Ronon after I treated him…"

"Well, I'm the one who touched the crystal," John stated, "and I never had a bad dream."

Kate interjected, "Maybe that's why you're appearing in everyone's dream. Whatever's doing this imprinted your image onto itself."

"Now that I think about it, it's possible that whatever it is, it's spread may be limited by touch," Jennifer surmised.

Sam crossed her arms. "Okay, anyone who's had contact with Major Lorne since the incident needs to be isolated. If this is some sort of alien influence we have to find a way to detect it."

"Well, if Keller is correct that it's only spread by touch, and Ronon was the last one to experience it," John assumed, "then how did Lorne become infected?"

"That's a good question," Jennifer said, tapping her chin in contemplation. "To the best of my knowledge, Ronon spent the rest of the night in the infirmary after you guys came to see me. And if Major Lorne was in his room sleeping until he started sleepwalking then Ronon couldn't have infected the Major."

"Is it possible that Ronon infected someone else who then infected Lorne?" Kate supplied.

Jennifer's eyes widened in horror. "Or maybe the entity has become more powerful and doesn't need touch to move from victim to victim anymore."

"In any case, let's also isolate anyone who has experienced these nightmares or been in contact with an infected person," Sam ordered. "Maybe we can track this alien being's movements and located it that way."

With that the senior staff disbanded, ready to scour the city. John snuck one last glance at the dejected Lorne in the isolation room below before continuing on his way. He had a creature to hunt.

 **~o~o~**

Sam quickly shut down all gate travel and restricted non-essential personnel to their quarters. Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney were advised of the situation.

Kate spoke to everyone who had been in contact with the entity. Her psychological profile suggested that the alien being was sociopathic. Its intent, though unclear, seemed to contain a certain amount of malice. She explained that the nightmares would likely escalate. The Doctor was afraid that the entity could cause serious harm, even though it only appeared to be limited to manipulating someone's subconscious.

John compared the creature to Freddy Kruger. Rodney scoffed at the very idea. Claiming the whole thing to be coincidence. They were chasing after the Boogeyman.

Sam wasn't convinced. She ordered the team back to the jungle planet, M3X-387. They were to investigate and retrieve the creature's crystalline form. They needed to find out exactly what the beings were and how they worked. Also, if possible, how to detect if there really was something inside Lorne and how to get rid of it.

Rodney complained the whole way.

Radek traveled with them too. Rodney claimed that the Czech scientist lost the original bet and was obligated to go. They had found _something_ on the planet. Radek objected, stating that whatever they found needed to be of value. And he definitely did not consider Rodney's discovery to be classified as 'valuable'.

While collecting the original drained crystal, they found another crystalline structure attached to a tree just yards away. They took it with them. The scientists claimed it would be useful to compare the two, one alive and one dead.

Radek and Rodney studied the unique energy signatures, trying to determine the frequency that the entities were emitting. Radek suggested that they could calibrate the city-wide lifesigns detector to pick up such a frequency. Rodney, already ten steps ahead of his colleague, shut him right down. They needed to start smaller.

It took several hours but they eventually found the right frequency. Adapting one of the hand-held LSD, Radek was sent to the infirmary's isolation room to scan Lorne. Scans came back negative. The entity had already left the Major.

Based on their experiments, the alien being needed some kind conductive material to travel. Such as skin to skin contact. Using the natural electrical current of the human heart. But, now that it had grown stronger, the creature had gained the ability to move about the power conduits in Atlantis. It could be anywhere. It could be in anyone.

After being cleared by Radek, Lorne made his way back to his private rooms. He avoided the transporters and the more populated hallways. It was obvious the tales of his possession had already become fairly well-known throughout the city. Living in is such a closed community, gossip spread like wildfire. The juicier it was, the faster it spread. As such, Lorne didn't want to be confronted or questioned about his nightmare experience. Once was more than sufficient. Plus the knowledge that he held both of his superiors at gunpoint was embarrassing enough he didn't need anyone else reminding him of the fact he could have killed John and Sam.

The Major was tired, exhausted. His body begged him to take a nap. While Lorne knew he never would have been allowed to leave the isolation room unless Radek was confident he was no longer infected, Lorne was afraid. In fact, he wasn't sure he wanted to fall asleep anytime soon.

Lorne decided to wait to take shower. He didn't need one, at least not right now. Changing out of the baggy sweat pants and t-shirt that he had worn to bed the night before, Lorne pulled on his BDUs. But the uniform felt strange. Shoes, he needed shoes, he reminded himself. But after pulling on his black combat boots he still didn't feel right. Like he was unworthy to wear it. His leg also missed the weight of his gun. Lorne's usual sidearm had been confiscated after Ronon stunned him. As such, his leg holster felt empty.

To the armory it was then.

After signing the appropriate paperwork, the Major had a new weapon. He then made his way to the firing range. It was there he ran into Lieutenant Abrams.

"Sir," Abrams nodded in greeting.

Lorne offered him a tight smile.

"Are you feeling better, sir?"

"Yes, thank you."

Abrams could tell that he didn't want to talk. So, leaving the Major to his own devices, he packed up his own gear and made a hasty exit.

Lorne spent only three rounds at the range, an unusually low number for him. His heart wasn't really into shooting at a silhouette target. Deep down he was scared that it would transform into John. His nightmare come to life. He threw out his targets, not even bothering to check his accuracy, and left a half hour later.

The sun was just beginning to set. The normal dinner crowd had already come and gone. Grabbing the leftovers, Lorne sequestered himself into the far corner of the cafeteria. He stayed there longer than he intended and departed shortly after his fifth cup of coffee.

He went back to his room but he was too wired to fall asleep. So Lorne took a bath. The hot water soothed his tense muscles, releasing all the aches and pains that he had accumulated over the past day. He sank lower and lower into the water. His whole head was eventually submerged.

Weightless. Free. He felt like he was flying. Without a care in the world.

He stayed under the warm bath water until he could no longer hold his breath. And even then he considered staying under longer. But he didn't. Gasping for air he emerged, flinging himself from the water. He gripped at the side of his tub, floundering to support his heaving body.

He rested there awhile, unwilling to move himself.

He eventually emerged and dried his body. He stood at the foot of his bed for a few minutes, contemplating sleep. No, he couldn't bring himself to do it. So Lorne dressed in a fresh pair of BDUs and made his way to his office. There was always paperwork to do. And his reports weren't going to write themselves.

He stayed in his cramped office all night. He was close to drifting off the next morning when the crackle of the city-wide PA system activated.

" _This is Colonel Carter_ ," Sam announced, her voice reverberating throughout all of Atlantis.

Rubbing his eyes, Lorne pulled himself up from his slumped position. His computer had long since gone to sleep, daring to do what he could not.

" _If I could have your attention, please,"_ Sam's voice echoed. _"I'm very sorry to have to tell you that we have lost a valuable member of the expedition today._ "

Lorne's gaze snapped up from his dead computer screen.

" _Dr. Kate Heightmeyer meant a great deal to all of us. Her death is nothing short of tragic._ "

"Shit," Lorne breathed, horrified. How did this happen?

" _I'm also sorry to have to report that the threat we face is still in our midst and until further notice, the full lockdown protocol will remain in effect. Try to remain calm,_ " Sam stated, her voice unwavering and resolute. " _We are doing everything we can to ensure everyone's safety and to resolve this situation quickly. Thank you_." And, after a final moment of silence, the PA system clicked off.

Lorne remained seated, completely frozen behind his desk. Kate was dead. The alien entity that was invading their dreams was even stronger than he imagined. Lorne felt horrible. He had been in contact with Kate, possibly while he was still infected. Lorne feared he had been the cause of her untimely demise. Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. The guilt was crushing him. He wanted to rush back to his room and draw himself back under the warm bath water. This time never to reemerge.

But he couldn't leave his office. Not even Lorne had the clearance to move about the city during a full lockdown protocol. Only Sam, John and Rodney had that ability. So unless he was summoned or given permission, he could do nothing.

So he waited, and waited, and waited. Paperwork no longer offered a decent distraction. And while his couch seemed inviting, he couldn't bring himself to rest upon it. So he waited, and waited, and waited some more.

After a while, he became hungry. He found some powerbars that he had stashed away in his desk. He munched on one; slowly chewing, savoring each bite. He wondered what everyone else was doing. He knew Sam would be in her office coordinating the search over her headset. John was probably running around Atlantis with Teyla and Ronon, trying to track the creature. He supposed that Radek and Rodney were also working on a way to find the alien entity and contain it. While it would be too late for Kate, if they acted fast enough they could still save many more lives.

Into the third hour under lockdown, Lorne's earpiece beeped.

" _Major Lorne?_ "

He immediately recognized the voice. "Yes, Colonel Carter."

" _You are needed in the infirmary_ ," she commanded. " _Please report there as soon as possible_."

"Yes, ma'am."

Nervous though curious, Lorne rushed off to the nearest transporter. Finally he would be able to help. Hopefully they had discovered a way to get rid of the creature and send it back to the planet from whence it came. When he arrived in the infirmary Lorne spied John. The Colonel was casually lounging against one of the empty beds.

Lorne walked up to his commanding officer and asked, "What do you need me for, sir?"

John's face was pinched with stress. "Ah, Lorne, could you go to the isolation room and help Dr. Keller."

Eager to help, the Major nodded. "Yes, sir."

The doors to to the quarantine quarters automatically swished open as Lorne approached. He was greeted by Radek, not Jennifer, when he entered. "Where's the doc?" Lorne asked the Czech. He glanced about the room. "What's with the rubber walls?"

"I'm sorry, my friend," Radek responded. "I have to go." Smiling sadly at Lorne, the scientist made a hasty retreat back into the hallway beyond.

Lorne spun around in time to see a fully armed Marine close the door, locking it. "What the-" Then realization dawned on him. "Oh, no. Please tell me you're kidding!"

The Major sighed heavily and looked up at the observation room above. Sam and Jennifer stood there, watching him mournfully. Sam made a small wave, an apologetic frown marring her usually cheerful face.

He was infected again. But how? Why?

Lorne wanted to scream. Frustrated he began to pace back and forth.

He glanced back up at the window above him and saw John join his peers. The Colonel looked depressed. His eyes were half lidded and the corners of his mouth drooped. Even his usually spiky hair had lost some of its height.

Pain and panic gripped at Lorne's heart. He had already been awake for almost a day. Fatigue was beginning to gnaw at his brain. He couldn't fall asleep. If he did he was afraid he would never wake up again. Like Kate.

"Could I have some coffee, please?" he requested, craining his neck to see his superiors' reactions. "Sir?" He saw Jennifer nod, talking to the other two. They all seemed to agree about something. Desperate to stay awake, he hoped that they allowed him some form of caffeine.

"We'll have someone bring you some coffee soon." Sam relayed, her voice booming through the speaker system. "Hang in there, Lorne!" she encouraged him, noting his tense form.

The Major smiled feintly at her enthusiasm. "Yes, ma'am."

He began to pace again when John and Sam moved away from the window. Only Jennifer remained in the observation room, nervously looking down at him.

And so, he was back to waiting.

 **~o~o~**

"Do you think it knows it's trapped?" John pondered, looking back at Sam as the two Colonels entered her office.

Sam moved to perch on her desk, her arms crossed, while John moved further into the room. "I don't know. Why?" she responded.

"Maybe there's a way to…" John floundered, waving his hand. "I don't know, _reason_ with it."

"Being in Dr. Weir's old office made you think of that, did it?"

"Normally I just shoot the bad guys," John grumbled.

Before he could continue, Ronon, Teyla and Rodney joined them.

"We just heard," Ronon announced in his deep baritone.

"There must be something we can do," Teyla pleaded. Her tone was even but John knew she was fearful to lose another friend.

Sam slid off the edge of her desk. "That's what we were talking about." She turned back to John. "Okay, let's say for a second you could somehow communicate with it. What are you planning on saying?"

"I don't know," John ground out, frustrated at the whole situation. "I haven't gotten that far."

"It strikes me that if it feeds on fear, or worse, it likes the thrill of killing its host, then…" Sam trailed off when John's eyes met hers. His eyes were ablaze. The fire that burned in him flared, silently threatening her to continue that train of thought. "...well, then it would take the last chance that it had."

"To kill Lorne," John stated.

Sam sighed and looked down at her clasped hands.

Then a thought suddenly sprang to John's mind. "What about survival?" he asserted. Snapping his fingers he looked over at Rodney. "It's trapped. Will it die without a living host to transfer to?"

"I wasn't hoping to find out," Rodney admitted, fidgeting under the Colonel's intense gaze.

Teyla spoke up, "We could give it the chance to leave, go home."

"Back into the crystal."

John shrugged. "Yeah, why not? Send it through the 'gate back to its planet."

"I've heard of people being talked through waking dreams before," Sam said. "Maybe… maybe Lorne can be hypnotized into a state where he could somehow communicate with it."

"I'm sorry, what?" Ronon interrupted. "You want Lorne to _ask_ this thing to leave?"

"We _are_ talking about Lorne," John admitted. "If anyone can do it, he can."

"Yeah, I guess we're lucky in that regard," Rodney commented, smiling morosely. "Imagine if it was _me_ with that thing in my head. I wouldn't last the first round, forget about a second possession!"

"Please don't even joke about that," John deadpanned, folding his arms self-consciously against his stomach. A whole new level of panic set in. He didn't want to think about losing his best friend to that alien being, let alone Lorne.

"I have faith in Major Lorne, I do," Sam started, noticing the uneasy feeling that began to permeate every corner of her office. "But he's up against a creature that is apparently capable of manipulating his subconscious… We saw what happened to him the last time he was under it's influence."

"I wish there was a way for one of us to get in there," John sighed, speaking more to himself than to his team.

Sam raised her brow. "Into Lorne's dreams?"

"Yeah, you know, help him out, give him a little moral support." John began to pace. "Come on, all the things you've seen you've never come across a way for one person to get into another person's dreams?"

A thoughtful look passed over Sam's face. Shaking her finger at John, as if to say his idea was a great one, she nearly sprinted out of her office.

"Where's she going?" Rodney demanded. "What's going on?"

"I don't know, but I think I'm about the see a side of Lorne that I never wanted to see."

"It does not have to be you," Teyla said.

"Yeah, well, it's my bad idea." John walked out after Sam, following her retreating form.

The next two hours was a blur of activity. Once Sam relayed her idea to Rodney and Radek, they were fairly confident they would be able to complete the task. But they needed time and materials to construct an apparatus for support two living people at once. Sam was able to briefly explain what the scientists were trying to accomplish.

"We first encountered the technology ten years ago on a planet where the survivors of a holocaust were living entirely in a virtual world created in their minds," she told them. "Since then, we've managed to modify the use of the VR training for SG team members. It only took some minor calibrations to tune it into subconscious activity."

"So Sheppard is is actually going to see Lorne's dreams?" Ronon asked.

Sam pursed her lips. "Well, to be honest, the technology is untested for use in this manner. Dreams are much more random than conscious thought. It may be difficult for the system to translate what is going on in Lorne's brain so Colonel Sheppard can understand it. I'm just hoping that the two of them will be able to interact in someway."

It sounded so simple when Sam explained it. But John knew there was more than what she was letting on. Virtual realities were always iffy technology. And Rodney was nervous about the whole thing, which was never a good sign.

John was able to briefly peek at one of the computer calculations before Rodney shooed him away. If he was reading the math correctly, there were a dozen or so complications that could occur, ranging from death to permanent paralysis. While John was willing to suffer the risks to save Lorne from a known fate with an uncertain solution, he was only one half of the equation. The Major also needed to consent, it was his subconsciousness afterall.

While the scientists continued to work, John went to the observation room to talk to Lorne.

The Major had long ago given up pacing about the perimeter of the room. At some point a Marine must have brought him a plush chair from the infirmary's waiting area for him to sit on. Lorne was slouched over, resting his forehead on the cool surface of the table. Several empty coffee cups surrounded his head, creating a disfigured halo. His eyes were wide open, his pupils dilated. His hair was stuck up in all directions from when he run his hands over his head in frustration.

He looked absolutely miserable.

John unmuted the room's speakers. "How are you doing, Lorne?"

The Colonel must have startled the soldier because Lorne almost completely fell out of his chair. "Sir," he addressed him. John noted the dark bags collecting under Lorne's eyes, giving the Major a sickly look. "Any news?"

John gave him a little grin. "Yeah, we think we might have a solution. Essentially we want to convince the entity to go back into the crystal."

"How are you going to do that?"

"We have some virtual reality tech that will allow someone to enter your dreams. We hope that the combined mental ability of two people will break the creature's hold. Maybe we can talk it down, let it release you."

While Lorne seemed relieved there was some semblance of hope for him, but he still was hesitant and uncertain.

"Colonel Sheppard?"

"Yes, Lorne?"

"Who's going to enter my dreams?"

"I am."

Lorne nervously licked his lips. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Of course, Lorne. What is it?"

"I don't think you should be the one to do it."

John furrowed his brow. "What? Why not?"

"It's just that- well, you see, you're my…" He stopped, took a deep breath, and tried again. "My nightmares aren't pretty."

John scoffed. "If they were, I would be concerned."

Lorne gave him a weak smile.

Taking pity, John said, "Look, Lorne, I know this might be awkward for you. I'm your commanding officer, after all. But we think I may have the best chance of helping you inside your dreams. This creature has taken on my appearance. If there were suddenly two of me in your head it might snapped you out of the nightmare faster. Plus, other than Teyla, I'm one of the few people on Atlantis who has successfully entered an altered state of consciousness through meditation," John explained, referencing his time spent among the Ancients stuck in the time dilation field.

Lorne still seemed a little reluctant to the idea so John continued to speak, "You should have nothing to worry about. McKay and Zelenka will be inside the room with us at all times. Dr. Keller will even be on hand in case something happens. You'll be in good hands." He paused. "Now, if you don't want to do this, we won't," John said, sincerely. "But, if you don't do this, I can't guarantee that you'll make it out of that room alive. You will collapse of exhaustion eventually, and then I'm afraid we won't be able to help you. So please, trust me when I say, we won't do anything without your consent."

Lorne took in a deep breath. "Okay."

"So you'll give it a try?"

"What have we got to lose, sir?" the Major replied, solemnly.

"Lose? I never lose, Major. You should know that by now."

A half hour later, Jennifer and Rodney and Radek entered the quarantine in hazmat suits. With them came a slew of equipment. First they brought in a pair of cots. The Doctor also carried in an emergency medical kit, some IVs, and a defibrillator. The scientists' equipment was slightly bulkier. To Lorne, it looked like the contents of their entire lab. Eventually the crystals - one dead and one alive - were brought in. A power conduit was attached to each confinement container. Rodney hoped that the extra energy would further appeal to the creature to return to its original form. Several long cables tangled underneath the legs of the cots and into the complex machines the scientists brought along.

When everything was set up, John joined Lorne in the isolation room. The Colonel did not wear a hazmat suit, just a pair of uniform pants and a black t-shirt. Both soldiers were directed to a different cot. Nodules were attached to their temples before finally hooked up to a sinister looking grey box.

Lorne was terrified. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists. He didn't want to fall asleep. He was fairly certain he knew what he was going to dream about - Baliter and the events of PXK-233. He was pretty sure John knew it too.

Turning his head to the side, he looked over at John. The lanky soldier seemed relaxed. His hands were nicely clasped on his stomach. His face was slack and smiling. His body was completely still. But Lorne knew better. He could see the pinch around the Colonel's eyes and the tension in his shoulders. He was just as scared as Lorne. He just hid it better.

Feeling Lorne's gaze, John turned to look at him.

"You sure about this, sir?" Lorne asked for the third time in the past few minutes.

"Not really," the Colonel coolly replied.

"We're ready if you are," Jennifer stated.

John nodded at her.

"Thanks," Lorne suddenly blurted out.

John frowned slightly. "I haven't done anything yet."

"For trying, sir," the Major clarified.

"You're welcome, Lorne."

Jennifer placed a needle in Lorne's IV. "Administering the sedative," she announced.

In the course of a few seconds, Lorne went limp. Completely asleep.

The Colonel watched him for a few moments. When he realized he was still in the isolation room, he said, "Nothing's happening here."

"He's not dreaming yet," Jennifer replied calmly.

John was about to answer when he suddenly blinked out of existence.

 **~o~o~**

 _A/N:_ **Oh no, poor Lorne! I want to say I feel bad that I made the alien entity return to Lorne, but then I would be lying. I never really liked Rodney's dream sequence in the original** Doppelganger **episode: it was too short and too predictable. It did not add to the wonderful characterization he had gained in previous episodes. Furthermore, I really wanted John to go into Lorne's head and see what he's dreaming and what he's feeling. Who knows what he'll learn?**

 **I also tried to include some speculation about how Lorne originally became infected with the creature. I never really could figure out if the alien entity was only traveling by touch in the very beginning. I think it was one of the biggest plot holes in the episode.**

 **I originally planned to have this chapter include Lorne's dream sequence, but I eventually decided to give it its own chapter. This way the exposition wouldn't be too long and we could have a intense chapter for next time. Big things are happening, I'm so excited to share them with you.**

 **Again, thank you for all the love and support. Your reviews are very appreciated. Until next time… XOXO**


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **Thank you for all the reviews, favorites, and follows. My notifications for his story have been going crazy. Its really amazing to have a wonderful response when this is the first kind of 'romance' story I have ever attempted. Its great!**

 **This chapter is the last in the** Doppelganger **story arc. As such, the nightmare sequences, the final showdown, and the conclusion occur in this chapter. (After that we will be moving forward with the story.) So please, enjoy!**

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

The stone hallway was pitch black. A single torch mounted on the wall offered a sliver of light. In its flickering flame the shadows ebbed and flowed, moving to and fro in a grotesque form of dance. The sound of pounding feet and heavy breathing bounced off the thick walls. Echoing. Reverberating until it became almost impossible to find its source.

Lorne scampered down the corridor, briefly stopping to snatch the torch from its mounting.

There was no escape from the suffocating darkness. No matter how long or how far Lorne ran he always ended up before a wooden door. A vaguely familiar door. He pondered opening it to see what was beyond, but every time a sickening feeling coiled in his gut preventing him from touching it. Instead he ran.

And ran.

And ran.

"Evan? Evan, where are you?" a voice eerily echoed down the abandoned hallway.

The soldier stopped and turned. He raised the torch high above his head, trying to cast out the shadows that bit at his ankles. "Oh no. No no no no no," he chanted. His heartbeat quickened. His chest constricted. His head pounded. His breath faltered.

Lorne could count the number of people who called him by his first name on just one hand. His mother. His sister. A few close friends. And _him_.

Baltier.

" _Give up._ "

Another voice. Different this time.

Lorne spun. Dizzy. Before him was John, casually leaning against the wall without a care in the world. " _You'll never escape him._ "

"S-sir?"

" _You're too weak._ "

Before Lorne could answer Baltier came hurtling down the hall. Unprepared for the sandy-haired man's sudden appearance, all Lorne could do was throw his hands over his head for protection. A second later, a thick shoulder caught him in the stomach. Lorne gaged and tumbled to the hard, cold ground. The torch fell from his grip, sparking as it rolled to rest at John's feet.

Cold hands grappled with Lorne, clutching at the thin fabric covering his legs. Panicked, the Major tried to crawl away. He didn't get very far until he was yanked back. His nails scraped at the cold stone as he was dragged away from John and the fading light of the torch.

"Help me! Sir!" Lorne all but cried.

John sneered, " _Why would I want to help you?_ "

The downed soldier gasped.

"That's not me, Lorne! Don't listen to him!" Another John suddenly appeared next to the first.

"Wha-"

" _You're pathetic, you might as well give up._ "

Lorne screamed as he was jerked back another few inches.

"Don't be afraid," the second John whispered, reaching out to him.

He tried. He really did. But he couldn't. The darkness was closing in. The cold hands were moving up to his belt. He couldn't.

"Come with me, Evan," Baltier cooed in his ear. "Don't worry, you'll like this."

"No no no no no no…" Lorne scrambled to grab hold of something, anything, but it was too late. He was gone; swallowed by the shadows, paralyzed with fear, helplessly dragged back to the familiarly doorway before he was flung into the dark abyss.

 **~o~o~**

John watched, terrified, as Lorne was dragged out of sight.

Whimpers. Screams. Cries. All echoed back to John, mocking him.

If he didn't know any better, he would have thought this to be his nightmare, not Lorne's.

Rushing to follow after the retreating form, John scooped up the dropped torch. His nightmare self had disappeared, fading back into the shadows, leaving him alone.

It didn't take long for him to find Lorne and Baltier. John easily found the heavy wooden door, set ajar, waiting for him to enter. Not wanting to fail, the Colonel squared his shoulders and prepared for battle. The light of his torch revealed two figures struggling against one another.

"No, please, stop," Lorne begged, weakly grappling at his captor.

"Hush, Evan, it'll feel real good soon, just you wait," Baltier soothed as he carried the limp Major toward the center of the room.

There, in a halo of light, was a bed.

Just then, the Colonel's double reappeared. " _You deserved this_ ," not-John hissed.

"Shut up!" the real John yelled in return, flinging the torch at his duplicate. "Don't listen to him, Lorne!"

His second in command did not respond. Instead, John heard a loud ripping sound and a thud. He spun and saw Lorne cowering on the ground before Baltier, his torn uniform in the rapist's grip. Lorne seemed frozen in fear, unmoving, as Baltier kicked him in the chest, completely flooring him.

John found himself running forward, plowing into Lorne's attacker. But he wasn't able to land a successful blow before his nightmare self yanked him off, sending John flying into the far wall.

John groaned as he slid to the floor. He hurt. Why did he hurt? This was just a dream, right?

"No! John, please, help me," Lorne cried.

John raised his head to find Baltier straddling Lorne's waist. One of the sandy-haired man's hands circled around Lorne's neck while the other lazily trailed down his naked chest. Baltier then moved to unbuckled Lorne's pants. John grew nauseous at the sight; the position was all too familiar, mimicking the events of PXK-233.

" _You can struggle all you want,_ " not-John gloated, " _but you're not going to get away_."

John stumbled to his feet and made another rush at Baltier. "Lorne, listen to me. This isn't real. Don't be afraid. Don't give him what he wants."

Tears began to form in the corner of Lorne's eyes. "I c-can't. Please," he choked.

"He can't really hurt you," John said, falling to his knees.

Not-John smirked, " _That's where you're wrong._ "

Baltier smirked as his other hand joined his first, gripping powerfully at Lorne's exposed jugular. The Major let out a strangled gasp, reacting to the sudden lack of oxygen. His hands grappled at his neck. His eyes wildly rolled around. His legs flailed. His mouth opened a gaping yawn. His chest heaved.

"If I can't have him, no one can," Baltier sneered.

"J-j-john…" Lorne gasped, his lips turning blue.

Then, with a sickening snap, Baltier twisted Lorne's head to the side.

Hands froze in their pathetic movement to gain air and fell limp. His eyes open and unseeing. His body completely still. His chest quiet.

Lorne was dead.

And John woke, softly gasping.

A flurry of activity raced around him. The occupants of the isolation room rushed to Lorne's aid.

"What happened?" John asked, trying to sit up but not quite finding the strength.

"CLEAR!" Jennifer yelled, applying the defibrillator paddles to the Major's exposed chest.

A buzz and zap echoed across the room. Lorne arched off the bed, hundreds of volts of electricity flowing through him. The steady, monotonous beep of his EKG sounded.

Deadline.

Finally, John was able to gather enough energy to set himself on the edge of his cot. He slowly peeled off the nodes attached to his temples. He felt the color drain from his face as Lorne refused to wake. The Colonel glanced over at Rodney, looking for some explanation.

"He's in cardiac arrest," the balding scientist informed him.

Setting aside the machine, Jennifer started compressions while Radek pumped oxygen into the soldier's airway. Everyone held their breath. Hoping for a miracle.

But his heart did not start again.

"I'm sorry," Jennifer whispered, "I've done all I can. I'm calling it..."

John looked over at Lorne's still body. He looked peaceful. As if he was sleeping, dreaming. Only dreaming.

"He's dead," the Doctor announced.

John blinked several times, trying to rid them of the salt and water that was threatening to fall. His gaze was drawn to the observation window where Sam, Ronon, and Teyla waited. Each one stood stock still, shock and sorrow etched onto every curve of their faces.

"There's was nothing you could do, John," Teyla said, her voice crackled over the speaker system. "It was already too late."

John sank to his knees, head buried in his hands. His friends watched him, varying degrees of sympathy on their faces. After a few moments they began to trail out the room, leaving him alone with Lorne's body. John didn't know how long he knelt there, on the edge of a breakdown.

Dead. Lorne was dead. Gone. Never to return.

Now he could never tell Lorne how he felt. Everything he ever wanted to do. All the plans he had. All gone. He regretted every opportunity where he could have confessed his love to the Major but he didn't. Like when he first thought he lost Lorne to the Genii. Or maybe during one of their many training sessions. Or possibly when they rescued each other from the Wraith a dozen times over. Or after PXK-233, when he was in the infirmary still recovering from the effects of the drug. Or maybe during their team lunches… But he was always so pathetic. So scared of rejection. And look where it got him. He was alone. All alone.

He would never have a chance now. Twice John had watched the man he loved die right before his eyes. And it was all his fault. If only he was stronger, or faster, or more convincing.

"Fuck," he breathed. "I'm am so sorry, Lorne. I'm so fucking sorry."

As much as John wanted to cry, he refused. He retreated into an emotionless shell. Nothing. He felt nothing. He refused to feel anything ever again. Feeling made him vulnerable, weak, insignificant. Oh God, so insignificant.

Collecting himself, John stood. He walked over to Lorne's body. Limp. Dead. Peaceful. So peaceful. He gently bent down and placed a chaste kiss on the soldier's brow. He sighed, momentarily resting his forehead on Lorne's. Then, turning, he walked out the room, never to look back.

John shuffled down the hall. Atlantis was quiet. Night had fallen. He passed one of the city's many expansive windows. The stars were veiled by clouds. Not even the two moons could shine through their thick cover. It was dark and bleak and depressing and oh so fitting.

He was lethargic. His limbs weren't moving properly.

After minutes of wandering aimlessly, John finally encountered Jennifer. John opened his mouth to say 'hello', but before he could greet her, she said, "This is all your fault, John."

His jaw snapped shut.

Then suddenly Ronon was there. "If you didn't touch that stupid rock, Lorne would still be alive right now," he growled.

"Some friend you are," Rodney pipped up from somewhere behind him.

John spun to find not only Rodney but also Sam and Radek there, surrounding him. He gulped.

"I thought you were going to help him," the Czech scientist accused, shaking his head.

"I tried," John said. But the words stuck to his throat, making them strained and choked.

"Colonel," Sam sniffed, wrinkling her nose in distain, "you've been compromised. I'm relieving you of duty."

John was about to reply when he saw something out of the corner of his eye. There, right there, a dark figure was lurking in the shadows. It was his nightmare self!

His double glared at him. Its features twisted into a horrible mockery of emotion.

"Son of a bitch," John whispered. Ignoring all his supposed friends - all figments of his nightmare he presumed - the Colonel ran after his other self. Grabbing hold of its shoulders, John flung the both of them through the wall as if it was liquid.

The identical duo slammed into the ground. They were no longer in the hallway near the crew's quarters. Now they were in the control room. The Stargate was active. The event horizon shimmering and shifting with its unnatural blue light.

The duplicate was on his back while John grabbed at the collar of its shirt, holding him in place. Growling, the creature twisted one of his hands away, forcing him off its body and onto the floor. John rolled away, putting distance between the two of them. They both stood, circling each other. Each a predator and the other its prey.

"You can quit now, I'm not afraid of you," John ground out.

" _Oh, yes you are_ ," his nightmare self smiled, " _I'm the one thing you are afraid of. Me and your failure to protect the one's you love. You failed Lorne. You brought this on him and there is_ nothing _you could do to stop it. His death is your fault. It's all you fault._ "

All previous feeling that John had locked away came bursting through the floodgate of his mind. Sadness. Guilt. Shame. Anger. Rage. Using those emotions, John surged forward, striking the creature.

Its head snapped to the side. The creature bared its teeth and immediately retaliated. Punch. Jab. Block. Kick. Punch. Chop. Block. Repeat. Blow after blow was dealt. Both received several hits before the duplicate landed a particularly devastating uppercut. While John was dazed the creature kicked him in the ribs, sending him back several paces.

John wheezed. Hands on his knees, he gasped for breath. The nightmare monster smirked, tilting its head to the side before lashing out again. But John was prepared. He caught the leg flying in his direction and used its momentum to jerk his other self forward. And then they were at it again. Punch. Kick. Block. Block. Jab. A spin kick collided with John's temple, sending him hurtling to the ground. It took him longer this time to get up.

He was fighting himself, and he was losing.

Not waiting for John to recover, the creature punched him hard. John slammed back onto his knees. He could barely catch his breath. After a moment John crawled away, bringing his hand to his face, checking to see if his nose was broken. It wasn't.

John stumbled back to his feet, wildly swinging at the creature. Blindly hoping that he could land any blow. He was easily blocked and earned another strike to his face. John moaned. And, in his inattention, the nightmare monster grabbed a hold of his shoulders and flung him with super strength across the 'gate room and into the wall, denting it. John slid to the ground, unwilling to get back up and continue to fight. But he had no choice.

The creature grabbed John by the front of his shirt and lift him up. Turning him around, it threw him through the air and onto the top of the main staircase.

John rolled until he stopped. He was gasping for oxygen. His ribs ached. His head pounded. His face throbbed. His heart stuttered.

The sound of pounding boots came closer and closer as the creature mounted the stairs. John flopped onto his back and turned so he could see his other self calmly approach, confidence oozing from every pore. Refusing to give up, John pulled himself back up, rocking drunkenly on his feet. He threw his best glare at the creature but it appeared unfazed. It punched him again and again and again.

Eventually John was able to move out of the way. The creature's fist connected with the wall and, with a crunch, plowed right through its nearly impenetrable material. While the his duplicate was busy pulling its hand out of the hole it created, John sucker punched the nightmare monster. He tried to throw another right hook but his fist was blocked. With renewed energy, their dance began again.

Not surprisingly, John ended back on the floor. And, every time he tried to get up, the creature would kick him back down. One final kick sent him over the edge of the railing. He tumbled toward the Stargate, a strangled scream escaping his raw throat.

His double casually leaped over the balcony and landed on its feet. The creature had barely broken a sweat and sported no visible injury, despite the hits John had happened to land early on during their fight. When John didn't immediately rise, it ordered, " _Get up!_ "

John just curled into a into a fetal position, wishing it would all just end.

" _Come on, John_ ," it called in a sing-song voice. " _FIGHT!_ "

"No," he groaned. "That's what you want."

The creature frowned before changing tactics, trying to provoke the downed Colonel. " _Major Lorne_ ," it sneered, " _you loved him. And you couldn't protect him._ "

John whimpered, pulling himself into a tighter ball.

" _It's your fault Lorne is dead!_ "

"I'm not dead!"

The creature slowly turned. There, Lorne slowly walked down the main staircase. Purpose and strength in each step. Lorne grinned. John's duplicate howled in rage and rushed forward. It grabbed the Major's neck and slammed him back into a pillar. Lorne gripped the creature's wrists, applying as much pressure and he could and pushed back.

" _You can't win_ ," not-John snarled.

"Yes, we can. You're vulnerable to electric shock that's why I'm still alive. You left before you could finish the job."

John slowly sat back up, hearing Lorne's admission. Alive! He was still alive.

Just then, lightning struck. Large bolts of crackling electricity sprouted from the ceiling and the walls and the floor, striking at the creature. It screamed in pain. Its form stretching and wavering and morphing in unpleasant ways.

"What the fuck was that?" John gasped.

"Defibrillator," Lorne told him.

Another burst of lightning appeared, sending John's nightmare self to its knees. Its arms flew up to protect its face. Its whole body began to spasm. Taking advantage of the creature's weakened state, John surged to his feet and moved behind his duplicate. He snatched the collar of its uniform and whirled it around. With a mighty heave, he dragged it toward the Stargate. The creature struggled faintly. And, with one final thrust, John threw the creature into the event horizon. Never to return.

"Are you, um, you, sir?" Lorne spoke up from behind him.

John turned to look at the other man. "I'm me."

"Good you or bad you?"

"I'm me me." John paused. "Are you you?"

"I think so, sir," Lorne smiled gently, moving forward to greet his commanding officer.

John sighed. "Good, 'cause for a second there I thought I was going to lose."

"Lose? We never lose, Colonel," Lorne grinned, mimicking the man's words from earlier, "You should know that by now."

"Right you are, Major," John smirked in reply.

"You ready to get out of here?"

John finally came to stand in front of Lorne and, patting him on the arm, said, "Lead the way."

 **~o~o~**

"CLEAR!" Jennifer shouted, applying the paddles to Lorne's chest. His back arched and collapsed. The EKG blared, not detecting a heartbeat. The room held its breath, waiting for a miracle.

Jennifer was about to try again when the Major slowly opened his eyes. Lorne looked around the room wildly before resting his eyes on Jennifer. "It's okay. It's okay. Just try to relax," she soothed.

"What's going on?" he gasped.

"You were in cardiac arrest."

"The entity?"

"It's in Colonel Sheppard," Radek replied, looking over his shoulder at the other soldier on the cot.

Jennifer rushed over to her other patient and began examining the active equipment. "His heart rate is dangerous high," she reported.

"Can you wake him up?" Sam asked over the speakers.

The Doctor turned to glanced up at the observation room. "I could try but, in his physical state, that could make things worse."

"Yes," Radek agreed. "And the entity would still be in him."

"But why did the creature leave Lorne?" Rodney asked, tapping on his hand-held data pad. "If it enjoys killing its host so much, why did it leave when his heart stopped?"

Radek leaned over and pointed at a data spike, "Look at this. It didn't attempt to flee until we used the defibrillator. Perhaps that is its weakness. Electricity, no?"

"Yes, that's it!" Rodney exclaimed. He began typing furiously. "It cannot sustain it hold over the host when an electrical current interferes."

Lorne didn't even consider what he said next. "Hook me up to him again," he ordered.

"Major? Are you sure?" Jennifer looked at him curiously, as if doubting his judgment.

"Its his only chance," he nodded, settling back down onto the cot. "I can help him keep the entity at bay. Then you can zap him with the defibrillator… can you find a frequency that would harm the creature but not stop Sheppard's heart?"

"Of course," Rodney scoffed.

"Do it," Sam commanded.

Jennifer rushed back over to him, adjusting the equipment. She reapplied the nodes to his temple and reinserted the IV into his arm. Lorne looked back over at John. The Colonel was paler, beads of sweat rolled off his forehead. Lorne feared he didn't have a lot of time. John could only fight against the entity for so long. Looking back at Jennifer, he watched her turn on the VR machine.

It wasn't like falling asleep. It was a flash. Sudden. Disoridenting. Lorne blinked. One moment he was in the isolation room and then he wasn't.

Lorne found himself standing in one of the many hallways of Atlantis. All alone.

He started running down the corridors, searching for his commanding officer. Turn after turn after turn brought him nowhere. He didn't know where John was located. Atlantis was too big to search singlehandedly. As he ran down another hallway, Lorne heard a noise. He stopped. It was faint, but he definitely heard something. Straining his ears he heard it again - a muffled cry. Below, the sound was coming from underneath him.

The control room!

Rushing with new purpose, Lorne bounded down the nearest staircase. When he reached the correct floor he found the entrance to be blocked. The doors were sealed, but with a little effort, Lorne was able to pry them open.

He crept passed the DHD, not wanting to alert the creature to his presence. The Stargate was active, casting a hauntingly blue glow over the whole room. There was movement below. The sounds of uneven breathing and heavy foot falls.

" _Get up!_ " Lorne heard a voice, one that sounded like the Colonel but had an air of malice. " _Come on, John. FIGHT!_ "

There was a groan. "No, that's what you want."

Lorne peered over the edge of the balcony. Beneath him were two Johns. One walked with purpose across the 'gate's platform toward the other. The second John was curled up in a ball, protecting his face and his ribs. He was heaving, clearly in pain. Lorne immediately knew who was who. His John needed help. He stood and prepared himself to make his appearance but the next words the creature said stopped him short.

" _Major Lorne_ ," it sneered, " _you loved him. And you couldn't protect him._ "

Lorne saw John curl into himself. Not denying the words.

Love? Lorne's heart stuttered. Was it possible? Could John really be in love with him?

" _It's your fault Lorne is dead!_ " the nightmare being said, continuing its psychological attack.

The Major shook his head, now wasn't the time to contemplate his love life. So steeling himself, Lorne emerged and stated, "I'm not dead!" Taking one stair at a time, he confidently strode forward, grinning. The creature slowly turned around to face him, teeth bared and growling. It rushed forward, grabbed him by the neck, and slammed him into a pillar. Lorne grappled with the nightmare being, grimacing in disgust.

They exchanged words, gloats of destruction and triumph, between themselves. Meanwhile, Lorne saw John slowly struggle back to his feet. Shock and hope graced the Colonel's face. He watched in awe as Lorne fought the creature.

John flinched when lightning appeared out nowhere, striking his duplicate. It screeched and convulsed in pain. Its form twisted until it became a mere imitation of the Colonel, a caricature. John eventually snatched the creature by the collar and dragged it to the Stargate's event horizon, and tossed it through, leaving nothing but ripples in its wake.

Slowly, Lorne's adrenaline flooded away. His automatic banter and responses to John's queries faded and he finally was able to really get a good look at his commanding officer. John was nearly white, deep lines of pain were etched into his brow. His breathing was shallow, small puffs and wheezes. His forehead was slick with sweat. His fists hung loosely by his side, bloody and bruised. But he was smiling. A big, goofy grin despite it all. His gaze never wavered from Lorne's face. His eyes bright, sparkling with love and admiration.

There it was again. Love.

Lorne desperately wanted to ask him if what the creature had said was true. But he didn't; it was neither the time nor the place. So instead he inquired, "You ready to get out of here?"

John reached out and compassionately patted him on the arm and said, "Lead the way."

Lorne smiled softly and blinked. Then they were both back in the isolation room. Radek and Rodney moved about them busily. The two scientist were yanking cables out of the containment chambers. Each crystal sparkled brightly. The entity had returned to its home.

Lorne closed his eyes sluggishly. It was harder to awaken the second time. Breathing deeply he glanced over to where John rested. The Colonel's eyes were open and responsive. His shoulders were tense. His lips quivered for a moment before he looked over at Lorne. Their eyes met and John's body relaxed.

Smiling at him weakly, the Major collapsed back into the cot. He was tired. Exhausted. His brain was overworked and needed to rest. Hibernation seemed like an appealing idea. But Jennifer refused to let him leave, he had temporarily died afterall. She checked him over, taking his pulse and checking his pupils. When she finally admitted that he probably didn't need to spend the night in the infirmary - if and only if he returned in the morning for a check-up. Lorne readily agreed. He made to leave but John stopped him.

"Thank you, Lorne. You didn't have to come back..."

The Major's lips quirked into the semblance of a smile. "I had to, sir. Who else would keep McKay in line?" He heard Rodney squawk in the background. "Besides, I don't think I'm quite ready for a promotion."

John chortled. "That's a shame, you're so damn good at paperwork. The IOA would love you."

Lorne wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Go get some rest, Lorne. We'll take care of this mess." John gestured to the crystals.

"Yes, sir."

 **~o~o~**

Later that night, after John and the team returned the crystal beings to their home planet, the Colonel found himself on the cafeteria's balcony. He slowly munched on a bowl of fruit while reading _War and Peace_. He had been secretly hoping to see another light show in the sky, but he knew it would be unlikely. In all reality, John just wasn't ready to go back to sleep anytime soon.

After about a half hour Lorne joined him at the table.

"Couldn't sleep," the Major stated, pulling up a chair to sit across from his commanding officer.

"Yeah, me, too," John confessed.

They peacefully sat in silence before John set aside his novel and leaned forward. "Lorne?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Your nightmare…"

Lorne flinched, recalling the terrifying dream. His total mercy at the hands of Baltier. And the nightmare monster mocking him. Telling him he deserved it. It hurt to remember.

"...please believe me when I say I would never intentionally hurt you."

"I know, sir," Lorne whispered. "It was just a dream, after all."

"It doesn't matter." John shook his head.

"You're right," the Major spoke, "it doesn't matter. So don't apologize. None of this is your fault. Not when the team got infected, or when Kate died, or when the entity came back to me. It was an accident you even touched the crystal in the first place. It was all that creature's fault."

John smiled grimly. "Here I am, trying to comfort you, and you're trying make me feel better."

"You might keep McKay in line, sir, but I keep you in line."

The Colonel huffed.

Lorne turned his head to look up at the sparkling stars. The two moons hung low and bright. There wasn't a cloud in the sky.

"Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if you didn't come to Atlantis?" he asked.

"No," John responded honestly, his eyes also drawn to the majesty above him.

"Yeah, me neither."

The conversation lulled and they sat in silence, just gazing at the stars.

Ronon eventually appeared. He plopped a whole tray of food down on the table. "I thought I'd have a little snack before…" The Satedan trailed off, not really buying his own excuse.

"Yeah, we couldn't sleep either," John said, smiling sympathetically.

Not to long after Jennifer joined them. Then McKay. Then Sam and Teyla. Eventually the whole group was quietly munching on food and chatting amongst themselves. It was nice, John supposed. They had survived. They were here. And they were together.

 **~o~o~**

 _A/N:_ **I absolutely loved writing this chapter! The conclusion was a little cheesy but it was authentic to the original SGA episode. The fighting sequence took me forever to write. It was complicated and I really tried to copy it blow for blow from the episode. It did, however, give me an excuse to watch the fighting sequence in** Doppleganger **several times in a row.**

THE REVEAL! **(You probably thought Lorne would confess to John, didn't you?) Anyway, now Lorne knows that John loves him. What is he going to do with that information? Does he doubt what he heard? Will he confess his own crush to the Colonel? What's going to happen next? Ahh, so many questions! So many possibilities!**

 **Never fear my friends, all will be answered! I have up to another ten chapters or so planned for this story, so the adventure will not be ending anytime soon.**

 **Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **I've had a lot of requests for smut, but I will tell you it's not in the plan for this story for several more chapters. I am writing this story for the romance and character development. I don't plan on writing anything more explicit than the first chapter, so if that's what you're here for then I'm sorry to disappoint. I do, however, guarantee some good romance and emotional revelations.**

 **That being said, I also have to say that this story is far from over. Another sub-plot is being added in this chapter, including a new character and an awesome new adventure involving our favorite life-sucking aliens - the Wraith. So stay tuned!**

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

It had been a week since the team settled on the cafeteria's balcony and simply enjoyed each other's company.

The events of that night were traumatic. They had all suffered their own personal nightmares. Even Sam and Rodney, who never had to experience the alien creature's horrible manipulation, confessed a terrible fear when Lorne and John were stuck in their own dreams, when their only options were to fight or die.

They were all haunted by the nightmare monster. And it took awhile, but each member of the team slowly was able to shake off the horrific experience. Ronon and John sparred for hours on end. Rodney threw himself into his work. Sam took the opportunity to go off-world and negotiate a treaty with one of their allies. Teyla mediated. Jennifer went to the mainland and offered free exams and lollipops to the Athosian children. Everyone seemed to be doing very well. Everyone, that is, except for Lorne.

The Major had detached himself from his friends. He mostly avoided team lunches and started working in his private quarters instead of his office. He temporarily canceled his three-quarter staff lessons with the Marines. He requested for his team to be taken off the duty roster. His free time was spent at the firing range or doing random odds-and-ends around Atlantis. And, while he had all but disappeared, the senior staff could not complain about any negligence in his work. The Major did his duty, just not with his usual energy or presence.

Everyone thought he was suffering from some delayed form of PTSD - perpetually stuck in his nightmare, trapped in the arms of Baltier. John tried to talk to him, but silly little emergencies kept getting in the way. Sam wanted him to meet with a psychiatrist but Kate's replacement had yet to arrive on Atlantis. Teyla also tried talking to Lorne, but he had so skillfully redirected the conversation that she didn't even realize it until he was walking away. They worried for him. This post traumatic stress, this obsessing over his nightmare, could not be healthy.

But, in reality, Lorne's mind keep going back to John's dream, not his own.

" _You loved him_."

A simple sentence. A simple stated fact. Oh, such a terrible confession.

Before Lorne had been satisfied to suffer through his crush when he assumed that John wasn't interested. It was easy to ignore his emotions, to push them aside and focus on whatever impending doom threatened Atlantis that week. Adventures in another galaxy allowed him ample distraction. He never had to worry about being in a relationship while on Atlantis. His crush on the Colonel allowed him to be uninterested in any other men, soldier or scientist, that crossed his path. And, when he thought John to simply be straight, it kept him in line - not acting on his feelings, admiring from a distance. He had always been content with their friendship.

And he did think the Colonel to be straight. He was a hopeless flirt and a tease. And John's track record did nothing to dispel that idea. Ancients. Princesses. He had been married for God's sake! So why would Lorne have assumed him to be anything other than strictly heterosexual. But now that he was presented with the idea that John wasn't necessarily as straight as he led other people to believe, _and_ that he loved Lorne… everything the Major thought he knew had flown out the window.

But, now that he knew what he knew, it all made sense.

A lingering hand on his shoulder. A little smile when their eyes met. A casual nod whenever he was in the vicinity. A trailing gaze on his back when he left the room. A cheeky grin when he laughed. A presence in the 'gate room when he went off-world. A concerned face when he was injured. A personable conversation when he was stressed out.

Small, little things he would have written off as John's mannerisms if he didn't know any better.

A hyper awareness of when he was in the room. A jealous frown whenever he hung out with friends. A worried glance when he was in trouble. A unneeded touch to get his attention. A welcome distraction when he had too much work to do.

But things were going to be different now. Oh, so different. What was he to do?

So, instead of acting on any of his feelings, Lorne deliberately avoided everyone. He remained alone with his thoughts for days on end. In shock and slightly panicked. And the more and more he thought about it, it all made sense. Which drove Lorne even more crazy. He imagined every possible scenario. Every possible reaction. Disgust. Acceptance. Rejection. Resistance. Denial. So many things could go wrong. Then again, so many things could go right.

But then Lorne thought about his life - his profession. He and John were both military after all.

The implication about what could happen to their military careers and the safety of Atlantis was horrifying in and of itself. Fraternization, let alone homosexual relationships, was strictly frowned upon. Lorne could get reassigned. John could lose his command, possibly even get kicked out of the Air Force. Their lives, in short, would be over. And not even all the love in the world could make Lorne risk that.

So Lorne made a decision. He would stay quiet. If John could keep his crush under wraps then he could too.

He knew things would never be the same. His ignorance was gone. He hated it. He hated that crystal being. He hated those nightmares. He hated that John was doing this to him. He hated himself for ever falling in love with his commanding officer.

He hated his life.

 **~o~o~**

John cornered him after breakfast.

"Have you been avoiding me, Major?" he accused, sounding no different than usual, if not a bit cross.

Putting up a front, Lorne smiled, "You would know if I was avoiding you, sir."

John huffed. "Then what have been doing this past week."

"Your paperwork, sir." It was a safe answer. He knew that John detested bureaucracy and took every possible opportunity to give it to Lorne.

John still didn't look satisfied with the answer. "I wasn't aware that I was so far behind."

"You've been busy, sir."

"So have you, apparently," John said. And his voice was so ordinary, so day to day, that Lorne had to turn and look at the man. Maybe he had been mistaken after all. Maybe he thought about the nightmare for too long, imprinting his own feelings onto his already heightened emotions. But, with one glance at John's expression he knew it was all true. It wasn't something you would notice if you didn't know the Colonel. But Lorne did know him. His eyes were warmer than usual, his face soft. The stress lines on his forehead were relaxed and his eyebrows weren't bunched together. It was subtle, so subtle that if he wasn't looking for it Lorne would have missed it all together.

John Sheppard had feelings for him. Of that Lorne was certain.

"What are you up to right now?"

Not willing to lie to the Colonel's face, he responded. "Nothing, sir."

"Well, the _Daedalus_ is set to land in a half hour and I have to supervise the new personnel. Care to join me?"

"Of course, sir," Lorne smiled, trying to cover up the uneasy feeling that was coiling in his gut. "Should be interesting. How many people are we expecting?" With each trip, the _Daedalus_ brought new recruits to the Atlantis expedition. While most of them were experts in their field - there to explore the new galaxy - many were there to replace the scientists and soldiers lost on the expedition. It was a perilous job, and it was unfortunate whenever someone on Atlantis died.

"About six or seven scientists and a dozen or so fresh Marines."

"No Air Force?" Lorne asked, dejected. There were never enough pilots on Atlantis and more were definitely needed.

"Not this time, Major."

They began their slow trek to the West Pier where the _Daedalus_ planned to beam down the new recruits and some much needed supplies. Despite himself, Lorne felt better in John's company. He knew he should be avoiding the man, but now that he was quietly walking with him Lorne felt different. Content. Peaceful. It was the opposite reaction he wanted to be having. How could he cover up his affection for the man if he was so relaxed around him?

When they reached the proper location, the duo was greeted by several personnel. Most of them were military, volunteers to help unload the heavier equipment. Two or three scientists hung around, probably waiting to greet a colleague or to receive a personal package from a loved one back home.

" _Colonel Sheppard?_ " a familiar voice echoed over John's earpiece.

"Go ahead, Chuck," he replied, clicking his headset.

" _Colonel Caldwell just entered orbit and requests admittance into the city._ "

"Go ahead and lower the shield," John conceded.

Above them, Atlantis' protective shield began to melt away, its golden edges collapsing on itself until it hit the water. Once it was completely gone, the first batch of arrivals beamed down. It was a group of Marines. One of the younger soldiers promptly stumbled to the side of the pier and vomited. "I got it," Lorne said, waving dismissively at John, already walking over to the young man. The Colonel hummed and made his way over the remaining men who snapped at attention as they were presented with their new commanding officer.

"You alright?" Lorne asked, laying a comforting hand on the young soldier's back.

"Yes, sir. I just wasn't prepared for it."

The Major smiled. "Don't worry, you aren't the first to become sick. I could tell you stories…" he trailed off suggestively before the familiar buzz of Asgard technology interrupted him. Lorne didn't need to turn around and to know another group had been transported down from the _Daedalus._ From the sound of many moving booted feet he guessed it was mostly supplies this time, not personnel. The young soldier finally collected himself and was able to walk back to the rest of his peers. John was before them, giving the standard lecture.

"...simple rules. If you follow them, you will survive." A few of the Marine tittered in response. "I'm serious, men!" John snapped. "The Wraith are ruthless. And some of our allies aren't much better. My advice, listen to the veterans, soldier and scientist alike. Never dismiss their warnings, they probably know more about a situation then you do. Now, how many of you have the ATA gene?"

Two of the dozen men raised their hands.

"Okay, never touch an Ancient device unless you know what it does. Also you'll have to go through flight training. All gene holders are required to learn. While you might not need to pilot them on the day to day, you may have to fly them during emergencies or in battle."

Seeing that John had everything under control, Lorne moved over to help carry some the heavier crates of weapons. Another shipment had beamed down. The pier was now a flurry of activity. Everyone was rushing around and collecting items. The Major worked for several grueling minutes hauling a box of replacement TAC vests. But then, just has he handed the crate into the ready arms of a Sergeant, he heard his name being called.

"Evan?"

Lorne furrow his brow. And turning, he was nearly thrown to the ground when someone jumped into his open arms.

"Wh-"

"Oh my God, Evan, it is you!"

Collecting himself, Lorne looked down at the petite body in his arms. A pair of big brown eyes, framed by strawberry blonde hair, gazed up at him. The Major grinned. He would recognize that face anywhere. "Gracie!"

Dr. Grace Richards nearly vibrated in excitement. "Who knew I had to travel to an entirely different galaxy just to see your ugly mug."

Laughing, Lorne picked up the woman and spun her in a circle before drawing her into a tight hug. "Shit, I missed you," he confessed. "How long has it been?"

"Years, Evan," Grace scolded. "And without so much as a letter." She playfully punched his shoulder.

Someone coughed behind him. Lorne glanced over his shoulder to see John standing there. A look of barely contained jealousy clouded the Colonel's features. "Who's this, Major?" he asked. His voice sounded casual enough but Lorne knew better.

"Sir, this is Dr. Richards. She's a linguist."

The woman stuck out her hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Colonel Sheppard. I've heard a lot about you."

"All good things I hope," John smirked, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Lorne pursed his lips. The man was back to flirting. It was his default setting it would seem. "And how do you know Major Lorne?"

"We used to date," Grace replied bluntly.

It was true. Sort of. Lorne had really been dating Grace's brother, Malcolm, in high school. But the boy's parents didn't know he was gay and had a boyfriend. So Grace generously posed as Lorne's girlfriend so he could hang out with Malcolm undisturbed. Sleepovers were particularly fun. Because her parents wouldn't allow Lorne to sleep in the same room as Grace, he always crashed with her brother. It was an ingenious plan really. And, even after he and Malcolm broke up, Lorne kept in contact with Grace. All throughout college they hung out. Their fake girlfriend/boyfriend routine became a private joke between them. And, over the years, they monopolized on it, taking each other as dates to many events that they were not willing to go to alone or with strangers. Now they were still good friends, nothing more.

John grimaced at the response. "Oh," he breathed, clearly not expecting the answer. He peered closer at their current position, arms around each other, reevaluating their entire relationship.

Not willing to put up with John's jealousy, Lorne turned back to his friend. "How's Malcolm? And the girls?" Grace's brother had married a civil rights lawyer several years ago. They had adopted two girls.

"Oh, wonderful," Grace gushed. "Rachel and Katie are so big now. You should really come and visit next time you're home."

"Your husband?" John questioned Grace hopefully, re-entering the conversation.

"My brother," she replied, still looking at Lorne. "I'm single."

"Really?" Lorne asked, quite surprised. "I thought you would have settled down by now."

Grace pressed her lips into a line. "So everyone tells me."

The Major chuckled. "Who knows, maybe you'll find the right guy on Atlantis."

"Are you volunteering, Evan?" she joked.

Lorne just shrugged, pretending to contemplate the idea.

"Major, we need to get the new recruits their assignments," John reminded him.

"Of course, sir," Lorne answered. And then looking back at the woman still in his arms, he said, "I'll come find you in a few hours, Gracie. We can catch up and I can give you a personal tour of Atlantis."

Grace cheekily replied, "I'll look forward to it."

As so, giving her one final hug, Lorne followed John off the pier. They walked in silence for a few minutes before John glanced over at him. "So, Dr. Richards is pretty."

Lorne just hummed, not really wanting to have this conversation. But it seemed John had other ideas.

"So… how did you meet?"

Lorne fell back on the generic answers he always used. "Through her brother."

"When'd you date?"

"A few years in high school."

"Why did you break up?"

"We were both going into college and weren't really looking for a long distance relationship."

"Wh-"

"Look, sir, is there something you need me for?"

"Not really…"

"Then I'm going to go update the duty rosters with our new Marines and schedule their evaluations."

John shot him a curious look but didn't stop him. "Of course, Lorne."

"Thank you, sir." And then Lorne was off.

It didn't take long to complete all the paperwork. Lorne sent several copies of the rosters and schedules to John and Sam for them to approve. He assigned John to test out the new recruits' survival and flight skills, Ronon was to evaluate close-quarter combat, while he charged himself with weapon evaluations. Lorne even penciled in a little time with Rodney so the Marines would be able to experience the full brunt of the science department in advance. He knew Rodney would complain about the whole thing, but the Major thought the scientist would like the opportunity to show off his intelligence in front of the newest soldiers.

When he was finished he swung by the labs to see Radek and David. Maybe a lunch with friends would be a nice change. But before Lorne could find his favorite scientists he ran into Grace, quite literally.

Picking himself off the ground, the Major stuttered an apology. "Gracie, I am so sorry. I didn't see you there."

"Evan," the woman grinned. "It's always a pleasure running into you." She accepted his outstretched hand and pulled herself from the cold floor.

Lorne offered his own smirk in return. "So how do you like Atlantis?"

"Oh, it's beautiful," the linguist gushed. "The amount of Ancient text available here is unbelieveable. There is writing everywhere! And people completely dismiss it and take it for granted, not even bothering to learn what it means. Just from the walk from my room to the labs there were several inscriptions that I couldn't help but read. This one here," Grace turned to point at the squiggly writing of the Ancients mounted the wall, "it is directions to-."

"-to the chair room. Yeah, I know."

Grace guffawed. "So you're a linguist now?"

"I've taken a few classes in Ancient," Lorne shrugged. "I'm nowhere near fluent but I manage."

"Well," she sniffed, "I can't really complain. I do love a man who's good with his tongue."

The Major grinned wolfishly. He had barely seen his good friend in years and here they were, playfully flirting like nothing had changed. Lorne leaned forward, bringing his forehead down to touch her brow, mimicking the formal Athosian greeting. "You would know, wouldn't you?"

After a moment, the two pulled out of their intimate embrace. "But does anyone else know?" Grace smiled cheekily.

Lorne straightened and cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"Have you been seeing anyone?"

"Not recently," Lorne admitted. "I haven't really had the opportunity, seeing as I'm stuck in another galaxy."

"What about someone here on Atlantis?"

"There is no one, Gracie."

"Do you want there to be someone? I saw how Colonel Sheppard reacted to me." She waggled her eyebrows. "The jealousy oozing off that man was adorable. He wants you."

"I know."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

Lorne sighed. "Look, Grace, he's my boss. I can't really take a tumble in the sheets with him without serious repercussions."

The woman pursed her lips together. "If you say so… I think you would be amazing together."

The Major leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "So do I." He winked.

Grace laughed, the jovial sound echoing down the empty hallway. "It's a shame you and Malcolm didn't stay together. I would have loved you to be my brother-in-law."

"Surely you would be bored of me by now."

"No, never."

"Come now," Lorne scolded. "I have to keep you on your toes, keep the mystery alive."

"Oh, there is no mystery about you, Evan Lorne. You are far too predictable."

"Really? Well, then," Lorne smirked, "I guess you already know that I'm going to ask you to join me for lunch."

"But of course," Grace nodded seriously. "And, after that, a private tour of all the best Ancient inscriptions in the city."

"Wow, I guess I am predictable."

"No, I just know you too well."

"I guess you're right."

"Of course I am!"

The two friends laughed and made their way to the cafeteria.

 **~o~o~**

With Dr. Grace Richards' arrival, the senior staff began to notice that Lorne seemed to return back to his normal self. The two friends - or past lovers as they led everyone to believe - were nearly inseparable.

Lorne first introduced Grace to Radek, Laura, and David. The scientists quickly welcomed her into their little group. Radek was pleased to learn that Grace knew Czech. They frequently conversed and told jokes in his native tongue, much to the amusement of their friends. David easily accepted her enthusiasm for all things Ancient. While he was only a botanist, he enjoyed learning about the language and history of Atlantis' previous occupants. And Laura was just happy to converse with another female that didn't only want to gossip about their peers.

The group invited her to their dinner parties in Radek's quarters. The Czech happily made them meals while exchanging recipes and ideas. Not too long after, Grace started to attended team lunches. Teyla accepted her warmly, enjoying a new conversation partner. Grace introduced her to a plethora of word games and riddles that the female warrior enjoyed, claiming they kept her mind sharp. Rodney was as loud and obnoxious as usual but eventually grudgingly admitted that Grace's intelligence was noteworthy, for a linguist. What really changed his mind about her was when she effortlessly beat him in a game of chess. Even Ronon took shine to the woman. She didn't mind his gruffness and standoffish behavior. As a sign of good faith, he taught her the basics of the Satedan language - which Grace picked up in two weeks flat. Needless to say Ronon was impressed.

John, on the other hand, was more resistant than the others. Not that he showed it. On the surface he was courteous and flirtatious, all the while jealousy and spite raged underneath. He didn't like how close the woman and his second in command were. He knew of their history - or so he thought - and he could see the intimate bond they shared. Something he believed, now more than ever, that he could never have with Lorne.

Grace knew things about Lorne that he could never know by simply being his commanding officer. She knew about his life outside the military. His passions. His touch. His secrets. His love.

Admittedly, John was completely surprised when Grace introduced herself as Lorne's former girlfriend. Even more so when the Major didn't dispute the claim. In all the time that John knew his second in command, Lorne had never mentioned any past relationships, intimate or otherwise. In his experience, John always saw such silence as the sign of a secret - such as uncommon sexual preferences or preserved virginity. Men loved to brag about their past conquests, particularly those with beautiful women. And Grace was a gorgeous woman. Surely, Lorne would brag about such a woman, no matter how long ago they stopped dating.

He always knew the Major to be a very private person. It took John several months to learn as much as he knew now. But never during all his snooping did he witness Lorne give his attention to another person - female or male. That being said, plenty of others had expressed interest in Lorne, Baltier notwithstanding. John knew for a fact that a pretty botanist had asked Lorne on a date before being politely turned away. A few other nurses had also tried to approach Lorne with several sexual propositions, all of which were rejected. While on an off-world mission John even witnessed a village elder's son corner Lorne during a fertility feast. But the Major also did not accept his invitation. John also knew of several other female _and_ male personnel that had crushes on Lorne, but much like him, they would never act upon it.

With no evidence to suggest otherwise, John assumed the soldier to be asexual or something of the sort. And that thought was comforting. John didn't have to worry about either rejection or acceptance. He could hide his love for Lorne and simply enjoy the friendship they shared.

But this new information completely changed John's perception of Lorne. The Colonel was now presented with actual living proof that Lorne wasn't, in fact, asexual. Or even homosexual. While bisexuality was still on the table, John easily dismissed it, thinking back to the lack evidence of prior relationships or sexual interest.

While John didn't like Grace, simply on principle, he couldn't deny that she was good for Lorne. Since her arrival on Atlantis the Major had emerged from whatever funk he had been in. He was no longer hiding in his room or running around Atlantis, doing menial tasks, in the middle of the night. He had even resumed his staff lessons with the Marines. He was laughing again, spending time with friends. The old Lorne was back.

And so, for Lorne's sake, John begrudgingly accepted Grace into their little group.

 **~o~o~**

 _A/N:_ **Surprised you, didn't I? Just when you thought we might be reaching the end I threw a curveball. Well, what can I say, I like to complicate things.**

 **The addition of Dr. Grace Richards will be a hitch for John, his jealousy and blatant dislike will be blinding. On the other hand, Grace will become a good friend and confidant for Lorne, helping him through difficult situations and eventually nudging him in the right direction. I added Grace into the story because I felt it necessary for Lorne to have someone to talk to about his troubles, someone who knows him better than anyone else on Atlantis. As such, Grace will be there to push the plot forward and be the voice of reason when needed.**

 **Please review and let me know what you think. Until next time. XOXO**


	10. Chapter 10

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **Sorry for the delay in posting. Although I have finished writing the next four chapters or so of this story, I haven't been able to sit down and edit it. I've been swamped over the past few weeks moving and interviewing for a new job. So expect these last few chapters of this story to be a little more spread out.**

 **That being said, I received a few reviews about the subplot that has begun to develop. Some readers do not like the slow pace I am taking for the Sheppard/Lorne romance. These things do not happen overnight. Someone does not act on repressed feelings and self-doubt during some passing moment. John and Lorne have complicated pasts - points I have focused on to expand their characterization - and they must overcome their personal obstacles before they can be with someone else. SIDE COMMENT: I purposely said that there would be** "Eventual Sheppard/Lorne" **in the summary (that implies slowburn).**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

It was lunchtime but the cafeteria was empty.

The monthly city-wide briefing was taking place. Sam always scheduled it during the usual break times so everyone could attend. Due to the size of the Atlantis expedition, Sam addressed everyone over the PA system before each department head, or their seconds, organized a separate meeting. Individual departments gave personalized briefings to establish cohesion and to ensure there was no miscommunication among the ranks about assignments. However, there were several new IOA protocols that needed to be covered, so combined with the increase in Wraith activity, the usual hour long briefings tripled in length.

Save for a few random maintenance personnel scattered about the room, the only group of people that remained in the cafeteria were the senior staff members who were excused from the meetings. John and Rodney, in particular, dumped their briefings on Lorne and Radek respectively. Teyla and Ronon also did not have to attend because they were not residents of Earth.

John smiled to himself, looking over his team. It was nice to have a quiet lunch for a change. Rodney and Ronon took advantage of the lack of line and grabbed all their favorite foods, piling their trays dangerously high. Teyla was doing her weekly cleanse so she only snacked on some Athosian fruits while John simply opted for a turkey sandwich and a cup of green jello.

"A dimensionless physical constant?" Rodney snorted as he devoured a plate of pasta. "You know that it's considered unsolvable."

John shrugged, lazily picking a tomato out of his sandwich. "Well, certainly people who have failed to solve it think that."

"We aren't even talking about whatever that is…" Ronon grumbled.

"Its simple really," Rodney claimed, "At the present time, the values of the dimensionless physical constants cannot be calculated. They are determined only by physical measurement. It has no units attached! _But_ it has a numerical value that is independent of the system of units used. Perhaps the best-known example is the fine-structure constant-"

"McKay," Ronon interrupted, "I don't care." The scientist shot him a dark glare before snatching Ronon's chocolate cake from his tray. "Hey!" the Satedan barked. Rodney stuck out his tongue at Ronon before scooping up a forkful of cake and shoveling it into his mouth.

Teyla wrinkled her nose in disgust.

The Satedan warrior reached across the table and tried to reclaim his dessert. But Rodney was too fast. He pulled the rest of the chocolate cake close to his chest while eating it as fast as he could. Seeing that he wouldn't be able to get his cake back, Ronon grabbed Rodney by the throat. With the scientist in a headlock, Ronon tried to heave him over the table. In doing so, the two men's trays were pushed aside and toppled onto the floor. Rodney squealed as food and wrappers spilled across the ground.

"Guys!" John shouted, forcing himself between the grappling duo. "Guys! Calm down!"

It took a minute but Ronon finally released the floundering scientist.

"Rodney, you should know better than to steal Ronon's food," the Colonel scolded, shaking a finger at his teammate. "And Ronon, no fighting outside the gym. Now, clean up this mess," John ordered, pointing at the spilled trays. Rodney opened his mouth to protest but John folded his arms over his chest. "Now!"

The two men silently went to work on the floor. While they cleaned John sat back down and raised his eyebrows at Teyla in exasperation. She just smiled sweetly in response.

"What's all this?" Jennifer asked as she approached the table with her own tray of food.

"Just a little accident," Teyla replied. The Athosian slide her chair to the side to make room for the Doctor at the table. "Come, sit next to me, Dr. Keller."

"Thank you, Teyla."

"Finished with your briefing already?" John questioned, glancing at his watch.

"Yes," Jennifer said. "And I didn't have to palm off my duties to my subordinates."

"I was busy!" John argued.

"Yeah," Rodney scoffed, "busy playing golf. At least _I_ did work."

"Hey, my swing has suffered over the past few months," the Colonel asserted. "I needed to practice. And what did you do anyway? Try to decipher the unsolvable dimensionless physical constant?"

Rodney started to respond but the Doctor beat him to it. " _Anyway_ ," Jennifer stressed, "I finished early because the medical teams review their safety protocols weekly to prepare for emergencies. Our turnover is quadruple the amount of any other department. Here, on Atlantis, injuries abound."

Still frowning at Rodney, John shrugged and hummed, "That makes sense."

The group settled into a comfortable silence. Rodney and Ronon moved the dirty trays back to the kitchen before getting a second helping of dessert. Slowly other personnel trickled into the cafeteria. It seemed several of the departments were also being released from their meetings. Radek eventually joined the group. He threw Rodney a quick glare before settling into a conversation with Jennifer and Teyla. Meanwhile Ronon and John got to talking about guerilla military strategy but, as more and more Marines filtered into the room, the Colonel kept his eye on the door, waiting for Lorne to appear.

John knew he had been hard on his second in command over the past few weeks. He increased Lorne's workload in hopes that by keeping the Major busy he could prevent the soldier from hanging out with Dr. Grace Richards. He didn't like how much time the two former lovers were spending together. John knew his actions were petty - ruled by jealousy - but he couldn't help it. His feelings for the Major kept interfering with his work. John felt the need to protect Lorne by hiding him away. And, as much as he tried to prevent it, the Major kept getting in the line of fire. The crystalline nightmare creature being the most recent event.

"Oh, Rodney, I have this for you."

Rodney finished a spoonful of jello and looked over at the Czech scientist who addressed him. "What?"

Radek held out a sealed envelope. "Someone left this for you. I found it in my workspace this morning."

"Really?" Rodney reached across the table to snatch the letter out of Radek's proffered palm. "I wonder what it could be?" Everyone turned to watch as the balding scientist greedily ripped open the envelope and remove a pink slip of paper. As Rodney quickly read the letter his cheeks broke out into a blush and the tips of his ears reddened. "Well, um, this is… where did you say you found this?"

"My desk, why? What is it?"

Before Rodney could respond, Ronon stole the piece of paper right out of the scientist's weak grip. The Satedan read the first few lines silently before chortling. "It's a love letter," he gleefully told the group.

"What? No way!" John exclaimed, nearly jumping out of his seat to take a look.

"A very forward one at that," Ronon commented.

Rodney ripped the letter from the Satedan's hand and held it tightly to his chest. "Do you mind?" he nearly shouted. "That's private!"

"I wonder who wrote it?" Telya pondered aloud. "Is it signed?

Rodney shook his head.

Jennifer tapped her chin thoughtfully and asked, "Do you recognize the handwriting?"

"No," the balding scientist pursed his lips. "But I intend to find out who wrote it."

"Come on," John said, casually leaning back in his chair. "Why ruin the mystery? Maybe if you don't pursue it you'll get another one. Play hard to get."

"I know what I'm doing," Rodney sniffed. "This isn't the first love letter I ever received, you know. When I published my first article in the International Journal of Modern Physics, I was invited to spend the weekend at a bed and breakfast in Cambridge."

"Did you go?" Jennifer asked, curious.

"Ah, I was fourteen…" Rodney grumbled, "My mother had to break the news to a very embarrassed female professor at MIT."

John burst out laughing. He slapped his knee, nearly falling out of his chair in the process.

"It's not funny!" Rodney cried.

"No, it really is," the Colonel gasped between sniggers. "The mental image alone is priceless."

Rodney turned to the rest of the group. "Hey, guys, back me up."

"The story is quite humorous," Teyla grinned.

"Yeah," Ronon said. "I would pay good money to read that letter."

Rodney huffed and, taking on last look at the pink love letter, he shoved it in his pocket. Out of sight, out of mind. Most of the group settled down and continued on with their lunch, but John and Ronon were a completely different story. They continued to make a few more barbs at the scientist's expense.

The friends' discussion was eventually lost in the swell of noise that accompanied lunchtime.

 **~o~o~**

Lorne was in a foul mood. He didn't sleep very well and had to skip breakfast to attend to a fist fight that had broken out in the locker rooms. On top of it all, the Colonel had pulled rank and charged Lorne with leading the monthly briefing with the soldiers. He barely had an hour to review the binder full of new protocols and military strategies before rushing to the West Pier. The pier was the best place to address all the soldiers at once. There were several hundred of them after all. In his hurry, he forgot to grab a megaphone. As such, he almost completely lost his voice trying to yell over the wind in an attempt to be heard by everyone in attendance.

And so, three hours later, he finally found himself in the cafeteria; tired, hungry, and hoarse.

Grabbing a sandwich and a fruit cup, the Major quickly spotted Radek sitting at a table in the far corner of the room. As he approached the table he noticed that several of his other friends were enjoying lunch there too. He smiled weakly at the Czech scientist before plopping down next to his two female friends. Rodney, Ronon, and John offered him no salutation - they were too engrossed in some conversation about a letter - while Teyla and Jennifer greeted him warmly.

"How was your meeting, Major Lorne?" Teyla inquired.

"Long," the Major sighed, his voice cracking slightly.

"Are you getting sick?" Jennifer asked, squinting at him in concern.

"No, doc. I've just been doing a little too much yelling recently."

"Well, give the Marines a break," she advised. "Your vocal chords will thank you."

"I'll keep that in mind." Lorne picked up his sandwich and glanced over at his other friends. "So, did I miss anything important?"

"Rodney got a love letter," Radek deadpanned.

Lorne peered over his lunch. "Really? Who from?"

"We don't know," Jennifer commented. "But he plans to find out."

"Why bother?" the Major voiced, shrugging his shoulders, "Sometimes the mystery is more exciting than the actual admirer."

"Funny," the Doctor dryly commented, "Colonel Sheppard said the same thing."

Lorne took a bite of his sandwich and raised an eyebrow. Off to the side he heard the topic of conversation change from the clandestine letter to the incompetency of scientists - a personal favorite topic of Rodney. After all, the grumpy scientist had made complaining an art form. Ignoring John and Ronon's exasperated sigh, and Rodney's high pitched griping, Lorne turned to Teyla and asked, "How are the Athosians? I know you visited them recently."

Teyla smiled, she was always happy to talk about her people. "They are doing quite well," she told them. "Dr. Keller was kind enough to do free exams for the children. They, of course, enjoyed her lollipops."

Lorne smirked. "I'm assuming that's why I had a request form for more candy on my desk yesterday."

"I am in short supply," Jennifer defended, "and I need more."

"It was marked 'urgent'."

"It is! I am only as popular as my lollipops."

"Somehow I doubt that," the Major commented, hinting at the Doctor's excellent bedside manner. Jennifer was well-known for her reassurance and relaxing disposition. She only really yelled or threatened Rodney, John, and few other patients who actively downplayed their injuries or tried to leave the infirmary before being dismissed by the Doctor.

"Well," Radek interrupted, "I heard that Dr. Richards expressed some interest in meeting the Athosians, to learn more about their language."

While Lorne wasn't necessarily surprised with the request, he still inquired, "Really?"

"Yes," the Athosian warrior smiled, recalling her own conversation with the linguist about the same subject. "Perhaps you may both join me on your next free day?

"Maybe," Lorne nodded. He did enjoy playing with the children. They reminded him of his two nephews, his sister's sons. "I'll talk to Grace about it."

"Please do," Teyla said. "She is becoming a good friend."

"She always had a way with people. And, I suppose, being a linguist doesn't hurt."

Radek opened his mouth to comment but stopped when John's voice suddenly rose above the clamor of the cafeteria. Startled, Lorne and the others turned to hear the end of the Colonel's statement.

"...I was there, Rodney." John frowned in disapproval. "You stood up and called him an 'un-evolved, birdbrained dumbass' in front of a room full of people."

"Well, no. Now, you're exaggerating. That room could not have been more than half full. Besides, he wasn't even a scientist, he was _geologist_ ," Rodney snorted dismissively, "I mean, who would want to study _rocks_ for a living? Talk about boring."

Lorne frowned, offended that Rodney thought his major in college wasn't considered a hard science. "I did." Everyone turned to look at him. "I'm a mining engineer," he clarified.

"No way," Jennifer gasped, clearly shocked.

Rodney just pursed his lips. "Please," he scoffed and rolled his eyes, "You're an Air Force Major, why on Earth would get a degree in geology, _the study of the ground_?"

"A doctorate actually," Lorne smirked.

It was true. After high school, Lorne went to the College of Science and Engineering at the San Francisco State University in his hometown. He labored, working two jobs, to complete his geology degree. Lorne loved the classes, especially when he worked with remote sensing and modeling software to determine ground density and mineral detection. And, after four years of hard work, Lorne graduated at the top of his class. He had plans to enter the master's program for additional study in mining and the mining industry, but fate intervened. One of his boyfriends at the time had just earned his first set of wings in the Air Force. In celebration, he rented a small plane and took Lorne on a private flight. It was the first time Lorne had ever flown. He saw the Earth from an entirely new perspective - as a wondrous rock floating in space. He fell in love.

Lorne immediately joined the Air Force. The military kindly paid for his graduate degree in engineering while he went through the AFROTC training program. As he moved up in the ranks, and went to war for the United States of America in the Middle East, Lorne was recommended to join the Stargate Program. Shortly after entering the SGC he was promoted to Major. He was charged with base security. It was then - in a side comment much like the one that started the current conversation - that Colonel Martin Edwards became aware of Lorne's advanced engineering degree.

Lorne was reassigned to a 'gate team and joined the survey operation on P3X-403. There was a significant amount of Naquadah deposits that could be mined to meet the Pentagon's demand; they had plans to produce BC-303s and battle cruisers for the Earth fleet.

It was Lorne's first time off-world. It was amazing. He was able to put his schooling to work while exploring the universe, something he had wanted to do once he learned about the SCG's existence. Then there was an incident. A geological surveyor, Lieutenant Ritter, went missing. SG-1 was immediately called in. Dr. Daniel Jackson discovered that Unas - an alien race that was first host to the Goa'uld - lived on the planet. It turned out that Lorne's team had been mining on sacred ground and the Unas had retaliated, killing Ritter. But, thanks to the quick thinking of Daniel Jackson and Colonel Jack O'Neil, an all-out war was averted. Negotiations were established and the Unas volunteered to mine the Naquadah and send it to Earth in return for much needed food supplies.

Lorne was assigned to liaison between the Unas and the SGC. It was then that he discovered his linguistic prowess, effortlessly learning most of the Unas' language. He gained much respect for the alien race. They were a primitive tribal society held together in close knit community led by an alpha male, Kor Asek. After a few months Kor Asek formally accepted Lorne into his tribe, giving him special privileges among the Unas.

A year later, when the mining operation was finally finished, Lorne was gifted a necklace from the Unas. It was mainly ritualistic, used to prevent the Goa'uld from taking the Unas as hosts. But, as Daniel later explained, the necklace was a final testament of the tribe. They fully recognized Lorne as one of their own. In return, Lorne had gifted Kor Asek and his tribe with a generous amount of chocolate. The Unas happily accepted; they enjoyed the candy's sweet taste.

When Lorne returned from P3X-403 for the final time, necklace in hand, he was assigned to lead a secondary 'gate team, SG-11. His team continued their work with Naquadah. The rare, super-dense mineral was an important commodity in the fight against the Goa'uld. SG-11 was tasked to search for and trade Naquadah across the universe. Lorne, in particular, was charged with checking the purity of each deposit. It usually needed his seal of approval before the SGC would send a team to the mining site. It was dangerous work. Naquadah stores were highly sought after, due to their value. It wasn't uncommon for groups to fight for control over the mineral deposits.

Thanks to his good work, Lorne was awarded an honorary doctorate in mining engineering and geology. His field work easily substituted for all the necessary requirements. And while he couldn't really use his doctorate outside of the Stargate program, mostly due to the fact his work was extremely classified, he received all the official documentation: a diploma and a letter signed by the President.

It was a good life for Lorne. He was leading his own team and, because of his doctorate, he was an authority on Naquadah at the SGC. His authority even surpassed some of the actually doctors and experts working for the Stargate Program. Due to his field experience and position in the Air Force, he was usually the first person called upon to test the rare mineral on site.

But then the SGC finally got word from the Atlantis expedition months after their original departure. Lorne, like all the other soldiers, was tested for the ATA gene. Surprisingly he was natural gene holder, scoring very high in all the trials. And, in no time at all, he was shipped off to Atlantis to aid in the fight against the Wraith. He joined Colonel Dillon Everett to defend the city as it was currently under siege. The defense of Atlantis was crucial, the soldiers had to hold the Wraith at bay until the _Daedalus_ could arrive with an extra ZPM for the city's failed shields.

After the battle, Lorne remained in the Pegasus galaxy. Colonel Everett had been attacked by a Wraith, barely surviving, and most of the senior staff had left to report about the success of the Atlantis expedition to the SGC and IOA. Therefore, because Lorne was the highest ranking soldier remaining on Atlantis, he was temporarily giving command over the city's protection until the senior staff returned from Earth.

When Dr. Elizabeth Weir and the others returned to Atlantis on the _Daedalus_ several weeks later, the Major was introduced to his new boss, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard. The newly promoted Colonel immediately informed Lorne that he had been hand selected to become the new second in command of Atlantis' military contingency.

With a new job and new responsibilities, Lorne no longer needed to utilize his geology degree. Atlantis needed a soldier, not a mining engineer. The Major didn't even know if Naquadah existed in the Pegasus galaxy. On all his off-world missions he never came across any type of stone that closely resembled the dense, conductive properties of the rare mineral. Lorne fell back into his role as a soldier with little effort. And while he missed the work, Lorne's doctorate simply became a source of pride as opposed to a testament to his authority.

"You're a doctor?" Radek squawked, drawing Lorne out of his musings.

The Major nodded while Rodney laughed. Smug bastard. "Tell me, McKay, how many times where you saved by a Naquadah generator? Or an earth-class battleship?" Lorne inquired through clenched teeth, his previous good mood completely gone.

The scientist looked annoyed. "I don't know, a few times I guess."

Lorne knew it was more than a few times. His temper flared. He could usually handle Rodney's arrogance but he wasn't having it today. He was tired and sore and ready to bite off someone's head. "Good," he sneered. "Most of the material was mined by my team while at the SGC. And I'm sure if you looked closely enough at their seal of approval, you'll see _my_ _signature_. Now, before you go about belittling someone's livelihood, you should consider just how much their job affects your comfortable, pathetic life."

Not waiting to hear the scientist's rebuttal, Lorne stood up and stalked away from the table, completely abandoning the rest of his meal. He made it to the hallway unhindered before he heard the clomp of booted feet rush behind him.

"Lorne!"

It was John.

The Major ignored him. He continued to stomp down the hall. People quickly parted before him, desperate to get out of the way of the fuming soldier.

A warm hand snagged his shoulder and spun him around. "Lorne!"

"WHAT!" the Major shouted in John's face. The Colonel looked startled, his eyes widened and his face paled. Immediately Lorne regretted snapping at him. So, in an attempt to reign in his temper, he quietly asked, "What is it, sir?"

"I, uh," John stuttered, clearly taken aback by the Major's abrupt outburst. Shaking his head slightly, he dropped his hand from Lorne's shoulder. "I wanted to apologize."

"What for?"

John's brow furrowed in confusion. "For McKay."

Lorne scoffed and, turning back around, continued down the hall. "He should apologize himself," he said over his shoulder. "I worked hard to get my degree, and while I'm not a genius, I'm not stupid either."

"No one said you were," John spoke, jogging to keep up with Lorne's fast pace.

The Major rolled his eyes. "Are you sure you were even listening to same conversation as me?"

John bit his lip. "Well, yeah… But Rodney wasn't really-"

"Please don't make excuses for him, sir."

"I wasn't-" the Colonel started to say. He stopped, however, when he saw the pinched expression on Lorne's face. Scratching the back of his head shyly, John tried again, "Yeah, well, you're right. Rodney should apologize himself." And holding up his hands in the universal sign of surrender, he continued, "And not to make excuses, but Rodney sometimes forgets that we're all on Atlantis for one reason or another. The SGC doesn't hire idiots. Jerks and assholes, sure. But not idiots."

Lorne's lip twitched.

The Colonel persisted. "I just hope that the opinion of one man doesn't make you think that everyone thinks the same. I sure as hell don't! And I'm sure anyone else at that table would say the same."

The two soldiers paused outside one of the transporters at the end of the hallway. Turning to peer at John, Lorne couldn't help but notice a seemingly familiar sight. It was that look of _love_. The one that Lorne had continuously seen over the past few weeks. John's eyebrows were arched, lacking their usual tension. His lips were slightly parted, allowing his words to have a breathy quality when he talked. His cheeks were rosy, giving off the illusion that he was blushing. His face was open, a litany of emotions flitting across the visage. His eyes shone, as if they were looking upon the hidden wonders of the universe.

Lorne blinked slowly. Nope, the look was still there. "I know, sir," he honestly replied.

There was a pause before a grin began to creep onto John's face. "So, a doctorate, huh?" he asked, raising one of his eyebrows.

Lorne felt his chest swell with pride. "Yes, sir!"

"So what's your official title? Major Doctor or Doctor Major?"

"I don't know," Lorne shrugged. "I usually just responded to _Kor 'Uman_ back at the SGC," he said, referring to the honorary title he received while working with the Unas.

" _Kor 'Uman_? What does that mean?"

While it literally meant 'metal human' in the language of the Unas, Lorne decided to give the more liberal translation used by some of his former teammates on SG-11. "Roughly translated, it means Iron Man."

John threw back his head and laughed. "Iron Man! HA!" He shook his head in disbelief. "I'll have to use that sometime," he chortled. "You're a regular superhero, huh Lorne?"

The Major smiled. "If you say so, sir."

"Why not? You're always saving my ass."

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"Honestly, I can't count the amount of times you've appeared at the last moment to save the day. Running into danger. Bullets ringing through the haze," the Colonel praised while miming the action of firing a P-90, "descending into battle like an avenging angel."

Lorne raised an eyebrow. No one had ever referred to him as an angel before. "How very poetic, sir."

"What can I say, I'm a hopeless romantic."

"Hopeless, maybe. But definitely not romantic."

"Hey! I can be romantic."

The Major rolled his eyes. "Yeah, as romantic as a bull in heat."

John gasped, placing a hand over his heart. "I take offense to that."

"Uh huh," Lorne yawned before he could stop himself.

"Am I boring you, Major?"

"I've just had a really long day."

"Well, take the rest of the day for yourself," John said dismissively. "I'm sure Sam will approve it. You haven't had a day off in a while anyhow, you deserve it."

"Thank you, sir."

"No problem, Lorne."

Just then the transporter hissed open and let out several scientists. Taking that as his cue to leave, Lorne hopped in. "So I guess I'll see you tomorrow, sir?"

The Colonel broke out into a huge grin, teeth and all. "Count on it!" he laughed. "Take care," John waved before turning back toward the cafeteria.

The door finally closed and the transported whisked Lorne away to the other side of Atlantis.

 **~o~o~**

 _A/N:_ **Another chapter finished. This one took a while to edit because I kept adding onto the dialogue. I have always loved the playful banter between John and Rodney. It's so much fun to write. Thier chemistry is very evident throughout the** Stargate: Atlantis **series as a testament to their friendship.**

 **Also, I enjoyed expanding on more of Lorne's background - both before and during his time at the Stargate Command. I obviously combined some canonical fact (Lorne meeting the Unas) with some of my own creation (Lorne's doctorate and his reasons for joining the Air Force, et cetera). While it is a fairly short exposition into the motivation behind the man, I hoped to demonstrate that Lorne was not just another mindless soldier following orders. He is smart and competent and creative.**

 **Oh, who do you think wrote that risqué love letter? While Rodney ever find out? Was it serious or just a prank? I guess we'll find out next time. Until then, have an awesome week!**

 **Review, review, review.**

(EDIT: my idea for making Lorne a mining engineer came from **Ayama-chi 4** 's story _Crossing The Line_. Although in my story I elevated him to doctorate level.)


	11. Chapter 11

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **I'm back with a new chapter! I meant to post this a few days ago (and I totally thought I did), but I guess I forgot. Oh well, it doesn't matter now. Anyway, while this chapter is definitely not shorter than usual, it doesn't have too much action. Rather, I decided to focus a little more on some Lorne and John interactions. So, as you'll see there will be much needed one-on-one dialogue between the two.**

 **But, let's not forget about Rodney! Who wrote Rodney's love letter? Was it serious or just a prank?** **Well, read on and you'll have all these answers and more! Enjoy!**

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

Lorne was startled awake from his nap when a loud knock sounded throughout his quarters. Yawning, he climbed out of bed and straightened his rumpled clothing. Wiping the sleep from his eyes, he shuffed forward and opened the door.

"Evan, how are you?"

"I'm fine, Grace," Lorne smiled, all traces of sleep gone, and welcomed his friend into his room.

The linguist shuffled inside before stating, "I heard about what happened at lunch."

Lorne winced. "Really? Who from?"

"Radek, of course."

"Of course," the Major drawled, rolling his eyes. Glancing behind him, he willed the door to close before asking, "So what really brings you to my humble abode?"

Grace feigned a hurt expression, placing a hand over her heart in a scandalized manner. "What? I can't come see how my friend is doing?"

"I know you, Gracie. Something is definitely bothering you," Lorne held up a finger to silence his friend when she started to object, "and don't say you were worried about me. Your ear is twitching like it usually does when you're stressed."

She quickly slapped a hand over her right ear. "Is not!"

Crossing his arms, Lorne just stared at her.

"Okay, okay, you got me," Grace said, throwing her hands into the air. "I may have done something stupid."

"What kind of stupid?" the Major asked curiously.

"What do you mean what kind of stupid? Just stupid, okay!"

Lorne raised an eyebrow. "So what did you do?"

"I might have written a certain note, to a certain someone, about a certain something…"

"Wow, could you be more vague please?"

Grace bit back a laugh, playfully batting at Lorne's arm. "Stop, this is serious."

"No, I am serious. What did you write?"

"It _may_ have been an admission of affection upon an individual of the most intimate nature."

"A love letter?" Lorne inquired, finally discifering the linguist's words. "Wait a minute," he tapped his chin, "McKay got a letter earlier today… Oh no, Gracie, please tell me you didn't…"

Grace blushed. "I did," she confessed.

"Whatever for? Don't tell me you actually have feelings for that man?!"

"Maybe…"

"Grace!"

"What! I can't help it. You know I have a weakness for smart guys," she defended. "The way they get all passionate about science and stuff turns me on."

"They're all assholes!"

Grace smirked and shrugged her shoulders. "Funny how that seems to be a similar trait among geniuses."

"It's not funny at all," Lorne stated, frowning deeply. "You deserve better than McKay."

"I'm not really looking for a long term relationship anyway," Grace said. "Just someone to share my bed with."

"Please stop," Lorne cried, burying his face in his hands. "I don't need that kind of mental image. You're hurting my brain."

Wishing to push her friend further, Grace continued, "You know what they say about scientists…" She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "They're experts in anatomy and _always_ willing to experiment."

"I thought that was biologists..."

"Well, they're a type kind of scientist, aren't they?"

The Major rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Whatever."

"Come on, Evan," Grace sighed. "You can't tell me _not_ to pursue this when you haven't made a move on your own sexy soldier."

"And I won't," Lorne adamantly stated. "We already talked about this."

"I know, but I still think you're wrong."

"It doesn't change the fact that he's my boss."

"And it doesn't change the fact that Rodney's an ass," Grace rebuttled, putting her hands on her hips. "See, I can make excuses too."

Lorne sighed and slumped down onto the edge of his unmade bed.

"Just talk to him," she told Lorne, taking a seat next to her friend. "You already know how he feels."

"I know," the Major sighed and shook his head. "I just don't want to fuck everything up."

Grace leaned her head on Lorne's shoulder. "I think you're already fucked up."

"Gee, thanks," he sniffed.

"You know what I mean, dummy," she soothed. "You can't hide from your feelings forever. They'll eat you up inside. And, after a while, you'll be worse off. You think it's bad now, just wait a week, a month, a year… it'll poison you until all you have left is a broken heart and a whole bunch of 'what ifs'."

"Since when did you become so wise?" he asked.

"Comes from experience," Grace answered sadly.

She seemed so despondent that Lorne couldn't help but wonder who she had fallen in love with in the past. Someone she never approached. Someone who had poisoned her idea of love. Someone she lost. Someone who had left her so messed up that she couldn't even stand the thought of marriage.

Lorne hummed and rested his head on top of her own.

He was conflicted. He wanted to approach John. He really did. But something always stopped him. And it hurt. It hurt that he didn't have the courage to go after what he wanted because he was afraid of the consequences. It hurt that his love was within reach yet galaxies away. It hurt that he loved John so much.

Suddenly a gentle rapping echoed throughout the room. Not wanting to move, Lorne used his ATA gene to will the door open. "Come in," he called out.

As fate would have it, the very man who was on Lorne's mind sauntered into the room.

John greeted him, "Hey, Lorne…" but the Colonel stopped when he saw Grace. "Oh, I didn't know you had company."

John scrutinized the position in which he found his second in command. Lorne knew it how it looked. The friends' position on the bed could be seen as fairly intimate, but in no way sexual. But there was no way for John to know that. Lorne saw jealousy boil underneath the spiky-haired soldier's frozen visage. Grace also seemed to noticed the envious look that crossed the Colonel's face because she immediately lifted her head from Lorne's shoulder and said, "No problem. I was just leaving anyway."

The linguist stood and headed toward the door. "Remember was I told you, Evan," she called over her shoulder.

Lorne got up and followed her. "I will," he responded honestly. He caught her arm just as she was about to exit his room. And, leaning forward, he whispered into her ear, "Write McKay another letter. I know you don't need my permission, but you should go for it."

A grin spread across Grace's face. "Thanks, Evan," she cooed before planting a chaste kiss on his cheek. And, with one final goodbye, she left the room.

Lorne waved his hand over the sensor to close the door behind her. Turning back, he faced John. The Colonel's arms were folded over his chest and a slight frown tugged at the corner of his thin lips. Ignoring him, Lorne strolled past John to his dresser. He rummaged through some spare t-shirts before settling on a generic black one. Pulling his wrinkled, slept-in shirt over his head, he tossed it into his hamper. Grabbing the clean one, he turned to glance at the man behind him.

"What can I do for you, sir?"

John blinked. "Oh, I was just wondering if you wanted to join me for dinner."

"It's dinner time already?" the Major asked, surprised he had slept for so long.

"Yeah."

Lorne watched as John's eyes lingered on his bare chest. The Colonel subconsciously licked his lips. "Sure, let's go," Lorne said as he quickly pulled on the clean t-shirt, removing the temptation from view. "I'm kind of hungry, I didn't really finish lunch."

"Great," John smiled.

After grabbing his uniform jacket and pulling on his boots, Lorne followed his commanding officer out into the hall. He left his headset in his room; after all, he technically wasn't on duty.

"You know what's on the menu?" Lorne inquired.

"Chicken, I think," John responded. "We just got some new supplies from the Athosians, so we're guaranteed from fresh fruits and vegetables too."

The Major nodded. "Sounds good."

The two soldiers grabbed the first available transporter and made their way to the cafeteria. The cafeteria was fairly empty despite the time. Most of the scientists, Lorne determined, must have been working through dinner to catch up on whatever projects they had to put aside for the three-hour long meetings that morning. Not that Lorne minded, more food for him.

True to John's word, chicken was the main course. There were several Earth-style side dishes available, such as mashed potatoes and green beans. Lorne also saw a few alien dishes being served. Feeling adventurous, he grabbed a plate of purple Athosian vegetables - they looked like beets but Lorne wasn't sure. Foregoing his usual mug of coffee, the Major snagged a cup of tea instead before following John out onto the balcony.

Lorne knew John loved the balcony, it was one of his favorite spots in Atlantis. When in doubt, the Colonel could be found there, eating or relaxing. The Major supposed it was because of the view, which was always spectacular.

Deciding to eat the mysterious alien dish first, Lorne dug in. Much to his surprise, the purple vegetable tasted like steamed broccoli. It was nice. And despite the odd coloring, it tasted just like how his mother used to make it. The Major hummed in appreciation while his mouth was still full.

"Is it good?" John asked. He was taking a bite of chicken from his own plate.

Swallowing, Lorne nodded before eating another forkful.

The duo sat in silence for a few minutes, simply enjoying the food and the company. Lorne was in a much better mood than before. That morning he had been running on fumes. He supposed it was just unfortunate that he snapped in front of all his friends. But now he felt better - well rested and content.

Opening up the conversation, Lorne said, "Did I miss anything interesting after I left lunch?"

"Not really," John shrugged. "By the time I got back almost everyone had left. I did see Rodney a little while ago... he's still trying to figure out who left him that love letter."

"Really?" Lorne asked, holding back a knowing smile. "Any leads?"

"Nope," the Colonel smirked. "It's driving him crazy. He's been pulling out his hair trying to compare his admirer's handwriting to every sample he can find." John snickered, "With his luck he'll be bald by this time tomorrow."

"Who do you think it is?"

"I don't know," John answered honestly. "But I think it has to be one of the newer recruits, or else she would have written the letter sooner."

"How do you know it's not a _he_?" Lorne questioned, playing Devil's advocate.

"The letter was written on pick paper."

"So? Maybe he's trying to misdirect the search?"

John hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe, I hadn't thought of that. Though, I can't imagine how Rodney would react if his secret admirer was a guy."

Ignoring the remark, Lorne asked, "Did you ever read McKay's letter yourself?"

"Nope. And Rodney gets all flustered every time I ask." The Colonel laughed, "You should see how red he gets, Lorne! I can only imagine what was written if it makes Rodney so uncomfortable that we won't let _me_ see it. I mean, I'm his best friend!"

Lorne smiled. He knew how leud Grace could be. She never did anything halfway. "I'm sure it's a sight to behold."

"I remember my first love note," John told him fondly, after taking another bite of chicken. "It was the eighth grade and there was this new girl in class. Mary Claire, I think her name was. Anyway, she sent me a drawing of us together with one of those little check boxes. You know, the ones that asked me to be her boyfriend. I checked 'yes', of course." He shook his head, as if saying that he would never turn down such an invitation. "She was absolutely obsessed with my hair. She was always playing with it and stuff. In the end, I had to break it off when I caught her trying to cut my hair while I was sleeping so she could keep some of it for herself." John's hand drifted up to touch his spiky mane, as if checking it was all there.

Lorne snorted. "You must had had impressive hair back then."

"It is one of my most redeeming qualities," John replied proudly, ignoring the backhanded compliment.

Lorne decided not to comment.

"What about you, Major?" John asked, taking another bite of his dinner.

Believe it or not, Lorne's first love letter was from Malcolm, Grace's brother. Malcolm had slipped a note into his locker. It was a wild confession, Lorne remembered. It was the first time Malcolm had admitted being gay to anyone, besides his sister that is. It was a call for help. The note didn't have Malcolm's name, it just expressed his interest. The letter said that if Lorne was also interested that he should meet him behind the bleachers after sixth period. Curious, Lorne did. And he wasn't disappointed. The letter had been the start of their secret relationship. It was shortly after their first meeting, when Lorne and Malcolm realized that what they had could be something pretty serious, that Grace volunteered to be his 'fake girlfriend'.

"I got one in high school," Lorne admitted, finishing his last forkful of purple vegetables. "We dated for a while but…" he shrugged. "It didn't end very well."

"Why's that?"

"Difference of opinion," he replied, thinking back to their break up. Malcolm had wanted to continue dating after high school, but he was traveling to the East coast for school. Lorne was staying in San Francisco for college and didn't want to try a long distance relationship. He liked Malcolm, he really did. But they didn't belong together. They only dated for so long because it was the comfortable thing to do. But he wasn't in love. Oh no, not love. And because of that Lorne initiated the break up. Malcolm wasn't happy. They didn't talk for almost two years until Malcolm reached out one day. He actually thanked Lorne for ending it. He admitted that he wanted to stay with Lorne because he was his first boyfriend. But, in college, he had really discovered himself. Malcolm came out to his friends and parents. He dated freely. He was happy. And Lorne was happy for him.

"Yeah, high school romances were always crazy." John said, interrupting the Major's thoughts. "So was this before or after Dr. Richards?"

"Before," Lorne lied.

John nodded.

Wanting the change the topic, the Major said, "Well, high school was nothing compared to my time at the AFROTC."

"Do tell," John stated, completely interested in hearing about Lorne's time in college and his early Air Force career.

Lorne laughed. "Nothing like that, sir. What I mean to say is that between all my classes and training I didn't have much time to date. When I wasn't in flight simulators I was learning about mining operations."

"I can't imagine being above the Earth in the morning and underneath it in the afternoon," John spoke, shaking his head.

"It took some getting used to, but it was fun," Lorne asserted. "Geology made me respect the ground while the Air Force made me admire the sky. I became masters of both worlds, literally. It was a balance, an outlet for everything."

"Math was my outlet," John confessed, thoughtlessly stabbing at his last piece of chicken. "I could always trust numbers. They never lied or cheated. It was always fun to hide away with some equations when the training got too hard."

Lorne knew John was a math whiz, he heard McKay grumble about MENSA testing often enough. He had even witnessed John do some complex formulas in his head and play 'prime-not-prime' with the scientists; so while the content of the confession didn't surprise him too much, the fact that John would confess such a personal detail about himself left Lorne breathless. John was an extremely private person. He didn't bear his emotions on his sleeves and he certainly didn't talk about his past. His team, of course, occasionally saw a different side of John that no one else did. But Lorne wasn't officially part of the team. He was the Colonel's friend, sure. But first and foremost he was John's subordinate.

Unwilling to react to the weight of the soldier's admission, Lorne simply hummed in agreement before sipping at his cup of tea.

"I didn't really get to use my math degree in the field though," John sighed. "Not like you. Mining on alien planets around the galaxy. Now that's something to talk about."

"Not really, sir," the Major said, humbled by the praise. "Outside the SGC, my doctorate isn't recognized by the academic community. And mining for Naquadah isn't really something I can put on my resume."

"True, true," John conceded. "But it's still pretty cool. Everyone always thinks we're just dumb flyboys. But man, oh man, have we got them beat."

"It's always better for people to underestimate you," Lorne agreed.

" _Colonel Sheppard_?" a voice asked over John's headset.

Holding up a finger to stop their conversation, John tilted his head and tapped on his earpiece. "Go head," he responded.

" _Colonel Carter requires you in her office_."

"What for?" John asked, surprised Sam didn't call him herself.

" _She didn't say, sir._ "

"Alright." John glanced at his watch. "I can be there in five minutes."

" _I'll tell her you're on the way_ , _sir,_ " the voice responded before sounding off.

Sighing, John turned off his headset before turning back to Lorne. "I have to go," he said. "Rain check?"

"Of course, sir," Lorne smiled. John nodded before starting to gather his partially empty plate. "I got it, sir," the Major said, taking the tray from him.

"Thanks, Lorne. Catch you later." And, with one final goodbye, John made his way out of the cafeteria and to the nearest transporter.

 **~o~o~**

John hated the fact he was called away from his dinner with Lorne.

The Colonel had been worrying about Lorne since lunchtime; his outburst in the cafeteria was most startling. The Major was usually very good at controlling his emotions. Though, John supposed that it was partially his fault for giving so many of his duties to Lorne in the first place. He knew he made the right decision by giving him the rest of the day off.

But still, the reveal about Lorne's high academic status was shocking. Then again, when reading the Major's files, John had skipped over that part. Schooling was never very important to John. It was all about the application of knowledge. If a highschool drop-out could fly a F-303 with immeasurable skill John would hire him or her in an instant.

But a doctorate! That was surprising. Once again John learned something new about his second in command. And, while the circumstances were regrettable, it only made John respect him more. People easily underestimated Lorne, thinking him to simply be an stuffy soldier blindly following his orders. But, yet again, Lorne proved everyone wrong. John could only guess how much authority Lorne must have held at the SGC before being whisked away to serve on Atlantis. He wondered if Lorne missed it at all. He had a life back on Earth. He had his own 'gate team. He was going places before he was taken away to another galaxy to serve under a newly appointed Lieutenant Colonel. It could not have been what he wanted. To anyone, Atlantis would seem like a dead end for any career.

Some days John regretted choosing Lorne to be his second in command. Not because he thought there was a better candidate, but because Lorne deserved so much more. It only made it worse that John had to go and fall in love with him.

And he couldn't shake those feeling either. John thought that being away from Lorne would make his crush go away, but it only made it stronger. When that didn't work he tried to find pitiful excuses and silly justifications so that he would _fall_ _out_ _of love_ : a disgusting habit, evident interest in someone else, insecurities or neediness. But, in the end, he couldn't find any faults. He loved all of Lorne's little quirks - he was independant and confident and funny and loyal.

And the Major never expressed any interest in anyone on Atlantis. Of course, Grace changed that. But at that point John was too far gone for it to have an effect on his love for Lorne. It hurt, sure. But the Colonel could handle it. And despite the initial shock of finding Grace in Lorne's private quarters some time ago, he quickly overcame his jealousy by simply talking to the Major. Lorne seemed more cheerful and rested since that morning. And if Grace had had something to do with that, then so be it. If Lorne was happy, John was happy.

When John finally arrived in Sam's office he was greeted by a very angry Colonel and a stack of overdue IOA evaluations. It seemed he wasn't the first person to finally notice that he had been giving away too many of his assigned duties to Lorne. After a solid fifteen minutes lecture from Sam, and a non-too gentle smack on the head for one of his snarky comments, he was sent to his own office under the order to finish all the forms by tomorrow morning.

Paperwork. John hated paperwork. It was so rigid and bureaucratic and everything that was wrong with the military. He knew he would be up half the night trying to finish it all. And he couldn't just ask Lorne to help because that is what got him into the mess in the first place. Needless to say, John had painted himself into a corner and the only way out was for the paint to dry.

Deciding he wouldn't suffer alone, John passed his office and headed for the labs. After a few minutes of searching, he found Rodney tinkering away with an Ancient device in Radek's workspace. The faint aroma of freshly made coffee surround the scientist as he worked. Dropping the files on a stool, the Colonel went to go pour himself a cup of coffee before settling down across from his best friend.

"Hey, McKay," he smiled.

"Sheppard," the scientist nodded in greeting. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Sam wants me to finish these evaluations by tomorrow," he pointed at the stack of papers he brought with him, "and I thought I would be less likely to fall asleep if I had someone to talk to while I worked."

"I'm kind of busy, Sheppard," Rodney deadpanned, picking up an electronic scanner and waving it over the Ancient device. "Can't you go bother someone else? Zelenka, maybe?"

"Well, I'm here, aren't I?" John responded, referring to the fact he technically was in Radek's lab. "Why are you working in here, anyway?"

"I'm trying to work without everyone looking over my shoulder."

"What do you mean?"

"I _may_ have been a little too cavalier in my attempts to find the author of the letter I received. And it seems my admirer is amused I was hunting for her. So she left another note for me," Rodney said. "Everyone kept trying to read the letter, so I staged a strategic retreat."

"How do you know it's a _she_?" John inquired, mimicking Lorne's similar question from earlier.

"Because she gave me hints as to who she was."

"Oh," John nodded. "So do you know who it is yet?"

"No," Rodney pursed his lips. "All the clues are fairly personal," he shook his head, "I don't know everyone in the science contingent well enough to narrow it down."

"It can't be that hard," John scoffed.

"Oh yeah?" Rodney sneered. "It's not like you know every soldier's favorite sport or where their favorite vacation spot is?"

"I have Lorne for that," the Colonel waved his hand dismissively. "So just ask around. I'm sure Zelenka will help."

"I already tried! He says I'm on my own unless I let him read the letters, which is _not_ going to happen!"

"Then I guess you're out of luck," John shrugged. He paused before asking, "Have you tried writing back?"

"But I don't know who it is? How would I deliver the letter?"

"Well, where do the letters keep getting dropped off? Maybe you can leave a letter there too, and the next time she delivers one she'll find yours."

"You know," Rodney tapped his chin thoughtfully, "that's not a bad idea."

John grinned. "I know," he smugly said before finally turning to his paperwork.

The two friends labored in relative silence for a while. When Rodney hit a dead end with the Ancient device he was working on, he decided to take John's advice and started to draft his own love letter. But it was harder than he originally imagined. Finally, after much frustration, Rodney reluctantly asked the soldier for help. John was more than happy to oblige.

"This is horrible," John announced, reading over the rough copy Rodney had given him.

"It's not that bad!"

"Yes, it is. You compared her to 'cosmic inflation'," he read, squinting at the letter. "What does that mean anyway?"

"It's the theory of exponential expansion of space in the early universe," Rodney explained. "It is one of the few unsolved problems in cosmology. The reference is that she is a mystery to me, a puzzle I have to solve."

"Well, what if she's not a physicist? How is she supposed to know that? Maybe she'll think you're calling her fat."

"What? No!"

"You know, McKay, for all your smarts you are really quite ignorant."

Rodney gaped at him. "Are you calling me stupid?"

"Well, if you weren't, you wouldn't have to ask."

The scientist frowned and snatched the paper from John's grip. "You know what, I don't need you mocking me. I'll just ask someone else for advice."

"Oh yeah? Like who? Ronon? Teyla? Zelenka? Come on, I'm your best bet."

Grumbling, Rodney reluctantly placed the rough draft back into the open hand of the Colonel. "Fine, but instead of making fun of me, could you just help?" he sighed.

"Sure, McKay," John nodded. "Okay, let's start at the beginning. Start with a simple greeting, something like 'to my secret admirer' or 'dear mystery woman'. Then write that you're flattered with the attention… What are you doing? Why aren't you taking notes? This is valuable stuff!" While the scientist scrambled to find a pencil, John continued, "So after the opener and the compliment, you should write about yourself. You don't need to introduce yourself or anything, she already knows who you are, so you should talk about your feelings."

"My feelings?" Rodney asked, looking up from the paper he was writing on.

"Yeah," John nodded. "For example, and write this down, 'I'm writing to you to let you know how I feel. I don't know how to tell you face-to-face' - now you could probably make a joke here about her secrecy or something - 'so I'm going to put my feelings into words'."

John paused so Rodney could catch up. "Then say something along the lines, 'I can't stop thinking about you. I can't get you out of my mind. When I was younger, I dreamed of the one person with whom I would share the rest of my life with. I could not see her face, but she was there. I always felt she was out there, somewhere, waiting for me to find her. And I have been looking all these years, feeling my way through life, learning lessons that later on would prepare me to become the person I am now. I've been sad and alone. Then I got your letter and I knew that day was finally here: the woman that I had dreamed of, and had hoped I would not miss meeting, reached out and found me first. And that woman is you…"

As he trailed off the soldier looked over at Rodney who was staring at him oddly. "What?"

"Don't you think that's kind of sappy?" he asked skeptically.

"It's not sappy if it's the truth. Plus women love that sort of stuff."

"Okay," Rodney hummed to himself before finishing the draft. "Here, can you look this over?"

John took the letter from his friend and read it. It was beautiful, really. Rodney of course added his own little flair. It was heartfelt and personal. Deep and sincere. Poetic and profound. Reading it for a second time John couldn't help but realize his dictation to Rodney was close to a confession for his own problem. Just replace the gender article and it could be a love letter to Lorne.

For a moment, John pondered the idea of sending Lorne an anonymous note. It would be therapeutic, he guessed, getting all the emotions out in the air. But if Lorne ever figured out it was John that sent the love letter, the Colonel could only imagine how he would react. Certainly it wouldn't end well. Shaking the thought from his head, John handed the letter back to Rodney. "It looks great. You should definitely leave that for your secret admirer to find."

Rodney bit his lip nervously. "You really think I should be doing this?"

"McKay, you should be assertive," John encouraged him. "You don't know what will happen unless you deliver it. I mean, she already says she likes you, right? What's the worse that could happen?"

Rodney nodded. "Alright, I'll do it."

"Good man," the soldier congratulated his friend, slapping the scientist on the back.

"Thanks, John," Rodney said, and he meant it.

The Colonel grinned. "No problem, Rodney. Let me know what happens, yeah?"

"Of course."

John stood and picked up his completed IOA evaluations. "Don't stay up too late working."

Rodney nodded. "Okay, see you tomorrow."

With one finally wave, John stalked back toward his private quarters. During the walk his mind drifted back to his second in command. It seemed like forever ago that they had been eating dinner together. John couldn't help but smile at the thought of having Lorne all to himself, simply enjoying his company on the cafeteria's balcony. He still regretted being called away by Sam. Maybe he could find Lorne in the morning and ask him to breakfast and pick up where their conversation left off. And, with that thought in mind, he settle down for the night, dreaming of the Major who had stolen his heart.

 **~o~o~**

 _A/N:_ **Not a very climactic chapter, I admit. But it was fun to write nonetheless. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Don't worry, A LOT of action packed chapters are coming up. They're taking me a little bit longer to write because of all the detailed fight scenes. But trust me, they're worth the wait.**

 **Just a heads up but I will be unable to access a computer over the next two weeks. As such, I will not be able to update** _Lost Among The Stars_ **until I get back from vacation. But you know what I'd love? I would love to come back and see my inbox full of reviews, favorites, and follows. *hint hint***

 **Anyway, see you guys in a couple of weeks!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **I'm back! Sorry about the delay in posting, I have been basically completely rewriting the first two chapters of this story. So that's been taking up most of my time. I'll be posting them soon so keep your eyes out for the edited chapters. Anyway, enough excuses. This chapter begins the final act of this story (you'll be happy to know that means no more new characters). There is action and a climax leading to the ultimate confession you've all been waiting for.**

 **Now, while I say this is the final act, I do not mean that it will be rushed. It took me almost 55k to set up the characters and their expositions; so, as you can guess, I am in no hurry to suddenly drop the 'love bomb' from the sky. John and Lorne have come this far without revealing their feelings. And they need spectacular circumstances to nudge them in the right direction.**

 **Enjoy!**

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

" _Major Lorne, please report to Colonel Carter._ "

The order came in just after the crack of dawn. Luckily, Lorne had set his earpiece on the nightstand next to his bed, on full volume. He was roused by its beeping and answered the call. Struck by the urgency in the relayed message, the Major quickly dressed and rushed to the control room.

Despite the early hour, Lorne was surprised to find the 'gate room bustling with activity. A few scientists were checking several control crystals while another loudly typed away on an Ancient computer. Chuck, the Canadian DHD technician, greeted Lorne and directed him toward Sam's office.

"What's going on?" Lorne couldn't help but ask.

"Mostly maintenance," Chuck shrugged. "But we received an urgent data burst from the SGC not too long ago. I'm guessing that's why you were called."

"Do you know what it was about?"

"No, but it was sent through with Dr. Jackson's IDC."

Lorne nodded thoughtfully. It was curious that a message from Earth had the archaeologist's identification code, not Stargate Command's. Still pondering the information, Lorne entered Sam's office. The Major immediately noticed that he was the only senior staff member in attendance. If the data burst was urgent, like Chuck suggested, then John or Rodney certainly would have been called - they were chief science and military officers on Atlantis after all. Instead he only saw two linguists and a sociologist calmly talking to Sam.

"Ah, Major Lorne, thank you for coming," Sam said, finally acknowledging his presence.

"Of course, ma'am," he replied, nodding politely before moving to stand next to one of the scientists.

"Well, you're all probably wondering what's going on," she said, eyeing the four in her office. "We received a data burst about an hour ago. It was from Dr. Jackson who informed me that the Ori have begun to attack many of our allies relentlessly. The Tok'ra and the Lucian Alliance has been successful in repelling most of their attacks. But the Nox and the Unas have not been so victorious. Many have died from the Ori plague."

"You four," Sam declared, turning to address everyone directly, "have been chosen to travel back to Earth to coordinate amended treaties to help our allies. We must let the Nox and the Unas see that it would benefit them to help us in our fight against the Ori. Dr. Jackson has already departed to start negotiations with the Nox."

She paused before continuing. "You four have had relations with the Unas in the past - be it with their language or their culture. Major Lorne, you in particular, know the language and are familiar with Kor Asek's tribe on P3X-403. The SGC wants you to lead a team to seek out the Unas' help in this."

Lorne blinked, shocked by the revelation. But, not willing to disobey a direct order, he simply said, "Yes, ma'am. When do we leave?"

"Because of the escalation in the war against the Ori, we have decided that it would take too long for you all to travel via the _Daedalus_. As such, we have been approved to 'gate you all back to Earth in three hours time."

"So soon?" one of the linguistics asked.

"Yes," Sam responded solemnly. "Hopefully you'll have enough time to pack a quick bag and settle any affairs or projects you have before you leave."

"When will we be briefed?" Lorne inquired.

"You will meet with General O'Neill when you get back to Earth."

Lorne nodded while the other scientists murmured among themselves.

Sam noticed their uncertainty about the task. "I know this is such short notice, but it is vital to the survival of Earth and our allies," she reassured them. "I want you to know this will not be a permanent position. Once negotiations are finished, you all will be sent back to Atlantis." She turned to gage the reactions of everyone in her office. "Any more questions?"

She was met with silence.

"Alright, you're dismissed. But please be back in the 'gate room in three hours for departure."

Lorne waited until all the scientists scampered out of the room before approaching Sam.

"What is it, Major?" she asked, settling down behind her desk.

"Has Colonel Sheppard been told yet, ma'am?"

"No," she responded, shaking her head. "I wanted to inform you of the situation before I brought him into it. I know you have a very important position here in Atlantis, Lorne. But Daniel insists that you act as the liaison with the Unas. And, I'm afraid, I have to agree with him. I know John won't be happy with the arrangement but he'll get over it. Besides, it's only temporary."

Lorne nodded. "Have you chosen my temporary replacement?"

Sam frowned slightly. "Not yet." Picking up a few discarded documents on her desk she handed them to the Major. "Here are some candidates. Any suggestions?"

"Lieutenant Abrams," Lorne immediately responded, not even bothering to read over the list of personnel that Sam provided him. "He's on my 'gate team and he's familiar with all my duties. I'm confident he'll be able to handle the position."

"Okay, I'll recommend him, but John gets the last say as who's to be his second in command."

"I understand, ma'am."

"Now go pack, Lorne. We can't have a delayed departure."

"Yes, ma'am," the Major nodded.

Lorne slowly walked out of the office. He walked passed the DHD, down the stairs, and into the nearest transporter. Once alone the full weight of his mission crashed down on him. He was being sent back to Earth! It seemed surreal. He never really went back to the Milky Way galaxy anymore, nor did he want to. Atlantis was his home now. He couldn't imagine not waking up to the sound of the ocean every morning, or seeing his friends in the cafeteria, or exploring Pegasus, or fighting the Wraith and the Replicators. The Ori were a formidable enemy, but Lorne didn't know them too well, just what he was able to gleam from mission reports. And the Unas, he was familiar with them, but it seemed like a life-time ago when he walked among the alien tribes. But still, the uncertainty of this mission was daunting. He did better with more information, not less. The fact that he didn't even know how long he would be gone was a little troubling.

When the Major finally got back to his private quarters, he quickly began to pack. He threw a few sleeping garments at the bottom of his bag along with a pair of jeans and extra t-shirts. He only decided to bring one set of his uniform, knowing he would be provided with new SGC ones when he arrived back on Earth. He threw in his hygiene products last.

With his bags packed, he set about finding the bone necklace gifted to him by Kor Asek. If he wore it in a meeting with the Unas he knew negotiations would be in his favor. He would be welcomed by showing respect for their culture. But for the life of him, he couldn't remember where he put it!

A loud rapping sounded on his door.

Lorne rushed over and opened the door. "Yeah?"

"Hey, Lorne."

It was John.

"Come in, come in," Lorne beckoned briskly before turning back to scour his room for the missing necklace.

Glancing around the chaos in the Major's room, and barely ducking a dirty shirt that was thrown his way, John crinkled his brow in confusion. "Woah! What's going on?" the Colonel asked.

Lorne picked up his pack and slide it out of the way so he could peer under his dresser. "Huh?" he mumbled, obviously distracted.

John looked at the packed duffle bag, eyes wide. "What the hell? Are you packing?" He looked over at the Major. "Lorne, answer me!" he ordered.

"I've been called back to Earth, sir," Lorne responded, his head now buried in his sock drawer. As such, he wasn't able to witness the color drain from his commanding officer's face.

"What for?" John asked, his voice slightly strangled.

"Negotiations with the Unas. Didn't you talk to Colonel Carter?"

"No," John replied, shaking his head. "I haven't seen Sam since yesterday."

Lorne turned to look at the senior soldier. "She said she was going to tell you. I only just got the order about an hour ago."

John blinked. "Oh."

"Yeah, the request came in with an urgent data burst from the SGC. I'm supposed to 'gate out in about two hours."

"How long will you be gone?"

"I'm not sure," Lorne shrugged, moving over to look under his bed frame. "Until the negotiations are over, I guess." He crouched down and stuck an arm under the mattress. Sticking his tongue out in concentration, he dug around until he found something. "Got it," he said triumphantly, smirk proudly forming on his face. But his smile fell when all he pulled out was an old watch that he thought he lost a year ago. "Damn it," he grumbled. He tossed the watch on his bed before fishing around under the mattress again.

"What are you looking for?" John asked curiously.

"A necklace, sir."

"Why would you have a necklace?"

"It's a ritualistic necklace gifted to me by the Unas," Lorne explained. "It's made of Goa'uld bones and Naquadah."

"Oh. Like this?" the Colonel asked.

Lorne looked up and saw John holding the much sought after item. "Where was it?" he demanded, rushing to his feet.

"It was hanging from your lamp," John responded, pointing to the reading lamp on Lorne's desk, "in plain sight."

"Of course it was," Lorne grumbled, taking it from his commanding officer. He carefully folded the necklace and put it in the pocket of his BDUs. Then, moving back over to his pack, he picked it up and threw it over his shoulder.

The Colonel trailed after him. "Do you have time for breakfast before you go?"

"I think so, sir," Lorne said.

"Awesome," John smiled.

Breakfast was a quick affair. They both opted for plain oatmeal and coffee before settling down on the balcony. Lorne didn't want to stay too long because he still wanted to say goodbye to his other friends before he left. The two soldiers tried to make small talk but, in the end, Lorne just ended up reporting all the duties that John would have to take over in his absence. The Major also informed John that he would have to pick his temporary replacement. He once again recommended Lieutenant Abrams, stating that he was a suitable second in command for John.

After breakfast, John promptly left to go speak to Sam while Lorne went off to say goodbye to his friends. He found Radek and David in the labs. They were both startled to hear of his sudden departure but wished him well nonetheless. Rodney, however, did overhear the conversation and requested that Lorne pick up some chocolate on Earth before he returned to Atlantis. Lorne informed the scientist that he wouldn't be able to, seeing as he would not be leaving Stargate Command except to go to the negotiations. Rodney didn't take kindly to the news but quickly got over it when Radek suggested a friend who could easily fetch chocolate for Lorne while he was off-world.

"Just let him know what you want and he'll have it ready for you by the time you return," the Czech scientist told him. "I'll email ahead and tell him to expect you."

Thanking him, Lorne continued on his way to see Grace. The linguist was still in her quarters when the Major found her. She was very disappointed to hear her best friend would be leaving Atlantis for an unknown amount of time. Lorne, however, was confident that she would be fine. Between all her new friends and her budding romance with Rodney, he knew she could cope without him.

Lastly, Lorne ran into Laura in the Marines' locker room. The Lieutenant was just getting off the night shift and was clearly sleep deprived. It took Lorne almost three minutes before Laura finally understood what he was trying to say. As such, when she did figure it out, she gave him a bone-crushing hug. They talked for a few more minutes before Lorne ordered her to bed.

Lieutenant Abrams caught up with Lorne outside the 'gate room. He told the Major of his new posting as Atlantis' temporary second in command. Lorne smiled knowingly and congratulated him.

Abrams, of course, was nervous about the position. He knew the duties he was charged to do and, being on Lorne's team, he was familiar enough with the potential dangers of the job. As such, he approached Lorne with hopes of getting some guidance. The Major was more than happy to oblige.

"Keep it simple," Lorne told him, rattling off a list of advice. "Take ownership, be decisive, and always have a backup plan. Don't let people see that the job gets to you, but don't keep it bottled up. Just find the right people to talk to. The right friends. Be a good listener and trust your gut…"

For a half hour, Abrams listened intently. He soaked up the information, but he wasn't afraid to ask questions - one reason why Lorne liked the Lieutenant so much. Even the best leaders needed input from their teams regularly. It would keep them from getting too cocky and overconfident. It's a leader's responsibility to allow his team's voices to be heard and, more importantly, to learn from them. Not only will it empower them but it will make the leader better. Leaders don't always know all the answers, so it's important to surround themselves with the people who do. That's why John and Rodney worked so well together. John led and strategized while Rodney provided all the logic and reasoning. And when Rodney wasn't confident with his answer, John wasn't afraid to question him.

"But know this," Lorne told the Lieutenant, "you can't control everything."

Luckily, the Major knew Abrams was flexible. The Lieutenant was able to go with the flow of command - this was important because orders often changed and split second decisions were frequent in the field. And while Abrams followed orders, he was also prepared take over when he needed to. The Lieutenant was learning, whether he knew it or not. He was strong, loyal, and trustworthy. But he was also experienced and cynical enough to look beyond the surface, to dig deeper to find the truth. A good balance for any soldier.

"Shit happens," was Lorne's parting advice.

And it was true. No matter how much a leader planned and strategized anything could happen. All soldiers knew this, it happened often enough. So, while Lorne didn't necessarily need to tell Abrams that, he knew it had to be reiterated. Because anything could happen in Pegasus. And if anything did happen to someone under the leader's command, the leader would be held accountable. Whether it was his fault or not.

The Lieutenant thanked Lorne, knowing the advice he received was invaluable. The Major nodded, patted Abrams on the back, and continued on his way. Five minutes later Lorne found himself standing in front of the activated Stargate. The other three scientists who were to accompany him - the two linguists and the sociologist - were also there, bags and all.

John was there too.

From the bottom of the stairs, the Colonel watch the proceedings like a hawk. He seemed nervous. His arms were crossed and his brow was furrowed. He clearly wasn't happy with the arrangement. He kept snapping at anyone who tried to talk to him.

Lorne knew it was because he was leaving Atlantis, that he would no longer be under the Colonel's watchful eye. The Major knew John liked to protect those he loved, almost all the missions with his team were evidence enough. But now, with Lorne leaving for Earth, John had no way of knowing what could happen to him. John had no way of protecting him from all the potential threats of the Milky Way galaxy. The Ori were dangerous foes after all.

After a few moments John caught Lorne looking at him so he stalked forward.

"What am I going to do without you, Lorne?" John playfully asked, a small smile tugging at the corners of his pursed lips.

"You'll survive," the Major responded. "That is, if you manage not to run into trouble while I'm gone."

John smirked. "No promises."

Lorne rolled his eyes.

Hoisting his pack high, the Major walked up the ramp and toward the activated Stargate. After Chuck announced the shield was down on the other side, one of the linguists bravely took the first to step through the event horizon. Following suit, the other two scientists also passed through the Stargate.

"Well, go save the world, Iron Man!" John called.

The Major laughed at the use of his old nickname. "Yes, sir!" he saluted sloppily - and then disappeared through the blue ripple of the event horizon.

 **~o~o~**

As Lorne stepped through the Stargate, John couldn't help but feel completely lost. Everything was out of his hands. But it wasn't like when missions went awry or when he wasn't the ranking officer. It was different this time. There were too many uncertainties that he couldn't control. There were no missions, no check-ins, no exploring, and no immediate return.

As the Stargate shut down John spotted Lieutenant Abrams standing on the balcony overlooking the 'gate room. Deciding to meet with the soldier that was to be his temporary second in command, the Colonel jogged up the stairs.

"Abrams!" he called out as the Lieutenant moved away from the railing and toward the exit.

"Sir?"

Catching up the the man, John placed his hand on Abrams shoulder. "I wanted to talk to you about your new posting."

"Of course, sir," Abrams nodded. "I briefly spoke to Major Lorne before he left but I appreciate any extra instruction."

"Yes, I'm sure Lorne was able to tell you about the particulars of your duties," John spoke, leading the Lieutenant to the balcony behind the control room. Luckily it was empty of personnel. "But I wanted to let you know that, due to the most recent data burst, we have a senior staff meeting after lunch. You are to attend, of course."

"I'll be there, sir."

"Great," John said, clapping his hands together. "Also, I think it would be best to take your 'gate team off the duty roster. You'll be swamped while you get your bearings and I don't want to add any unnecessary distractions."

"Of course, sir," Abrams acknowledged. "Besides, we're down a member as it is."

"Another thing, if you come across any paperwork that Lorne would usually do, give it to me. Even though you are technically second in command over the military contingent, you do not have the necessary clearance to handle some of the more sensitive materials." This was something John learned earlier when meeting with Sam. It was unfortunate that he had to do extra paperwork while Lorne was gone, but it seemed appropriate. "I can try to work on getting you clearence but we don't know how long Lorne's going to be gone…"

"I understand, sir," Abrams responded.

"Wonderful, I'll see you after lunch then."

Taking the Colonel's words as his dismissal, Abrams saluted before retreating back into the control room.

Sighing, John turned his gaze upon Atlantis. It was still fairly early in the morning so the sun hung low in the sky. Its rays bounced off the Ancient spires and created an ethereal halo round the city. It was magnificent. He wished Lorne was there to see it.

John winced. Lorne had barely been gone fifteen minutes and he was already brooding. He needed to pull himself together. Lorne would be back soon. All he had to do was wait. He could wait, he had been doing it long enough.

Shoulders slumped, John ran his hands through his messy hair. He was due for a haircut, he realized. Maybe Teyla could trim it for him. Not wanting entertain his miserable thoughts anymore, he decided to find the Athosian warrior. So John left the balcony to search for Teyla.

 **~o~o~**

 _A/N:_ **Oh no, Lorne has gone back to Earth! What's John to do? Try to distract himself, of course. With Lorne gone, John goes on an adventure in the next chapter that leaves him in an interesting position… but I guess you'll just have to wait and find out.**

 **You guys, I'm so happy with the number of responses and attention that this story has received. Thank you again for everything!**

 **Don't forget to keep your eyes out for the edited versions of the first two chapters of this story. I'll be posting them soon.**

 **Please review! I love knowing what you guys think. XOXO**


	13. Chapter 13

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **Hi all! I'm really excited about this chapter. With Lorne back in the Milky Way galaxy, we finally get to see John and his team in action. And, as always, they get into more trouble than they're worth. More daring situations await during these last few chapters as we finally step off Atlantis and experience the perils of the Pegasus galaxy head on.**

 **I am still in the process of rewriting and editing the first two chapters of this story. When they're finished I'll let you guys know so you can check them out. But enough about that… Action, adventure, and allure awaits! Enjoy!**

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

Three weeks flew by in the blink of an eye.

The war against the Replicators made the Wraith desperately clamoring to secure a large enough food source to sustain their regenerative properties. Everyone was on high alert due to escalating Wraith attacks on human populations, so the teams on vulnerable planets were called back to the city immediately. As such, John had his hands full coordinating the retreat of several off-world teams.

The Atlantis expedition had been lucky enough to not have a single casualty during the past few weeks, and John wasn't willing to change that fact.

Scampering around the galaxy was exhausting, John decided. He was on his last leg. He had been trying to distract himself from the fact that Lorne was still on Earth. And, honestly, it worked. For a while. Every rescue mission made John wish he had Lorne by his side - the Major was always exceptionally good at last minute rescue strategies.

When all off-world teams that were in danger were safe and secure back on Atlantis, John decided to take a break from harrowing rescue operations and go on a simple resupply mission. Dr. Mackenzie, who was studying a race of primitives with "little or no social inhibitions" - his words, not John's - on a paradise planet, needed supplies. Unfortunately for the science team at the research station, the nearest Stargate was in orbit around the planet. As such, John volunteered to fly a Puddle Jumper of supplies to the expedition.

But, on his return to Atlantis, the Colonel was attacked and captured by a mysterious spaceship with hyperdrive capabilities.

Travelers, they called themselves. Led by a fearless female captain, Larrin, they were a colony of human survivors that built spaceships to hide from the Wraith. And, in doing so, they were able to use advanced technology unlike any of the other human populations in the Pegasus galaxy.

As it turned out, the Travelers needed John's ATA gene to activate an Aurora-class battleship that they had stumbled upon drifting in space.

After being beaten, threatened, and brought aboard, John daringly hijacked the Ancient ship. He immediately jumped into hyperspace, successfully leaving the Travelers' ship behind. But even though he was in control, John was forced to relinquish command when Larrin threatened to deactivate the radiation shields, which were keeping hi and the whole crew alive.

Strategically, John shut down the ship, forcing the Travelers to keep him alive for his gene. While Larrin tried to reestablish control, they locked him in the ship's holding cells.

While briefly in control of the ship, John was able to send out a coded message to the Atlantis expedition, telling them of his location. He only hoped that Rodney was able to decipher it in time. However, his secret transmission was quickly discovered by Larrin, who informed him that the Wraith had picked up his message and were enroute.

The Colonel convinced Larrin that allowing him to use the ship's control Chair was their only chance of survival. However, while John was able to destroy the Wraith cruiser, Larrin's crew was killed in the melee.

To further their misfortune, the duo quickly learned that several Wraith scouts had made it onto the Ancient ship. They were able to kill four Wraith before Larrin was ambushed. The last remaining Wraith fed on her, bringing her to the brink of death. Fortunately for her, John came to the rescue and held the Wraith at gunpoint. The Colonel forced the Wraith to relinquish his hand blaster before demanding that the Wraith return Larrin's life-force.

Restored to her former self, Larrin expressed her gratitude with a passionate kiss.

John was too surprised to properly react. He froze, shocked to be kissing anyone other than Lorne. Completely overwhelmed, John pushed the attractive female captain away, but not before Larrin had stolen his blaster and stunned him.

He woke up to find himself alone.

Larrin informed him that the Travelers still required him, in case his genes were needed to operate the Ancient ship again. John refused, telling her that she was leading her people down the wrong path. They could never outrun the Wraith. They were doomed to a slow death. The Colonel revealed to her that the Wraith were caught in a war with the Replicators, divided on many fronts. He convinced her that it was time to strike back. In a last act of desperation, John offered an alliance between the Travelers and Atlantis, stating that they could tip the balance in the war against the Wraith.

Meanwhile, several Travelers' ships finally came to Larrin's aid. Taking the proposition under consideration, she conferred with some of her colony. They eventually agreed to the alliance. As such, Larrin allowed John to return to his damaged Puddle Jumper. The Colonel was forced to watch as the Travelers left, taking the Aurora-class battleship with them.

And, as soon as the Travelers engaged hyperspace, Abrams arrived with calvary.

" _Colonel Sheppard, this is Lieutenant Abrams. Is that you?_ " a voice crackled over his Jumper's damaged communications system.

"That's affirmative, Lieutenant. It's good to hear from you."

" _Likewise, sir,_ " Abrams responded. " _Seemed like we came pretty close to losing you there._ "

"You don't know the half of it."

A short while later, John's Jumper was fixed and given to a secondary team to pilot back to Atlantis. Finally able to sleep, John settled down for the five hour flight back to the closest Stargate. He had been running on adrenaline for the past several hours and nearly passed out when he finally had the chance to sit down.

Once fully rested and back on Atlantis, the Colonel immediately headed to the cafeteria for a late meal. He had not had anything to eat - except for an apple - during the last day. John was pleased to find that steak and potatoes were on the menu.

John moaned as he swallowed a mouthful of his meal. "That's good."

"Really?" Rodney grumbled.

"You spend enough time with a bunch of space nomads, you really learn to appreciate what you have," John replied, taking another bite of steak.

"It is difficult to imagine spending one's entire life on board a ship," Teyla said.

"Hmm," John nodded.

"If it was me, I'd go crazy," Ronon commented in his deep baritone.

"They weren't exactly the most even-keeled people," the Colonel agreed. "I'm still not even sure why they let me go."

Teyla set down her knife and fork. "Well, you did offer them an alliance. That has to be worth something."

"Or they figured out you'd be more trouble than you were worth," the Satedan suggested, taking a huge bite of potatoes.

John perked up and pointed his knife at Ronon. " _That_ is a possibility," he agreed.

Rodney narrowed his eyes. "No, there's something you're not telling us," he stated, crossing his arms. John quickly glanced down at his meal and forcefully began cutting himself another piece of steak. Taking the Colonel's silence as an admission of guilt, Rodney declared, "She was hot, wasn't she?"

John refused to look up. "I don't know what you're talking about."

The scientist rolled his eyes in disgust. "Oh, I knew it! That is so typical."

"She had me beat, Rodney," John explained, exasperated that he needed to be questioned about such a thing. "She threatened to kill me several times. It wasn't like we were hanging out in a spa together."

"Whatever!" Rodney threw up his hands angrily. "All I know is that every time I get taken captive _it's the Wraith_. Just once I would like to be taken prisoner by the _sexy_ alien!"

"Well, you may still get a chance," John sneered.

"How? What do you mean?" Ronon asked.

John shrugged. "She's still out there."

Rodney fell silent, as if pondering that fact. Teyla rolled her eyes before picking up her utensils to finish her dinner. Ronon simply snorted and shook his head. John went back to his meal, desperate to put the whole thing behind him.

But now that someone pointed it out, John noticed that he did have some fairly good luck when it came kidnappers recently. In his defense, he reasoned it was simply karma coming back around because of all the horrible captors he endured in the past - Commander Kolya in particular. John was simply being given his due. While the attractiveness of the captor didn't usually equate to a nicer kidnapping experience, it didn't hurt.

No, it did actually. It hurt a lot. Because he always had the urge to flirt and seduce with anyone he found attractive. It was his default setting, as Rodney would put it. But, because of Lorne, it never felt right to pursue anyone else anymore. It felt like John was cheating on the Major, even though they technically weren't together.

Little did the Major know just how much power he held over his commanding officer. Lorne had John wrapped around his little finger.

Over the next few days John tried to forget the whole incident with Larrin. It was difficult, however, because Rodney brought it up every time he saw the Colonel. John could only handle so many comments about him being a "sexy-alien magnet" or "Captain Kirk" before he snapped.

He needed another distraction. Luckily one of the primary 'gate teams discovered an Ancient structure built into the side of a mountain on an uninhabited planet. While Sargent Stackhouse reported that the building did not appear to be laboratory, they detected fairly large amounts of residual energy being emitted from the structure. Either way, John's team was assigned to take a closer look.

Rodney, of course, claimed he would be a sufficient, one-man science team for the mission. Sam disagreed and decided to send Radek along with extra equipment. Grace was also assigned to accompany the team to translate any Ancient inscriptions they might stumble upon.

Sam also wanted to send a second experienced team through the Stargate with John, but with Lorne still in the Milky Way galaxy, her options were limited. She eventually settled on the original 'gate team that discovered the Ancient structure. They knew the environment and could prove to be useful guides. Sargent Stackhouse readily agreed to return to the planet with his commanding officer in order to investigate the site further.

And so, the two teams departed the next morning, fully equipped to take on whatever the Pegasus galaxy decided to throw their way.

 **~o~o~**

It was Grace's first time through the Stargate, so no one was too surprised when she got sick after stumbling through the event horizon.

"It happens to everyone," Radek told her, taking the linguist gently by the elbow so she wouldn't collapse. "You will get used to it."

As the last Marine exited the event horizon, it promptly shut down. The Stargate was located in a small field of tall, dead grass. Dense forest surrounded the eclectic group on every side. A large, bald-face mountain loomed above the trees in the distance. The audible hum of mosquitoes cut through the silence.

"What have we got, McKay?" John commanded, hefting his P-90 into the crook of his arm.

"Nothing but us on the LSD," Rodney reported, giving further support to the previous claim that the planet was uninhabited. "But there is definitely an energy signature coming from the mountain. It's not as big as a ZedPM but it's very strong."

"Alright, let's head out!"

John let Sargent Stackhouse and his team take the lead. The Colonel stayed in the middle of the group with the scientists while Ronon and Teyla brought up the rear.

The incline toward the mountain was minimal so the two teams were able to make fairly good time.

To pass the time Grace and Teyla gave each other riddles to solve.

"I have one," Teyla announced. "What do you break before you use it?"

Grace tapped her chin thoughtfully. "An egg?" she asked, uncertain.

"Yes," the Athosian smiled. "Very good."

"Okay," the linguist started, grinning, "Poor people have it; rich people need it; if you eat it, you'll die. What is it?"

Teyla was silent for a few minutes. So long, in fact, that Grace was tempted to reveal the answer. Finally the Athosian replied, "The answer is 'nothing'."

"That's correct," Grace grinned. "For a moment there I didn't think you'd get it."

"Yes, that one was very difficult," Teyla agreed.

"Alright, my turn," Radek spoke up, joining the game. "With pointed fangs I sit and wait; with piercing force I crunch out fate; grabbing victims, proclaiming might; physically joining with a single bite. What am I?"

"A stapler," John answered without hesitation.

"Colonel Sheppard, I didn't know you were playing the game," Grace said, raising her eyebrows in speculation.

"It doesn't matter now," Radek grumbled, "he is correct, so the riddle is spoiled."

"What is a stapler?" Teyla asked, clearly confused by the object in question.

"Its an office supply that you use to bind two or more pieces of paper together," John explained. "You put the papers between its teeth and you push down, sending a small metal staple through the sheets so they stick together." He mimicked the motion with his hands.

"Ah, yes," she responded, "I have seen such a device on Major Lorne's desk."

They continued their words games for some time. Occasionally, John or Radek had to explain an Earth term for Teyla.

After about an hour of sedated hiking they finally reached the base of the mountain.

"How much further, Stackhouse?" John asked the Sergeant.

"Just about another ten minutes, sir," he replied, wiping sweat from his brow.

Ten minutes quickly turned to thirty when the incline sharply increased. Climbing with unfit scientists and extra equipment, the two teams were forced to slowly navigate the large boulders blocking their path. Finally they approached an indentation in a sheer rock wall. The trees began to fade away, only to be replaced with dense shrubbery. Without the hindrance of the forest, the group could finally bare witness to the magnificent structure built into the side of the mountain.

The size of a six-story building, the Ancient structure had a grand face completely covered in intricate designs. Streaks of deep blue bled among the rocks, clear signs of paint and coloring that had long since diminished over time. The cubic decorations twisted up toward several windowed openings high above them. Unfortunately, there was no discernible entrance in the rock face.

At the sight, Rodney whipped out his handheld scanner and pushed his way to the front of the group. "This is incredible," the scientist exclaimed. "It's clearly Ancient design but it bears no resemblance to anything I've ever seen before."

"It is interesting that such a building would be on an uninhabited planet," Radek commented, taking out his own equipment.

"Well, it's not a lab-" Ronon started to say before he was cut off by Rodney.

"How do you know that?"

"There was no attempt made to hide it," the Satedan pointed out. "Besides, just look at it, it's too pretty to be a laboratory."

"Labs can be pretty!"

"Oh yeah," Ronon snorted. "Name one!"

Rodney opened his mouth to reply but John beat him to it. "Ladies, let's not argue." Rodney turned red in embarrassment at the address while Ronon simply raised an eyebrow at John. "I think we should check it out before we make any assumptions," the Colonel stated. "Now, Stackhouse," he turned to face the Sergeant. "Where do you think the main entrance is?"

"We found a path that leads to an opening," Stackhouse said, pointing to a small, narrow path that twisted up toward the Ancient structure. "It seemed like the best point of entry."

"Great! Lead the way."

Taking the orders to heart, Stackhouse guided the group closer to the rock face. After hacking several bushes out of the way, they reached the entrance the Sergeant had mentioned. It was a large stone doorway with intricate wording surrounding the frame. Grace, taking the opportunity to finally be useful, started the translate the inscription.

"It reads, 'Welcome to Ja-rul-hir, house of harmony'," she told the group.

"Harmony?" Rodney asked.

"Well, this word here," Grace pointed to a squiggly marking, "has many translations. It could be 'serenity' or 'tranquility' or even 'bliss', but its most common translation is harmony - the balance of mind and body."

John furrowed his brow. "House of harmony… So it's like a spa or something?" he questioned.

"Quite possibly," Grace hummed, nodding to herself while she continued to translate the rest of the text.

"What? So we found the Ancients' vacation spot?" Rodney squawked.

"It's doubtful," the Czech scientist stated. "These energy readings are too strong for a simple spa to reside here." He showed Rodney the data on his scanner as proof.

"I would speculate that it's more like a monastery than a spa," Grace spoke up, ignoring the squalling behind her. "There's more to the inscription. It speaks of Ascension and a way to discover, and I quote, 'the great truth of the universe'."

"Now that's more like it," Rodney exclaimed. "There is no way I would have come all this way just to snoop around a spa…"

"Definitely something to investigate," John agreed. He moved closer to the writing to get a better look. And as he leaned forward, the door hummed and came to life. The frame illuminated a small panel, that was not initially visible, which popped out of the side of the mountain.

"Super gene to the rescue," Rodney sneered, slightly jealous that his own artificial ATA gene never got that kind of reaction out of Ancient devices.

John shrugged - he was used to Rodney's envy. Clipping the P-90 to the front of his TAC vest, the Colonel held out his palm and waved it over the control panel. With a mechanical whine, the stone shuttered. The doorway hissed open, emitting a foul, stale stench that caused John to gag.

"Woah, that's ripe," the Colonel coughed, hiding his nose in the crook of his arm. Eyes watering, John turned back toward the rest of his team. "So… who's first?"

"Not me," Rodney gulped. The scientist peered around the soldier, looking into the inky abyss that waited for them on the other side of the door. "You first, Sheppard."

John shook his head, smirking. "Age before beauty," he told his balding friend.

Rodney gaped. "You're two years older than me!"

"Since when?"

"Since birth!"

Growling, Ronon un-holstered his blaster. "I'll go first," he declared, pushing past the two squabbling friends. Without hesitation, the Satedan warrior stepped into the awaiting darkness. Even though the group could no longer see him, they could hear his thundering footsteps. After a few moments, Ronon called back, "You coming or what?"

"Yeah, yeah," John grumbled, rolling his eyes. The Colonel clicked on his flashlight and followed after Ronon.

The doorway let out into a large atrium. The walls of the entrance hall seemed to climb forever upward, so much so that John's flashlight beam could not reach the ceiling. Dozens of large pillars circled the room, grimy yet perfectly preserved. Several pieces of furniture lay scattered about the floor. At the far end of the atrium, a couple of long corridors winded deeper into the mountain.

Stackhouse sneezed, disturbing a thick layer of dust on the table in the center of the room.

"Energy levels are spiking," Rodney announced.

"Where's it coming from?" John demanded.

"I don't know! What do I look like, a GPS?" the scientist snarked.

"McKay," the Colonel growled.

Rodney was just about to respond when Stackhouse sneezed again. "Sorry, sir," the Sergeant apologized, when he noticed John's side glance.

Pursing his lips, Rodney said, "It's coming from somewhere deeper in the mountain."

"Can you give me a direction?"

"Umm, north?"

Shaking his head, John sighed. "Zelenka, do you have any clues about what could be giving off the energy signature?" he inquired as he shone his light around the large atrium.

"Not really," the Czech scientist reluctantly admitted.

"Okay, I guess we'll have to search the place," the Colonel declared. "McKay and Ronon, you're with me. Teyla, you can accompany Zelenka and one of the Marines. Stackhouse-" the Sergeant sneezed, "um, you and others can stay here with Dr. Richards so she can translate all this writing. See if you can figure out what this place is. Got it? Great! Stay on headset and we'll regroup in an hour."

Following orders, the group split up. Stackhouse stalked toward the entrance, excusing himself from the mountain's dusty interior, while Grace scurried toward the nearest pillar to begin translating some of the inscriptions. Radek picked up his equipment and moved to follow Teyla down one of the long corridors, heading north. Finally, John tailed behind Ronon and Rodney as they walked down the other northerly hallway.

With Ronon and Rodney in the lead, John was forced to offer his flashlight as the scientist's personal guiding light, ensuring that Rodney didn't trip while he focused on his handheld scanner. After several minutes they stumbled across their first abandoned room.

Guns raised high, Ronon and John entered the room, clearing it before allowing Rodney to cross the threshold. The chamber was empty save for a large console in the middle of the room. Wiping off a thick layer of dust, Rodney activated the console, bringing up what appeared to be a holographic schematic of the mountain complex.

"Cool," John whispered, watching, wide eyed as his friend easily manipulated the map to show their present location.

"Well, according to the sensors, we're the only living things in the building at the moment," Rodney announced. "But this place is far bigger than I first thought. There are several tunnels at lead fairly deep into the mountain."

John nodded, noting the expansive area that the map covered. "Can you see where the others are right now?"

"Yeah, there's a cluster of three moving toward what appears to be an auxiliary power station-"

"That must be Zelenka."

"-and there's another four life signs in the atrium."

"Is there anything useful on the map that could tell you where we might find this 'great truth of the universe' that Dr. Richards mentioned?" John asked as he moved closer to the console.

The scientist snorted. "As if the Ancients would just label something like that in their database," Rodney replied sarcastically.

"Just look, McKay!"

"Okay, okay, no need to get snappy." The scientist proceeded to type several commands into the console before frowning at the hologram results.

"What is it?" Ronon grumbled.

"There's a room at the end of this hallway simply labeled '42'..."

"Yeah, so?" the Satedan shrugged.

John's eyebrows shot up. "Wait, did you say 42? As in the _Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything_?"

The balding scientist rolled his eyes. "Well, while I highly doubt the Ancients read _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ , it is an interesting coincidence that it is the only room marked with a number and not a descriptive name."

"We should check it out," Ronon stated. And, completely ignoring his fellow soldier's elation and the scientist's skepticism, he headed for the doorway leading to the hall.

"Just imagine," John grinned, bouncing up and down in excitement, "What if the answer to the universe really is 42? To think that a British author had it right all along! How do you think he knew?"

"Probably a lucky guess," came Rodney's nasally response. "Besides, what use is a number when you don't even know the question it answered?"

"I agree with McKay," Ronon said. "It's not like it would help us in the fight against the Wraith."

"Oh, you guys suck," John pouted, childishly crossing his arms in disappointment.

Just then the lights came flickering on. The long hallway became illuminated, showing a plethora of doors on either wall. The team's earpiece crackled to life.

" _Colonel Sheppard?_ " Radek asked, his voice slightly distorted over the microphone.

"Yeah, I'm here," John replied, tapping his own headset on.

" _I was able to restore power_ ," the Czech scientist reported.

"Yeah, I see that."

" _We discovered what appears to be a generator, but it is not the source of the large energy readings._ "

The Colonel nodded. But realizing Radek could not see him, he also said, "Alright. McKay found the building schematics so we're headed to check out some of the rooms. We'll keep you updated."

" _Of course, Colonel_ ," Teyla responded in Radek's stead. " _If we find anything on our end, you will be the first to know._ "

"Thanks, Teyla. Sheppard out."

John clicked his earpiece off.

Turning to his friends, the Colonel said, "Is there anything interesting in these other chambers?"

"Not really," Ronon responded, glancing into one of the many rooms that lined the long corridor. "They're mostly empty."

"And I'm not getting any significant energy readings from them," Rodney added.

"Alright, might as well go find the answer to the universe," the Colonel grinned.

And so, ignoring all the chambers on either side of the hallway, the trio began their trek deeper into the mountain.

They walked in silence for several minutes before John grew bored. "So McKay…" he drawled, eyeing his friend next to him, "have you heard back from your secret admirer recently?"

"As a matter of fact, yes," the scientist stated proudly. "We have been exchanging letters over the past few weeks and we actually just met for dinner yesterday."

"Really?" Ronon asked. "I don't remember seeing you in the cafeteria at dinnertime."

"That's because we ate in her room."

"McKay, you dog!" John laughed, playfully punching his friend's arm.

Trying to hide his blushing face, Rodney ducked his head as if he were examining his handheld scanner more closely. "We mostly talked," he admitted.

"Doesn't matter," the Satedan shrugged.

"Yeah," John nodded in agreement. "So, you going to tell us who the lucky lady is?"

"Uhhh, no."

"Oh, come on, McKay," the Colonel begged, clasping his hands under his chin and using his best puppy-dog eyes. "You have to tell us."

"No," Rodney relied, more confident. "We want to see how things go before we announce anything."

Ronon raised a thick eyebrow. "Why? She embarrassed to be seen with you?"

"What? NO!" Rodney gaped, flustered that his teammate would assume such a thing. "If you must know, I requested that we wait. I don't want to rush into things like I did with Katie," he explained, referring to his previous girlfriend, Dr. Katie Brown. She was a botanist on the Atlantis expedition. As kind as she was smart, she gave Rodney a chance at love. He almost ended up proposing to her before he had a serious reality check during an inconvenient Quarantine lockdown.

Seeing the logic behind the scientist's choice, John conceded, "That's probably for the best. But I'm warning you," he stuck his finger underneath Rodney's nose, "I'm going to find out sooner or later."

Just then they reached the end of the corridor. A large door, very similar to the entrance of the mountain, blocked their path. Rodney impatiently waved his hand over the invisible control panel. On his third try, the door finally opened to reveal a circular room.

The light from the hallway spilled into the empty chamber. There was no console, no furniture, no anything. The room had several circles carved into the floor. The circular carvings nested in each other, growing smaller and smaller until they reached the center of the chamber.

Rodney bustled into the room, trailing his hands over the walls of the chamber in search of a hidden console or control panel. Curious, John followed Rodney into the room. However, once the Colonel entered, the ground immediately began to hum. The biggest circle closest to the door suddenly glowed with blue fluorescent energy. He took another step. The second largest circle lit up as well. The blue light seemed to follow the Colonel with each step he took.

"These energy levels are off the chart!" Rodney exclaimed, furiously typing on his handheld computer.

Hypnotized by the illumination, John continued to walk toward the center of the seemingly empty chamber.

Ronon cleared his throat. "I think we should wait for the others." He paused, looking over at the Colonel. "Sheppard?"

"Huh," John blinked, tearing his eyes away from the still glowing ground. "Yeah?"

"We should probably wait until the others arrive before you do whatever it is you're doing," Ronon repeated, wearily looking at the glowing circles.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he conceded. Just then, John reached the center of the room and the final and smallest circle came to life.

Silence descended.

It was as if sound had never existed. Stunned, John turned to face his friends. He saw Rodney frantically waving his arms at him. Ronon's mouth moved but no noise came out. Staring at them, eyes wide, John's heart silently thudded in his chest. He held his breath.

 _Boom!_

The ground shuttered as a large pulse of blue energy exploded out of the chamber's epicenter. The force of the pulse violently slammed into Rodney and Ronon. The two teammates were flung against the wall with considerable might. John, who was still standing at the center of the explosion, froze. He couldn't move.

Then there was pain.

It felt like his blood was boiling. His nerves were set aflame. It hurt like nothing he had ever experienced before. All of his muscles seized simultaneously, making John convulse.

Another pulse erupted.

Ronon and Rodney were knocked back down.

"Turn it off!" the scientist cried. "Turn it off!"

Frozen in place, John couldn't respond. His heart beat frantically. Sweat broke out on his forehead. His mouth opened to admit a gaping, silent scream. Tears threatened to stream down his face. His body convulsed again.

A third blue pulse thundered outward and shook the chamber.

Blood dripped from John's nose.

"Please, turn it off! John! JOHN!" Rodney screamed.

"Stop it, Sheppard!" Ronon roared, throwing himself toward the Colonel.

Two bodies collided. The force ripped John away from the center circle. The blue light immediately faded. John's muscles relaxed and he became limp. Ronon picked his friend up and, careful as to not let his feet touch the ground, carried John back to the room's entrance.

The Satedan warrior gently propped the Colonel's body against the corridor's wall. "Close the door," he ordered Rodney. The scientist rushed to comply. Turning back to John, Ronon was relieved to find him conscious.

John body shook with each breath. His arms and legs felt like jelly. He groaned when he shifted his position slightly. "W-what," he took a deep breath, "the fuck," another breath, "was t-that?"

"I was hoping you could tell us," Rodney said, kneeling down in front of the Colonel. "What did you do?" he demanded.

"N-nothing," John told the scientist, still gasping for air. "Stuff j-just started to glow. Y-you know I can't c-control it sometimes."

"We'll figure it out later," Ronon snapped. "We should probably get out of here. The ceiling doesn't look very sound." The Satedan pointed to a large crack that began to form above their heads.

Although the pain was already beginning to recede from his limbs, John allowed Ronon to help him up. And, throwing his arm over his teammate's shoulder for support, he slowly wiped away the blood still flowing from his nose.

Suddenly their earpieces crackled to life. " _-ir? Sir? Are y- there?_ " Static erupted from the device, disrupting the full message. " _We- safe… Richards blee-_ "

"What's going on? Stackhouse?" John hopelessly tapped at his headset.

"We're too deep in the mountain," Rodney said. "We can't get a good signal."

"Let's get back to the atrium," John ordered, concerned by the urgency in the Sergeant voice. Anxious to check on the rest of his team, John released his hold on the Satedan's shoulders, allowing Ronon to walk unhindered. And while his legs still felt weak, he hurried after his two friends down the hallway and away from the mysterious chamber.

In their rush to get back John stumbled once or twice. He was forced to steady himself on the wall. Once stabilized, he would continue on. Rodney looked at him worriedly but John brushed him off with a reassuring smile.

The teammates made it back to the atrium in record time. The entrance to their corridor was partially collapsed, forcing the three of them to carefully climb over the large chunks of stone that had fallen in their path. Once free, they were greeted by a Marine.

Running up to his commanding officer, the soldier asked, "Colonel Sheppard, are you alright? Do you know what that energy pulse was?"

"We're not sure what it was," John admitted. Looking around the open atrium, he noticed that most his team was still absent. "Where is everyone?"

"Dr. Richards is outside with Sergeant Stackhouse. She hit her head during the first pulse but she isn't bleeding too badly," the Marine replied, pointing toward the entrance of the Ancient building. "But we haven't heard back from Teyla or the rest of the team, so we don't know if they were caught in a collapsed tunnel."

"Give them a few minutes before you send out a search party," the Colonel said. Knowing full well how resourceful the Athosian was, John suspected she would contact them as soon as possible. He turned to his other two teammates and said, "Ronon, check to see how stable the rest of the mountain complex is. We don't want to do any more exploring unless it's completely safe. McKay, see if you can boost the radio signals."

Several minutes passed before they were able to raise Teyla on her headset. She reported that they were all unharmed, although a little shaken. " _We are almost back to the atrium_ ," she said.

"Good," John nodded as he talked into his headset. "We need to regroup before we do anything else."

Meanwhile, Rodney attempted to examine the energy readings his computer catalogued during the earlier energy surge. "It looks like the chamber was converting your brain waves into solidified energy," he told the Colonel. "But you're body wasn't ready for the energy conversion. The convulsions you experienced were probably due to overstimulation."

"You're saying my brain was so overwhelmed it panicked and caused all those explosions?" John gapped. "Shit, McKay, that's dangerous!"

"I know! We're lucky you didn't take down the whole mountain."

"Why the fuck would someone build something like that?"

Rodney scowled. Reading over the data on his laptop, he stated, "Well, the chamber's original purpose wasn't to convert brain waves. It says here that it was a meditation room…"

"What, really? Are you sure?"

"Uh, yeah!" the scientist said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "I can only guess that over the past ten thousand years the original systems must have suffered damage. Anyway, the chamber was only meant for someone with a clear mind - which, by the way, you obviously don't have - or else the person would have been subject to mental pain, something that destroys the 'self'," Rodney frowned and mumbled, "I don't really know what means, I'll have to remember to ask Grace."

John's eyebrows rose, shocked that Rodney would admit to needing help with translations. He was also surprised by the scientist's use of the linguist's first name. "Grace, huh?"

Rodney ducked his head. "Well, that's her name, isn't it?"

Convinced that he saw his friend blush, John was tempted to ask more questions but he decided to let it go given their current - and potentially dangerous - situation. "So the machine didn't do what it was supposed to…?"

"Well, that's not entirely true," Rodney interrupted. "The chamber was designed to sent low levels of energy into the person in the room in an attempt to break their concentration. It was like a training room for blocking out distractions. Pretty cool, right? Well, I mean it would be cooler if it actually worked. Instead the chamber reversed the current of energy flow and turned it into an explosive burst. Wow, the Ancients inadvertently created a really powerful weapon while attempting to get closer to Ascension."

John hummed, slightly impressed with the apparent blunder.

The distant sound of stomping feet caused the pair to turn and witness Tryla, Radek, and another Marine exit one of the many corridors lining the atrium. Curiously, it was not the same hall that the group departed in earlier. When asked, the Athosian informed John that they had to circumvent their original corridor when the ceiling collapsed.

"How is everyone else?" Teyla inquired, observing the group before her.

John shrugged. "Just some bumps and bruises, nothing too serious."

"Sir! We have a problem," Stackhouse announced, running up to the group.

"What is it?" the Colonel snapped, noting how the Sergeant was anxiously gripping his P-90.

"We just spotted a Wraith dart. It must have come through the 'gate!"

John paled.

Throwing his hands up into the air, Rodney exclaimed, "Well, this day just keeps getting better and better!"

 **~o~o~**

A/N: **Yikes, sorry for the cliffhanger. This chapter was originally longer but I decided to cut it in half so you had something exciting to read next time. As you could probably guess, the Wraith finally make an appearance in the next chapter! So expect epic battles, daring escapes, and (my personal favorite) major whump!**

 **This chapter was a blast to write. I can't to hear what you guys think. So please review and favorite!**

 **(P.S. - keep your eyes out for the revised Chapters 1 & 2!)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _A/N:_ **Happy New Year!**

 **Wow, we just passed the 70,000 word count! This story has really taken off since last year. It's really exciting. Thank you for all your support. I couldn't have done it without you guys!**

 **I'm happy to report that with all the traveling I've done over the past week for the Holidays I have finished editing the next two chapters. As such, I expect to publish another chapter in the next week or so.**

 **The last chapter was originally longer but I decided to cut it in half. As you could probably guess, the Wraith finally make an appearance in this chapter! So expect epic battles, daring escapes, and (my personal favorite) major whump!**

 **But without much further ado, there is part two.**

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

"Fuck!" John swore, running his hands through his spiky hair. "What are the Wraith doing here?"

"It's probably a scout," Ronon supplied, coming up from behind John. "If there's a Hive in this system they definitely would have detected that energy pulse."

"We need to get back to the Stargate!" John commanded, suddenly fearful for the lives of his team. Immediately devising a defensive strategy, he ordered, "Stackhouse, get heavy artillery up front. See if we can shoot down that dart!" While the soldiers fumbled about, the Colonel gathered the scientists to him. "We have to run to the 'gate. Leave behind any equipment that's not important or a possible risk to Atlantis, it'll only get in the way. Zelenka, stick with Teyla. Ronon and McKay, you're together. Richards…" John suddenly frowned, not immediately seeing Grace. "Where's Richards?"

"She's sitting outside," Stackhouse replied. "Her head started bleeding again."

"Okay, she'll be with me," John decided, unclipping the P-90 from his TAC vest. "No time to waste, let's go."

The group bustled with activity, trying to prepare themselves for their immediate evacuation from the mountain complex. While Radek and Rodney anxiously debated about what equipment to leave behind, John headed to the building's entrance to check on Grace's well-being. Just outside the entrance the wounded linguist sat with her military escort, who was wrapping her head with one of the many gauze strips the soldiers carried in their pockets. The Colonel immediately dismissed the Marine, informing him of the plan to strike the Wraith dart. Once he was gone, John addressed the linguist, "You'll be under my protection, Dr. Richards. I know you're injured but-"

Grace interrupted him, "I should be alright, the cut is fairly shallow and I haven't lost too much blood."

"Nevertheless, we need to run back to the 'gate. Are you up for it?"

"Yes," she replied, nodding earnestly. "I'll be fine."

"You need to stick with me at all times," John told her seriously. "I don't think Lorne would ever forgive me if you got killed on your first mission."

"He'd get over it," Grace lightly joked, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "Evan needs to realize that he can't control everything."

Ignoring her dismissive comment, he asked, "Do you have a weapon?"

"No," Grace answered, shaking her head.

"Here," John un-clipped the handgun from his leg-holster, "use this. I'm assuming you know how to shoot?"

Carefully taking the gun and checking that the safety was engaged, Grace responded, "I've had the training, but I'm not a very good shot."

"That doesn't matter," the Colonel assured her. "If we encounter Wraith just aim for the chest, that will at least slow them down enough so I can finish them off."

Just then the rest of the teams exited the Ancient structure.

"We're ready, sir," Stackhouse reported.

"Alright," the Colonel nodded, straightening his back. "Artillery up front, the rest behind me," he ordered, adjusting the grip on his semi-automatic weapon. "Let's head out!

The group hastily made their way down from the mountain complex. Careful of the rocks and boulders in their path, they sprinted toward the tree line, desperate for natural cover from the Wraith ship that was scouting the skies above them. The whistling scream of the dart was heard in the distance, confirming the alien presence on the planet. Luckily, they reached the forest without incident. With the Marines in the lead, and Stackhouse at the rear, the group continued their dash to the Stargate.

With the adrenaline flooding their systems, and the advantages of the decline away from the base of the mountain, the group covered a lot of ground in a short amount of time. But, just as they thought they had escaped possible peril, two more Wraith darts appeared in the sky.

"Shoot it down!" John ordered over the noise. He fired several shot at the ships' underbellies in an attempt to disable the crafts. Suddenly, a culling beam appeared before him, heading at the group. "Scatter!" John commanded, grabbing Grace and rolling out of the path of the beam.

Hiding behind a tree, and supplied with only a handgun, Grace tried to provide cover fire for Teyla and Radek as they continued to dodge the culling beams. One of the Marines had a lucky shot and took down the first Wraith dart just as it was about to cull Stackhouse.

Taking the small victory, the group continued to rush to the Stargate. However, when they came upon the clearing several minutes later, they were met with resistance - six Wraith guarded the Stargate. Using the element of surprise, the soldiers burst through the tree line and immediately cut down two of the Wraith before retreating back.

Drawing fire, John ducked behind a thick stump. "We need to dial the 'gate before more reinforcements arrive!"

"I can do it!" Stackhouse called out from behind his own hiding place. "But I'll need backup."

"Ronon, cover him!" John cried.

Nodding, the Satedan ran to join the Sergeant.

Noting their progress from behind his stump, the Colonel ordered, "Rodney, you're with me and Richards," effectively taking care of Ronon's scientist charge.

Ronon and Stackhouse quickly started to circle the clearing in order to get closer to the DHD. When one Wraith noted their change in position and retaliated, Ronon rapidly fired several rounds, killing it. Three down, three to go.

Meanwhile, one of the Marines took a stun blast to the chest. Teyla was quick to drag the unconscious soldier back behind the tree line while Radek provided cover fire as best he could.

From his position, John could see two of the remaining Marines get pinned down behind a cluster of trees. They were stuck - too far from the fight to be any help. The Colonel stood up from behind his stump and emptied the remainder of his clip into the nearest alien. The Wraith fell.

Reloading his P-90, John glanced over at Rodney and Grace who were still under his watch. The balding scientist had his gun up, occasionally ducking around the stump to take pot-shots at the Wraith. Grace acted as a lookout, relaying the aliens' positions to Rodney for him to shoot.

Confident they would be fine, John refocused on the two remaining Wraith. Peeking around the stump, he witnessed Ronon and Stackhouse burst out of the tree line and open fire, quickly downing another alien. The last Wraith spun, surprised by the sudden attack, and launched himself at the Satedan warrior, knocking him to the ground. Having lost the grip on his blaster in the impact, Ronon unsheathed his long hunting knife. Rolling to the side, he flipped back onto the balls of his feet and began to exchange several powerful blows with the Wraith while Stackhouse sprinted to the DHD and started to dial the address for Atlantis.

Unable to get in a good shot without the risk of hitting Ronon, John jumped to his feet and charged toward the Stargate. "Move, move, move," he shouted into his headset, calling forward his men to finish off the last Wraith that blocked their path to freedom.

The Marines jumped out of hiding, carrying their stunned teammate. Teyla directed Radek and Grace toward the Stargate while Rodney darted forward to help the Colonel.

Ronon grunted as one of the Wraith's blows connected with his knee, sending him hurtling to the ground. With the Wraith now completely exposed, John and Rodney opened fire. Hot lead tore through the alien's body, causing it to shudder and jerk with each impact. Snarling, the Wraith continued to stalk forward.

Rodney couldn't help but gawk. "Why won't you die?" he ground out, issuing another round of bullets.

But before the Wraith could answer, Ronon jumped up from the ground and ran his large hunting knife through the alien's back. The blade pushed through both skin and leather until it protruded from the front of the Wraith's chest. With a gurgle and a spurt of blood, the Wraith finally fell. Dead.

Huffing, John surveyed the carnage. Behind him, the Stargate finally activated. With a whoosh, the event horizon exploded out of the ring until it settled into a calm, blue pool. Stackhouse immediately sent his IDC through. And, after Atlantis confirmed that the shield was down, he began to usher everyone through the Stargate.

Suddenly the whine of a Wraith dart was heard overheard. Everyone spun to watch the alien ship zoomed over the tree line toward the Stargate. The dart opened fire, spraying the ground with several explosive energy blasts.

"Run!" John cried, shouldering his P-90 as he began to sprint for the event horizon.

Not needing to be told twice, the group slowly disappeared into the Stargate. As the seconds passed, the dart's accuracy increased. An explosion nipped at John's heels, sending him sprawling. Ronon and Rodney, who were both behind him, grabbed the Colonel's arms and continued to drag him toward the 'gate.

Once he was able to get his feet back under him, John was able to witness the last of the scientists and Marines exit through event horizon until only Stackhouse was left. The Sergeant attempted to provide cover fire for the three teammates by shooting at the alien ship with his semi-automatic weapon. But, just as Stackhouse landed a hit, a second Wraith dart joined the first.

Overwhelmed, and still a dozen feet from the Stargate, the four men were not able to dive out the way in time before one of the second dart's energy blasts connected with the DHD.

 _Boom!_

The concussive force shook the ground. The blast sent the men flying into the air. Shrapnel from the DHD flew in every direction.

Rodney and Ronon crashed into the ground, a tangle of limbs and dirt and dead grass. The Satedan howled in pain when he landed on his already injured knee. John slammed into the soft earth a few feet away, his head striking a wayward stone. By sheer luck, Stackhouse was thrown back into the event horizon right before the wormhole disengaged and shut down.

With a screaming whine, the Wraith darts completely passed overhead and began circling back toward the clearing to make another pass at the three stranded men. With no means to dial the Stargate, the three teammates had no choice but to run back into the surrounding forest.

Scrambling to his feet, Rodney quickly lent a hand to Ronon who was trying to keep weight off his injured knee. Once John gained enough sense he gingerly picked himself off the ground, only to nearly fall back down when crippling pain radiated from his hip. Unable to help himself, John cried out in agony. Blinking back tears, the Colonel placed his hand to his lower abdomen only to find blood seeping through his uniform.

"Sheppard, we need to get out of here!" Ronon yelled over the telltale whoosh of the approaching darts.

Trying to ignore the pain, John lifted himself back up. He started to run, passing Rodney who bent down to collect one of the Wraith stunners. A limping Ronon wasn't far behind. The trio sprinted into the trees, weaving in and out of the dense shrubbery in an attempt to lose the alien ships that flew above.

After several minutes - though John was convinced it felt like days - they eventually lost their pursuers.

Huffing and puffing, Rodney finally collapsed beneath a tree. "How are we going to get back to Atlantis?" he asked his equally tired friends. "The DHD is destroyed!"

"Really? I hadn't noticed," the Colonel drawled, hefting his P-90 into the crook of his arm.

"We'll have to wait until Atlantis sends a rescue team," Ronon said, wearily looking at the sky. "Or we'll have to steal a dialing device from a Wraith dart…"

"Yeah, I don't see that happening anytime soon," Rodney sarcastically grumbled.

Ronon shook his head and snorted. In an attempt at subtly, the Satedan lazily leaned against a tree in hopes that no one would notice his injury.

But John noticed how the Satedan was mindfully keeping weight off it. "How's your knee, Ronon?" he inquired.

"I think it's twisted," came the gruff response.

Knowing he wouldn't get much more out of Ronon, John turned his gaze to Rodney. "How about you, McKay?" he asked, wiping his face with sweaty palms.

"Just some bumps and bruises," the scientist answered, still trying to catch his breath. "Though I am awfully hungry."

"I think I have a powerbar," the Colonel replied, bending slightly to dig into one of the many pockets in his uniform. But, as he reached for the granola bar, pain flared throughout his entire lower abdomen. He hissed, retracting his hand to place it on the still bleeding wound.

"Shit, Sheppard, are you hurt?" Ronon asked, limping forward to check on his team leader.

"I think a piece of shrapnel grazed me," John reluctantly admitted. Lifting up the corner of his shirt, John revealed a nasty gash that was sluggishly bleeding. While it didn't look too deep it was still concerning, and Rodney voiced as much.

"Oh God, you're going to die!" the scientist wailed.

"I'm fine, McKay," John snapped. "Don't be so dramatic."

Ronon agreed with the Colonel. "He's right. Sheppard should be fine if we get him back to Dr. Keller."

Rodney, however, did not have time to argue before two Wraith soldiers burst through the undergrowth. Surprised by the attack, John barely had enough time to swing his P-90 up. He took aim and quickly emptied a clip into the first Wraith. It fell just as the second alien was stunned by Rodney's pilfered blaster. Ronon rushed forward with his long hunting knife and finished the job, effectively killing the second Wraith.

Staring at the freshly killed aliens, the trio silently agreed to move on. They began jogging deeper into the forest, staying off the paths and moving toward the denser tree cover.

After several minutes Rodney spoke up. "How did those other Wraith get here? They couldn't have come through the 'gate."

"The darts probably had a few drones demolecularization in their culling beams," John reasonably replied.

"Well, who knows how many more there are out there," Rodney panicked. "Now we have to worry about Wraith hunting us on the ground and in the sky!"

"We need a plan of attack," Ronon stated.

John nodded. "Okay, what do you suggest?"

"I don't know," Ronon shrugged. "I could set up some traps, capture the Wraith if they get on our trail."

John grimaced. "I don't think we should split up…"

"We have radios, don't we?" Rodney spoke up, fingered the headset that was still in his ear.

Ronon shook his head, "I lost mine in the fight."

John check his own, pulling the device from his ear. It was cracked. "It must have broken when the DHD exploded."

"I still have mine, and it works!" Rodney announced.

"Well, that's good," the Colonel admitted. "If a rescue party comes through the 'gate we'll be able to contact them at least."

"Alright, so no splitting up. But what about a plan of attack?" the Satedan asked again.

John snapped his fingers. "What about that chamber? Number 42?" he voiced. Nodding at Rodney, he continued, "You said the Ancients inadvertently created a weapon. Could we use it against the Wraith?"

"Probably not without killing ourselves in the process," Rodney admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we almost took out the entire mountain complex the first time and you were sent into convulsions," the scientist told him. "And I didn't even find the power source or a control console the first time…" Noting the contemplative look on his friend's face, Rodney put his hands on his hips and scowled. "What, do you think I can just rip the machine out the wall and bring it outside?"

"Uhh…"

"Don't answer that, it was rhetorical."

John pursed his lips. "Then what do you suggest we do?"

"Run. Hide."

Just then, Ronon stilled. "You hear that?"

Frozen in the spot, the trio heard the high pitched whine of another dart. They paused briefly, ducking behind a thick bush as another Wraith ship flew overhead. Once certain it was gone, they rose from their hiding place.

"We have to think of something soon," the Colonel admitted. "These Wraith have to be coming from somewhere. There's probably a Cruiser or Hive in this system. Either way, we'll have a much bigger problem on our hands if thousands of Wraith show up, not just a dozen."

"But we're back to the problem with the Ancient machine," Rodney said. "The Wraith definitely detected the energy pulse it released, that's why they sent scouts. We can't let something that powerful fall into their slimy hands."

"But they can't even activate it," John argued. "The Wraith don't have the ATA gene."

Rodney threw his hands into the air. "We still don't know all aspects of their technology! Take Michael for example, who's to say he won't create a creature that has the gene."

"Now, I think that's a bit of a stretch-"

"I'm not willing to take the risk," the balding scientist snapped. "If we can't use it then we shouldn't let the Wraith have it either. Even if they never activate it, who knows what they'll learn - about the Ancients _or_ their technology." Rodney ran his hands through his thinning hair before sighing deeply. "I won't endanger Atlantis like that…" he confessed, alluding to his own failure with Project Arcturus - the Ancient successor to the ZPM that Rondey used to accidentally destroy three quarters of a solar system due to his hubris. "As much as it pains me to say this, we need to destroy it."

Taking all the information into account, John made a decision. "Back to the mountain it is then," he announced. Rodney solemnly nodded. "But if we're going to do this, we're going to do it right." John turned to Ronon. "How much C-4 do you have?"

The Satedan pulled out a single brick of explosives. "Not much."

"McKay?"

"I have two," the scientist said, showing his own stash in the front pocket of his TAC vest.

"I also have two," John nodded. "So we have five bricks in total. You think that's enough?"

"If we place them correctly, we should have enough to destroy the machine and collapse the mountain's entrance," Rodney informed him.

"Alright, let's go."

With a plan in mind, the three teammates changed direction and headed toward the base of the mountain.

With both Ronon and John injured, the trek back to the mountain was agonizingly slow. Rodney did his best to assist the stoic Satedan over the larger boulders and downed trees the trio encountered. John didn't need as much help physically, but his abdomen had not stopped bleeding. The bandages he had wrapped over the laceration had long been soaked through, reddened with blood. Not wanting to inform the others when their goal was so close at hand, John swallowed his pain and silently marched forward.

After killing four more Wraith and barely escaping a culling beam, they finally made it to the mountain complex. John called for a halt, signaling Rodney and Ronon to wait before they crossed the open stretch of land between the tree line and the mountain's entrance.

"We can't blindly rush out there," John told his teammates. "We don't want to be surprised by any nearby Wraith. Two of us should plant the C-4 while the third provides cover and acts as a lookout."

"McKay and I can plant the explosives," Ronon growled, shifting his weight slightly.

"Are you sure?" John asked, disbelief coloring his voice. "You can barely walk-"

"I'm sure," the Satedan firmly replied. "McKay knows where the C-4 needs to be for the greatest impact and I can move any debris we encounter on the inside. No offense, Sheppard, but you can't lift anything in your condition."

John reflexively placed a hand to his bloody side. Feeling the still damp cloth, he pursed his lips. "Fine," he nodded, acknowledging a good plan when he heard one. "But make it quick. And Ronon," the Satedan arched his brow at the Colonel, "make sure Rodney doesn't touch anything."

Pulling the two bricks of C-4 from his TAC vest, John gave them to Ronon. Then he turned to Rodney. Noting the steely expression on the scientist's face, he asked, "Are you feeling confident?"

Rodney shook his head. "Not really."

"Good, because overconfidence will kill you faster than a Wraith any day." John gently placed his hand on his friend's trembling shoulder. "Fear is good."

"Oh, I have fear… _and_ doubt _and_ serious regret," Rodney rambled on. "I should be fine."

John rolled his eyes, "Stay together and don't forget to set the charges on a delay so you can get out of there before it blows." He smiled reassuringly, and gave Rodney's back a final comforting pat. "Good luck."

"No problem, Sheppard," Ronon grunted. "We'll be back before you know it."

The Colonel raised his hand to begin the silent countdown. Three. Two. One. And, with a final nod, they were off. John lifted his P-90 into the crook of his arm and watched his teammates sprint for the mountain's entrance. Checking the skies above him, John did not see single Wraith dart. The forest behind him was equally empty. When Ronon and Rodney finally reached the Ancient doorway, the Satedan gave John a thumbs up before disappearing into the darkness within.

Minutes ticked by.

Still alert, John rested against a nearby tree. Holding his semi-automatic weapon in one hand, he searched around the deep pockets of his BDUs to find some unused gauze strips. His side had started bleeding again.

Using his teeth to unwrap the cloth from its plastic package, John struggled to apply the bandage. The shrapnel injury was just under to edge of his TAC vest. If he stretched he could reach it, but his crumpled pained position made it difficult to address the wound without completely letting down his guard. Cursing to himself, John check his flank again before simply deciding to take off the cumbersome piece of his uniform. It would be for just a moment, he justified.

Crouching behind a nearby bush, John placed his P-90 on the ground within arms length. Then he ripped off his vest, careful not to aggravate his injury further. Once completely exposed John noticed that the bloody gash was worse than he first believed. The sharp shrapnel of the DHD had easily sliced through fat and muscle right above his hip bone. The wound was long - almost a handwidth across - and several centimeters deep.

It was the depth of the laceration that concerned John the most. Deep cuts became easily infected. Searching his BDUs for an antibiotic, he eventually found an alcohol pad. John shrugged; it was better than nothing. He ripped it open with his teeth and generously swabbed his injury. The stinging alcohol caused his muscles to contract, sending jolts of pain up and down his side. Blinking away tears, the Colonel looked away as he continued to dab at the laceration. Once he was content that the wound could not get any cleaner, John tossed the disinfecting pad to the ground and reached for the already opened gauze strips.

Shuddering, the Colonel bit his lip as he delicately wrapped the gauze around his side. When he was finished, it took his fumbling fingers almost a whole minute to fasten the ends together. Abdomen humming in pain and chest heaving, he bent down to retrieve his discarded TAC vest.

But something made him stop.

There was silence all around him. An unnatural quiet oozing from the woods. Only his own heavy breathing cut through the silence. Something wasn't right. A shiver ran down his spine.

Passing over the vest, John's fingers wrapped around the barrel of his P-90. Confidently settling the semi-automatic weapon into the crook of his arm, the Colonel slowly emerged from behind the dense shrubbery. Still crouched, he stalked forward, each step purposeful and silent. Sweat broke out on John's forehead. The open area between the tree line and the mountain was empty, only boulders and the wayward bush littered the ground. The sky was also clear of any darts. Standing still, John patiently waited for several more seconds. Still nothing.

Maybe the blood loss was affecting his instincts, he reasoned.

Finally deciding the area was clear, John slowly retreated back to the bush hiding his TAC vest. He needed to put it back on before-

 _Crunch._

John spun around, gun raised and ready to fire. But he didn't get the chance to pull the trigger before a Wraith slammed into him. Crying out in pain, the Colonel was flung to the ground. His P-90 skittered away from him, landing just out of reach.

A heavy weight descended on his legs as the Wraith attempted to pin John to the ground. Peering through the black dots that threatened to obscure his vision, John quickly dodged to the side just as the Wraith snapped its dangerously sharp teeth at his face. Grunting, the injured soldier grabbed the Wraith's head and twisted it as quickly as he could to the right.

 _Snap_.

He had broken the alien's neck.

Using every ounce of strength he possessed, John pushed the dead Wraith off of him. He gasped as his side flared in agony. Dry heaving, John pressed the palms of his hands on his bloody uniform. Trying to catch his breath, he stumbled over to his abandoned P-90. And, just has he picked up the weapon, two more Wraith exploded out of the undergrowth.

"Oh, come on," John wheezed.

Fingers slick with his blood, he fumbled with the trigger before sending a round of hot lead into the closest Wraith - its torso jerked with each impact. But, despite obvious injury, the Wraith only snarled and continued to advance on the injured Colonel.

The bleeding Wraith's non-feeding hand slammed into John's chest, sending him flying into the nearest tree trunk. Grunting, the already injured soldier's back collided with bark and branch. Luckily he still clutched onto his P-90 even when he limply fell onto his stomach. Breathing through the pain, John aimed for the approaching Wraith's legs - one bullet perfectly connected with the alien's knee. Its legs buckled before giving out, leaving the first Wraith completely immobile.

Leaving the downed - but not dead - Wraith, John turned his head to face the second alien who was still ready for a fight. The second Wraith decided on a less direct, but more methodical, attack.

The second alien dodged several bullets before smacking the P-90 from John's weak grip. Avoiding a kick aimed for his head, the Colonel rolled away from the base of the tree and scrambled to his feet. As the Wraith approached, John's hand desperately grappled with his leg holster - only to find it empty. Cursing, John remembered that he had given his side arm to Grace before their original dash to the Stargate.

Weaponless, John raised his hands, preparing himself for close quarter combat. He hoped he could kill the second Wraith quickly because it appeared that the first injured alien was already beginning to rejuvenate its mangled knee and struggle to its feet.

The Wraith came at him with its feeding hand, fully intending to suck the life right out of the Colonel. Sidestepping the outstretched hand, John grabbed it and used the Wraith's own momentum to flip the alien over his shoulder. The Wraith, however, landed on its feet and reversed the grip on the already wounded soldier. Crushing the Colonel's wrists in its powerful grip, the second Wraith kicked John's feet out from under him.

In his peripheral vision, John saw the first Wraith finally steady itself on its newly healed knee. It bared its teeth in a feral grin before stalking toward the two struggling fighters.

Turning his full attention back on the alien before him, John bit the inside of his cheek to keep from screaming when the Wraith twisted his arm violently. His knees dug into the soil. Sweat broke out on his brow. Growling, the Wraith applied more pressure downward in an attempt to make the Colonel completely crumble beneath its enhanced strength. At the same time, it tried to drive its feeding hand into John's chest for a second time.

Half collapsed on the soft earth, John head butted the Wraith in the stomach. Surprised by the underhanded attack, the Wraith loosened its grip on John's wrists. Taking advantage of his new mobility, the Colonel grabbed the Wraith's feeding hand and redirected it into its fellow alien's chest who was sneaking up behind the pair. Howling in pain, the first Wraith feebly struggled as its life force was suddenly drained away.

With a thud, the dried husk of the Wraith fell to the ground. Dead.

"You will pay for that!" the last remaining Wraith hissed.

"Yeah, probably," John grunted as he struggled to catch his breath.

He knew it was a risky moved. While he now had one less Wraith to deal with, John had intentionally allowed the remaining alien to feed - increasing its speed, strength, and healing ability.

Gritting his teeth in determination, the Colonel threw an uppercut in the Wraith's stomach. Snarling, the alien retaliated with a swift kick to his abdomen, connecting painfully with John's wounded side.

His breathing hitched and sputtered. It was getting harder and harder to focus. His vision wavered and faded. The Wraith grinned, sharp teeth bared in a predatory smile, knowing full well it was winning the fight. Stalking toward the hunched human, the Wraith moved in for a final, crippling blow. It hit John squarely in the jaw, sending him tumbling to the ground.

John tried to get up but his limbs failed him. He stumbled and collapsed, dry heaving. Flopping uselessly onto his back, John watch through half-lidded eyes as the Wraith slowly approached his prone form. Dead leaves crunching under each footfall.

A pale feeding-hand descended from above, intent on sucking the downed human dry. It gently brushed against the Colonel's shirt, and John closed his eyes to accept his inevitable death-

 _Boom!_

The mountain exploded behind them.

The Wraith retracted its feeding-hand, distracted by the sudden blast. A deep cracking noise sounded to their right, signaling to John that a tree was about to fall. Taking the opportunity to finish the Wraith once and for all, John kick out his right leg and tripped the alien right into the path of a falling tree. The Wraith collapsed, snarling angrily. And then, with a sickening crunch, the trunk crushed the Wraith's head beneath its tremendous weight.

As the dust settled, John finally began to hear shouts of alarm and surprise in the distance. The distinct sound of automatic machine gun fire immediately followed. Reinforcements, John realized. He smiled softly, they were saved.

John gathered all his strength and attempted to stand up. But, just then, the ground trembled with an aftershock. Part of the mountain's face crumbled in the distance and started a landslide.

John flopped down onto his back, to weak to battle both nature and blood loss. So he sighed and succumbed to the pain, hopeful that Ronon and Rodney survived the explosion and were on their way to pick him up.

 **~o~o~**

 _A/N:_ **I must admit that I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. But it was also the most difficult chapter to write. Fight scenes are so fast paced, sometimes it's hard to want to expand descriptions when you picture the event only taking place over a few short seconds or minutes.**

 **(For example, I pictured the last scene to take place in about three minutes. However, I used over 1,000 words to describe the fight alone.)**

 **I'm not paid by the word like Charles Dickens, or by the line like Alexandre Dumas... (I'm actually not paid at all - surprise, surprise.) But I feel sometimes it's hard to find the balance between too much description and too little, especially in scenes with a lot of action and not a lot of dialogue.**

 **Anyway, enough about me. I really hope you liked this chapter. Next time we will switch back to Lorne's perspective and see what he's been up to over the past few weeks. Until then!**

 **Please favorite and review.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _ **A/N:**_ **Hello my loyal readers. I'm sorry for my prolonged absence but I have been very busy of late, with both work and my free time. To make up for this fact, I will be publishing another chapter in the next week or so as opposed to my usual monthly posting.**

 **I do want to thank several followers who sent me messages and reviews to encourage my continued writing. I promise not to abandon this story, though it is taking more time for me to finish that originally anticipated. Thank you for sticking with me.**

 **This chapter is mainly from Lorne's point of view of the past weeks that he had been off in the Milky Way galaxy. That being said, a majority of the beginning will be exposition as opposed to dialogue and action. But worry not! The chapter definitely gets more interesting once Lorne makes it back to Atlantis…**

 **I don't want to give away any more than I should so I'll just leave you too it. Happy reading!**

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **all rights belong to MGM.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

Monotony.

Lorne detested, and respected, that word.

While he could hardly call his job tedious - what with the crazy adventures he endured on a more than daily basis as a member of the Atlantis Expedition - there was a certain repetitiveness that was both boring and alarming.

Mountains of paperwork. Training and drills. One rescue mission after the next. Meetings and debriefings. Death.

Constantly brushing with death by immolation and decapitation and malnutrition - not to mention possible death by Wraith - was no small feat. And even though Lorne defied death on countless occasions, he could never afford to allow himself to fall into a false sense of security. Doing so would be his downfall.

It was only logical to use his experience and adapt to every situation. That's why when he received his orders to return to the SGC and take part in forming allied treaties against the Ori, the Major adapted. He packed up and shipped out.

His assignment - aiding negotiations with the Unas - was, dare he say it, monotonous. Repetitive and exhausting. For the past three weeks he followed a strict routine. Meetings and discussions. Ritual meals. Adherence to cultural norms. Daily reports to Earth.

Being an ambassador and representative of Earth was tiring, but rewarding, work.

Many Unas tribes were wary of humans, so they were reluctant to freely offer up the addresses of their home planets. As such, P3X-403 was determined a neutral ground for the negotiations to take place.

When Lorne first arrived on the mining planet of P3X-403 he was met by several Unas tribal leaders.

" _Kor 'Uman_!" the friendly and familiar title rang throughout the air by several Unas in the welcome party.

The Major brightly smiled in response, raising his own hand in respectful greeting. The amiable salutation, however, turned tense when the Lorne's heavily armed escort also exited the Stargate.

Lorne immediately out his rusty linguistic skills to use, explaining that the team of Marines sent with him would not be taking part in negotiations.

The Major told the Unas in attendance that while he was an honorary member of Kor Asek's tribe, he was foremost the representative of the humans of Earth and their allies against the Ori. The Marines were only there for security, to ensure that no one other than Unas or Earthlings exited the 'gate. It was imperative that the Ori never discover their meeting - for the safety of both their species.

Kor Asek and Chaka - mutual friends of Daniel Jackson - accepted his explanation wholeheartedly. With their backing the other Unas eventually agreed that the Marines could remain on P3X-403, on the single condition that they stayed away from all the council meetings.

Lorne understood their fear. The Unas had long been hunted and enslaved by the Goa'uld. Such evident displays of strength and advanced weaponry was disconcerting. And though the Unas greatly outnumbered the Marines, they inherently did not trust the soldiers.

And so the Major openly ordered the contingent of Marines to camp by the Stargate. They were not to leave the clearing without his express permission. He paused before adding that the soldiers were also not allowed to prevent any Unas from leaving the planet if they so wished. Lorne did not want to keep the Unas against their will while discussions were underway; they were on P3X-403 to negotiation after all, not to coerce through the use of force.

The Unas relaxed when they saw that the humans respected their conditions to the treaty talks.

Glad he had not caused an intergalactic incident within the first five minutes of his assignment, Lorne took a moment to introduce Major Paul Davis to the tribal leaders. Stationed at the Pentagon, Paul Davis was a member of the Office of Homeworld Security. He had been assigned to accompany Lorne and the three Atlantis scientists to P3X-403 to ensure that the needs of Earth were being met.

Luckily for Lorne, Paul had experience in politics. He was frequently called to aid Stargate Command during diplomatic conflicts with other nations on Earth and other portions of the United States government. But, due to being short-staffed, the SGC decided that he was to be sent off-world to oversee the intergalactic negotiations.

Despite this, Lorne was given total command of the visiting group because of his experience with the Unas and his ability to speak the language. Paul was just an observer who was to report daily to the SGC and OHS.

After introductions were complete, Chaka invited Lorne and Paul to a tribal meeting that evening.

While the Marines set up camp by the Stargate, the two Majors set off in the direction of the hills. During their trek, Lorne spoke affably with the other Unas from his tribe. Kor Asek was pleased to see Lorne wearing his ceremonial Goa'uld-bone necklace that he had been given during his last visit. Lorne once again thanked him for the generous gift.

Kor Asek informed Lorne that he had heard of the Ori threat but his tribe had never witnessed the death and destruction they wrought upon enemies and followers alike. It was then that another tribe leader, La Karik, spoke up. The elderly Unas depicted a plague that killed many of his best warriors.

Respectfully speaking to Lorne, La Karik pledged to stand by them in the fight against the Ori. Lorne thanked La Karik, grateful to have another ally this early in his negotiations.

That evening, as was tradition, Lorne and Paul were brought before the united tribal council. As their contribution to the beginning of the ceremony, the Majors presented several bricks chocolate. Kor Asek and the other leaders brought similar delicacies, weapons, and decorative ornaments as a sign of peace and unity.

As negotiations continued into the night, Lorne became more confident in his language ability. He opened several arguments and provided visual evidence for their cause. He also occasionally translated for Paul, who wished to ask questions or give answers Lorne could not provide.

Discussions were slow and tedious, but they seemed to be proceeding nicely.

But in the second week there was a significant setback.

One particularly young Unas, who outwardly did not respect Lorne's place as an honorary tribe member, challenged the Major to a duel of sorts. The youngling asserted that Lorne had no claim to his position on the council, that he simply wanted soldiers to fight and die for the humans of Earth.

For the sake of negotiations, Lorne accepted.

The youngling was much stronger and larger than the Major. Lorne knew he has to use his agility and size to his advantage. He also had to plan precise strikes because the Unas' thick skin and study bones did not allow the youngling to be easily defeated. Luckily each opponent was given one weapon to use in battle. Lorne chose a long staff-like weapon while the youngling picked a large, gnarled club.

It was then that the Major was grateful that he continued to practice with his three-quarter staff on Atlantis. He was also particularly thankful that he had taken to joining Ronon, John, and Teyla's private sparring sessions.

That being said, he was able to win the duel against the brash youngling. But victory never came without pain. Lorne suffered a dislocated shoulder and a fairly large bump on his head before ending the fight.

The dual certainly broke up the monotony of negotiations; for which Lorne was grateful.

Afterward negotiations progressed in his favor. Impressed with his honor, fortitude and skill, the tribal leaders began to fall behind Lorne's treaty proposal.

On the last night of deliberation before a vote was to be cast and the treaty was to be signed, Kor Asek closed all arguments by announcing: "the Ori must be a terrible foe if a great warrior like _Kor 'Uman_ is asking for help". Chaka and La Karik also pledged that Earth would have their backing if Lorne asked for it.

And so it was decided - with a unanimous vote - that the Earthlings would have a new ally in the war against the Ori.

The next day Lorne, Paul, the scientists and their military escort returned to the SGC to debrief Generals Hank Landry and Jack O'Neill.

"I must say," Jack drawled, casually slumped across the SGC conference table, "I'm impressed, Major."

Lorne ducked his head, trying to hide his blushing cheeks. "Just doing my job, sir," he replied formally.

"To be perfectly honest with you, Lorne," Hank spoke up, directly addressing his subordinate, "Neither the OHS or the IOA believed we would be able to get even one tribe to be our ally… but to get the full backing of the Unas? That's quite incredible!"

Jack hummed in agreement. "They underestimated you, Major" he commented with pride. A thoughtful look crossed his features before he also added, " _We_ underestimated you."

Ignoring Jack's comment, Hank continued, "This kind of success could give you a very comfortable job and promotion back here at the SGC…"

"No thank you, sir," Lorne immediately interrupted. "But I'm very happy serving under Colonel Sheppard on Atlantis."

If the General was surprised by the rejection he didn't show it. "Well, I had to try," Hank shrugged, before shuffling around some papers before him. "We have a 'gate departure set up for you and the other scientists returning to Pegasus. It's scheduled for 1300 hours."

Jack stood up and straightened his wrinkled uniform. "That gives you enough time to go get cleaned up, Major. And stop by the infirmary, I know the doc wanted to check how your shoulder was healing."

"Thank you, sir." Lorne stood and moved toward the exit.

"Oh, and when you see Sam, tell her that she owes me a fishing trip after that trick she pulled on Langara!" Jack called out after him. "She'll know what I mean."

The Major smirked, "Yes, sir!"

 **~o~o~**

Several hours later, Lorne found himself in front of the Stargate.

Having changed back into his Atlantis BDUs, he suddenly felt very homesick. Yes, he surmised, Atlantis was his home now. He missed the ocean. He missed his friends. He missed his bed. He missed John.

Thinking of his commanding officer, Lorne wondered if the Colonel would be there to greet him when he arrived back on Atlantis.

Behind him Lorne heard Jack give the order to activate the Stargate. Nostalgia rushed through the Major's system as Walter Harriman began the dialing sequence.

"CHEVRON ONE ENCODED."

However, as fondly as he remembered his time debarking through the 'gate with SG-11, the long-winded sequence now seemed completely unnecessary. He was glad Chuck forwent Walter's tradition and simply dialed the Atlantis Stargate in silence.

"CHEVRON TWO ENCODED."

Sighing, Lorne threw his duffle over his uninjured shoulder. He didn't want to put too much stress on his previously dislocated appendage, especially since his pack was heavier on the return trip.

An hour or so ago, Radek's friend had found him outside the guest quarters and delivered an assortment of chocolates. It was a pleasant surprise. Lorne had completely forgotten his promise to the scientists back on Atlantis to bring back some of the rich sweets.

When asked, Radek's friend refused payment - saying the Czech scientist had already taken care of it. To return the favor, Lorne swung by the SGC kitchens and grabbed some cooking supplies. He was even able to swindle the head cook out of some heavy cream and tomatoes to make Radek's favorite sauce.

As such, Lorne's duffle was almost overflowing with food. Luckily, due to his rank, he wasn't required to be searched before returning to the Pegasus galaxy. Not that any of the things in his pack were necessarily banned from Atlantis; but rather he didn't want to explain why he has carrying a pound of confectioners sugar and a bottle of vegetable oil, among other things.

Lorne was pulled from his musings as Walter finally announced, "CHEVRON SEVEN LOCKED!"

The Stargate activated and the swirling blue event horizon burst forward before settling into a calm pool. Without bothering to look back, the Major calmly followed the scientists through the 'gate.

When his combat boots finally hit the ramp on the other side, Lorne was hit with the smell of salt water and the sound of Lieutenant Abrams' greeting.

"Major, it's good to have you back."

Looking around the 'gate room, Lorne didn't see John among any of the staff. Though he was disappointed that John wasn't there to welcome him back, Lorne hid his frown and responded, "It's good to be back, Lieutenant." He continued down the ramp as the Stargate closed behind him. "Did I miss anything while I was gone?"

"Not really," Abrams shrugged, "Colonel Sheppard was only kidnapped once, which is pretty surprising."

"Nothing too serious?" Lorne hummed in response. Knowing how often John and his team got into trouble, the Major was amazed that something colossal - like an invasion - hadn't occurred while he was was back in the Milky Way galaxy.

"He was gone for about a day before we got to him… but we gained a new ally from the whole incident. I'll make sure the report is on your desk so you can read it yourself."

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

As they reached the base of the main stairway, Sam greeted them. "Welcome back, Major. I trust you had a pleasant journey."

"Yes. Thank you, ma'am," Lorne professionally nodded in response before adding, "General O'Neill says hello."

Sam smiled, a sly look crossing her face. "Were those his exact words?" she playfully chided him.

"He might have mentioned a fishing trip in there somewhere," Lorne smirked in return.

Shaking her head in exasperation, the Colonel asked, "How was your time with the Unas?"

"Very nice, ma'am. We now have their full backing in the fight against the Ori," Lorne reported.

"Really?" Sam raised her eyebrows, clearly not expecting the negotiations to go as well as they did. "That's wonderful!"

Lorne grinned. "It got a bit rocky in the middle, but everything worked out."

"I'd love to hear the full story sometime," Sam hummed, thoughtfully tapping her chin. Then shrugging she said, "Well, I know John will be happy to hear that you're back."

"Oh? He doesn't know I was scheduled to return today?"

"No, sir," Abrams answered. "Colonel Sheppard departed several hours ago through the 'gate with Sergeant Stackhouse and his team. He left before we got word that you'd be back."

"Lorne, why don't you go unpack before I debrief you about Atlantis operations and John's current mission," Sam offered.

Lorne nodded, anxious to learn about what he missed while he was gone. Readjusting his heavy duffle, he moved to depart from the 'gate room. But before he got more than three steps, the DHD alarm went off.

"UNSCHEDULED OFFWORLD ACTIVATION!"

Immediately dropping his pack, Lorne spun back to witness the Stargate light up and begin the dialing sequence. Abrams promptly gave Lorne his spare sidearm while he raised his own gun toward the 'gate. The security team also hefted their standard P-90s, fully prepared for whatever might come through the event horizon.

Behind him Lorne could hear Sam rush up the stairs to stand next to Chuck, giving orders all the way.

The shield shimmered to life just as the event horizon exploded outward. Lorne anxiously clicked the safety off the handgun.

"It's Stackhouse's IDC," Chuck reported.

"Lower the shield," Sam commanded.

Just as the shield dissolved, a team of Marines rushed through the Stargate carrying a stunned teammate between them. Moments later, Radek and Grace stumbled out of the event horizon. Radek didn't seem injured but he was supporting Grace, who was visibly bleeding from a cut on her forehead. Each scientist tightly clutched a handgun in their dominate shooting hand.

Teyla soon followed. P-90 raised and ready to fire, her breathy commands for everyone to stay behind her falling onto deaf ears.

"What happened?" Abrams ordered, stepping forward to assume the command position he had filled the past three weeks.

But before anyone could answer, an explosion echoed through the Stargate.

Sergeant Stackhouse came flying through the open wormhole. He awkwardly landed on his side before rolling to a stop in front of Lorne. "Sir?" he groaned, sluggishly blinking up at the Major.

But Lorne didn't answer. Instead he turned his gaze back to the Stargate just in time to witness the event horizon ripple dangerously and disengage.

The 'gate room erupted with activity.

Fear coiling in his gut, Lorne knelt next to the downed soldier. "Where's Sheppard?" Lorne dumbly asked, afraid to hear the answer.

"Sssstuck on the planet," Stackhouse slurred. "DHD… exploded."

A team of medics rushed forward to collect the stunned Marine and to aid the obviously concussed Sergeant. Grace dismissed the stretcher, stating that her head wound was simply superficial. She attempted to smile and wave when she caught Lorne's eye, but was quickly ushered away by Radek toward the infirmary.

Teyla also spotted the Major and quickly stalked over.

Sam appeared at Lorne's side. "Teyla, what happened?"

"The Wraith detected our presence on the planet and sent scouts to hunt us down," the Athosian explained. "We out ran several darts just to get to the 'gate. But we confronted six Wraith sentries before we were able to dial the DHD… they did not go down easily."

"And the others?" Sam asked Tayla, referring to Ronon, Rodney and John who had not come back with the rest of the team.

Still shocked by the sudden turn of events, Lorne answered for the Athosian. "Stackhouse said that the explosion we heard was the DHD…"

Teyla nodded. "Yes, several darts attempted to prevent us from leaving the planet. One must have hit the DHD, that is why the wormhole disengaged."

Sam pursed her lips together. "So the rest of your team is stuck on a hostile planet? With no way to dial back to Atlantis?"

"It would appear so," Teyla answered solemnly.

"I'll put a team together," Lorne anxiously stated. "We can take a Jumper through the 'gate so we can dial back when we find Sheppard and the others."

Sam nodded, agreeing with Lorne's plan. "You have an hour to get ready."

Wishing he could depart sooner, Lorne reluctantly accepted. After ordering Abrams to round up some soldiers, Teyla volunteered to join the rescue party. Lorne smiled softly at his friend. "Of course, Teyla," he said, fully understanding the panic and frustration she was experiencing for her teammates. Being helpless sucked.

It was no problem finding volunteers to go on the rescue mission. In less than fifteen minutes, Lorne had two teams put together - one led by him and another by Abrams. With time to spare, Lorne advised the soldiers to prepare for departure while he rushed to the infirmary to check on his friends. He instantly spotted Radek and Grace lounging on neighboring beds.

"Hey, how are you guys doing?" the Major asked, taking long strides before stopping at the foot of Grace's bed.

"I've been better," Grace grumbled, picking at her bandaged head absentmindedly.

Lorne furrowed his brow in concern. "What happened?" he asked, motioning to her injury.

"We were checking out this Ancient monastery or something and there was this tremor… not an earthquake or anything, but it came from within the mountain structure we were exploring," Grace explained. "I got a nasty cut from some falling debris. Stupid really," she grumbled.

"And the Wraith?"

This time Radek answered. "You know, I'm not sure. Ronon mentioned something about an energy pulse that the Wraith might have detected. No doubt the tremors were caused by something foolish Rodney did…"

"Or Sheppard," Lorne added, knowing full well that the Colonel's unnaturally strong ATA gene often caused him more trouble than it was worth.

Grace pursed her lips. "Yes, well, either way, the Wraith showed up with some darts and we had to make a run for the 'gate."

"I'm just glad neither of you were killed."

"We are fine, my friend," Radek calmly stated, smiling up at Lorne. "Now go get the others. We will be here when you return."

"Thanks guys. I'll see you soon."

When Lorne finally made it back to the locker rooms, Abrams informed him that Atlantis couldn't spare more than one Jumper for their mission. The others were all off-world, and it was protocol to keep at least four in the city at all times in case of attack. Lorne immediately radioed Sam to work out the problem. After some convincing, Sam allowed the teams to take a spare Puddle Jumper with them so they wouldn't have to cram all ten soldiers into one ship.

And so, fully loaded with extra clips, everyone boarded their respective Jumper and prepared for departure. As Chuck dialed the Stargate, Lorne instructed the two pilots to put up the cloaking device as soon as they made it to the planet to avoid detection. It was best to maintain an element of surprise when the Wraith were involved.

Just as the event horizon settled, Sam's voice crackled over Lorne's headset. "Bring them back, Major."

"Yes, ma'am."

And they were were gone.

 **~o~o~**

The planet was crawling with Wraith.

After exiting the Stargate, the Puddle Jumpers were promptly assaulted by several darts. Luckily, the cloaking devices never failed, and they were easily able to escape after taking down one the Wraith ships.

Once clear of any immediate danger, Lorne attempted to contact his missing teammates but all he got was static. Either their radios were damaged in the DHD explosion or something terrible had happened that made them unable to answer.

Hoping it was the former, Lorne instructed the pilots to find a clearing to land. Quickly devising a strategy, the Major ordered everyone to divide into four teams of two and split up to search the surrounding area. The two remaining pilots would stay cloaked and use their LSDs to scan the surrounding forest for John, Rodney, and Ronon.

"Take down some darts if you have to," he advised the pilots. "But don't take any unnecessary risks, you're our ticket out of here."

Everyone split into pairs and began to spread out. Lorne partnered with Teyla. They decided to head in the direction of the Ancient structure the Athosian had described.

After approximately ten minutes, one of the pilots radioed the Major, stating that a cluster of life-signs he detected was slowly disappearing.

" _Someone's killing off the other signals, sir._ "

Knowing it had to be one of their missing teammates, Lorne ordered everyone in the vicinity to converge on the cluster's location. With their P-90s level and their eyes sharp, Teyla and Lorne started to sprint toward the given coordinates. It was near the base of the mountain.

" _There's only two left, sir_ ," the pilot stated, his voice wavering with uncertainty. " _Should I do something?_ "

"No," Lorne snapped. "Stay cloaked and keep your eyes out for any foreign lifesi-"

But before he could finish, the mountain exploded.

Floored by the concussive blast, the two teammates tumbled to the ground. Ears ringing, Lorne groaned as his headset burst to life.

" _Is anyone hurt?_ "

" _What the fuck was that?_ "

" _Sir, are you alright?_ "

Lorne desperately tried to lower the volume on his earpiece when three Wraith suddenly erupted from the undergrowth.

"Teyla, look out!" he bellowed, lifting up his semi-automatic to open fire on the aliens. Two immediately crumpled to the ground, unable to heal from direct head shots. The last one grabbed the Major by the arm and hurled him toward a fallen tree. Lorne screamed as his previously injured shoulder was dislocated a second time.

Fighting the urge to vomit, the Major tried to catch his breath.

Meanwhile the remaining Wraith charged Teyla and grabbed her by the throat before she could react. The Athosian cried out in alarm. Her feet desperately flailed beneath her as the alien effortlessly lifted her off the ground.

Slowly breathing through the pain, Lorne hefted his P-90 with both arms and fired. Hot lead tore through the alien's lower limbs. Snarling, the Wraith crashed into the soft earth. Grunting with effort, Lorne rushed over and empties two more bullets in the alien's skull before it could get back up.

Turning back to his partner, he helped Teyla struggle to her feet. "Are you okay?" he asked weakly.

"Yes, I am fine," she calmly responded. "Allow me to reset your shoulder." And without warning, she grabbed his arm and twisted it back into its socket.

The Major let out a very undignified yelp before swallowing it down with another rush of vertigo. "Thanks," he rasped.

" _Sir! Sir, are you there?_ "

Wincing as the Jumper pilot's anxious voice erupted from his headset, Lorne responded. "What is it?"

" _There's only one life-sign left. And its not moving!_ "

Forgoing words, Teyla and Lorne jumped into action. The two sprinted toward the given coordinates; it was not more than a hundred yards from their current location. They finally reached a small clearing near the base of the mountain.

As they passed through the tree line, Lorne nearly tripped over a dead Wraith with a broken neck. Another alien was sprawled a few yards away, nothing more than a dried husk. Dismissing the dead Wraith, Lorne continued to look for his missing teammate. Stepping over the corpse, the Major spotted another body further in the clearing.

"John!" Teyla gasped.

The Colonel was fully sprawled on his back, unconscious. A small puddle of blood forming around his left hip. Teyla immediately rushed over and knelt by John's side. Resisting every urge to collapse next to Teyla, the Major dutifully stood guard while the Athosian attempted to wake her team leader.

"John! John, please wake up," she urged him, gently shaking one of his shoulders.

Still on full alert, Lorne open all channels on his headset, contacting all teams at once. "We found Colonel Sheppard," he informed them. "Any luck with the others?"

" _Not yet, sir_ ," Abrams answered. " _Any idea what that explosion was?_ "

"Not sure yet, Lieutenant," Lorne truthfully responded. In the background John began to stir. "I'll let you know once I find out," he mumbled, distracted by his commanding officer's uneven breathing. Clicking off his headset, he turned just in time to witness John's eyes flutter open.

"Oh God," he gasped, his hand curling around his bloody side. Rolling his eyes around, he finally noticed the Athosian kneeling next to him. "T-teyla," John wheezed.

"John, it's good to see you alive." Teyla smiled softly and grabbed her friend's bloodstained hand. "Can you stand?"

"Yeah, I think so," the Colonel nodded. Steading his arms behind him, he slowly dragged himself into a sitting position. He hissed as the injured side stretched and contracted, causing the laceration to bleed more. "Shit, that hurts."

"Allow me," Teyla said, motioning to the wound. She pulled fresh gauze from her pockets. As she carefully wrapped his side, she inquired, "How were you injured?"

"Some shrapnel from the DHD clipped me."

Teyla nodded before questioning, "Do you know where Rodney and Ronon are?"

John licked his chapped lips. "They went back into the mountain to blow the entrance so the Wraith couldn't get the Ancient technology," he slowly explained, his voice becoming stronger by the minute. "I was the lookout. They were supposed to meet me back here."

"Perhaps they got delayed," Teyla reassured him. "You know that Ronon can protect himself, and Rodney has become much better at hitting moving targets."

"Ronon has a twisted knee," John pointedly informed her. "If they ran into any real trouble I don't think they'd be able to handle it."

"Have faith, John," Teyla asserted.

Growing increasingly uncomfortable with their exposed location, Lorne announced, "We should get him back to the Jumper."

John whipped his head around, eyes widening when he finally noticed the Major's presence. "Lorne?" he breathed, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to rescue you, sir," he stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world - and it was. Then turning to address Teyla, the Major urged, "We can't stay here, it's too exposed."

Teyla nodded in agreement before looking back at the Colonel. "John, where is your weapon?"

John scanned the clearing. "Over there," he said, pointing off somewhere to his right. Lorne stalked over to in the direction indicated. Just as he was about to pick up the discarded P-90, he faltered. Another dead Wraith lay a few feet away, its head completely crushed beneath a large fallen tree trunk. Of all the dead aliens in the clearing, this seemed the most grotesque. Lorne marveled how hard John must have fought to keep these Wraith at bay with his bare hands - well, mostly with his bare hands - while injured and bleeding. It was truly remarkable that John was still breathing after been so severely outmatched.

Lorne subconsciously massaged his injured shoulder, trying to dispel the throbbing sensation that was slowly making his arm numb.

Backing away slowly, he returned to his teammates with the machine gun. "Let's get out of here."

"What about the others?" John inquired.

"I'll radio another team to circle back and wait for them," Lorne decided, not willing to let John out of his sight.

"Wait," John interrupted, still struggling to his feet with Teyla's assistance. "Rodney still has his earpiece, it was the only one not damaged by the initial blast."

The Major nodded. And tapped his headset on. "Lieutenant?"

" _Yes, sir,_ " Abrams responded after a moment of static.

"Colonel Sheppard says that McKay and Ronon are near the base of the mountain. Have all teams converge there and try to find them. Be advised that Ronon is injured and McKay may still have a working radio. Try to contact them." He continued, "Be careful, the Wraith were probably also drawn by the explosion McKey set off."

" _Of course, sir._ "

"Teyla and I will meet up with you after we get Shappard on a Jumper. Where's the closet clearing with no Wraith?"

" _Two clicks south of the mountain,_ " Abrams answered.

"Alright, we'll drop Sheppard off and then join the search."

" _Yes, sir. We'll keep you updated._ "

Lorne snapped off his ear piece. "Come on, let's go."

The trio hardly made it a few yards before they heard the unmistakable whine of a Wraith dart overhead. Barely escaping a culling beam, the three teammates stumbled into denser forest. The dart circled back as they ran further from the Ancient structure.

"We have a dart on our tail," Lorne snapped into his head set.

" _I'm on it, sir,_ " one of the pilots responded. " _Where's your current location?_ "

The Major didn't have time to respond before a pair of Wraith dropped down from the trees above them. Agilely landing on their feet, the two aliens fired their stunners at Teyla and John. A red beam grazed John, sending him tumbling to the ground. His P-90 fell out of his limp grip.

Teyla was able to dodge the stun beam and responded with a vicious roundhouse kick, striking one of the Wraith in the neck. It gagged and dropped its weapon. While it was still dazed, the Athosian warrior withdrew her hunting knife from its sheath and plunged it into the Wraith's chest. It weakly gurgled, choking on its own blood. Teyla easily pulled the knife out before stabbing the Wraith a second time, effectively killing it.

As Lorne rushed to John's prone form, he opened fire on the second Wraith. The alien's torso jerked violently as each bullet hit its intended target. After the clip was finally spent, the Wraith didn't even twitch.

Teyla straightened, cleaned her knife on the leather jacket of the dead Wraith, and asked, "Is John alright?"

The Major knelt next to the prostrate body, anxiously placing his fingers on John's exposed neck. He felt a steady pulse. "He's unconscious," Lorne informed her.

In the distance the distinctive sound of Wraith stunners hummed. The pair whipped around to spy several more Wraith sprinting towards them.

Teyla immediately clipped John's discarded machine gun to her TAC vest. "I will try to hold them off," she announced, hefting her own P-90 into the crook of her arm. "You get John out of here."

Lorne gaped at her. "Teyla-"

"No," she interrupted him. "I cannot carry John by myself. You must get him to safety."

"But-"

"Just go," she snapped.

Complying with her wish, Lorne scooped John into a fireman's carry and took off in the direction of the clearing. After several seconds, the Major could hear the sound of automatic machine gun fire. Trying to suppress the guilt he felt for leaving Teyla behind, Lorne focused on his breathing. In and out. In and out.

After several minutes, Lorne stopped to listen. Pausing by a large tree, he heard the distinctive rustle of feet headed in his direction. But as the sound of the footsteps grew closer, but they were joined by more. Not Teyla then, definitely Wraith. Huffing, he repositioned John's limp body on his aching shoulder. He didn't know if he could make it to the clearing by himself. He didn't even know how far away it was.

Perhaps he could find a place to rest and call for back-up. The denser forest could offer them protection, he reasoned.

Groaning under the weight of his commanding officer, Lorne took off again.

The sound of his pursuers echoed behind him.

 **~o~o~**

 _ **A/N:**_ **Sorry to leave it at such a cliffhanger, I can't help myself. We are nearing the end of this epic tale so I want you hanging onto every scene as if your life depended on it - or at least as if John and Lorne's life depended on it… Anyway, Chapter 16 is definitely going to be an emotional rollercoaster so stay tuned!**

 **Expect the next chapter in the next week or so. Until then, please leave a review and let me know what you think. XOXO**


	16. Chapter 16

**Title: Lost Among The Stars**

 _ **Summary:**_ When Major Evan Lorne is attacked on a mission off-world, a series of events is put into motion that reveals the very secret John Sheppard had worked so hard to keep hidden. Eventual Sheppard/Lorne. Spoilers for "Coup d'etat" and "Doppleganger".

 _ **A/N:**_ **Another new chapter, as promised. Definitely one of my favorites so far. I don't have many comments so I'll keep them until the end and just let you guys start reading. Enjoy!**

 _ **Characters:**_ Evan Lorne, John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Ronon, Teyla, Elizabeth Weir, Sam Carter, Radek Zelenka, Jennifer Keller, and other minor characters and OCs.

 _Disclaimer:_ **surprise, surprise, still not mine.**

 _Warning:_ **mentions of non-consensual rape.**

 **~o~o~**

John opened his eyes to find himself staring at what he strongly suspected was Lorne's ass.

It looked like Lorne's ass - well his pants anyway - though it was thoroughly impossible for John to tell because he had never had the occasion to examine Lorne's ass upside down nor from this rather impressively close range. How he arrived at this angle and this range, he was not entirely sure. Not that he was complaining.

"Um, have I missed something?"

"Hang on," he heard Lorne say from somewhere above him, "we have a bit of a situation here."

The Colonel suddenly registered that he was actually hanging from Lorne's shoulders. Behind him he could hear the distinctive rustle of underbrush. They were being followed, he realized.

Without warning, Lorne lifted John from his shoulders and laid him on the ground. With his head resting on a small patch of moss, John immediately became aware of the pins and needles sensation that ran up and down his spine, poking him in a most uncomfortable way. All too familiar with the feeling, he instantly knew he had been stunned.

Just then, John heard the telltale buzz of Wraith weapons.

Lorne shifted, adjusting the grip on his P-90. With a burst of fire, the Major emptied his clip into the surrounding trees. After a moment or two of silence he heard a thud off to their right. Lorne stalked forward with purpose, out of John's view. After a moment, four quick, successive shots echoed. The Colonel waited, holding his breath until his second in command came back through the tree line.

With a sigh, Lorne walked over and knelt next to John. "How are you feeling, sir?"

"Like I got stunned," he deadpanned.

Slamming another clip into his weapon, Lorne rolled his eyes. "You were grazed," he sniffed, "barely out for fifteen minutes." Glancing up, he noted the Colonel's pale complexion. "Anything else? How's your side?"

John traced the bandages wrapped around his lower abdomen. The wound throbbed. John could feel the heat pulsating from it with his tingling fingers. Definitely infected, he thought. "I've been better," he shrugged.

"Right," the Major drawled, skepticism practically oozing from his voice. "Think you can walk?"

"Yeah," John grunted.

The Major nodded. "The area is too heavily patrolled… I can't get you to the clearing by myself," he reported, "We're going to have to find a spot we can defend until backup arrives."

John's brow furrowed, only just noticing that their number had dropped down to two. "Where's Teyla?" he asked.

Guilt flashed across Lorne's face before he could hide it. "We were ambushed. She stayed behind to give me more time to get you out," he honestly responded. "I haven't heard back from her yet," he said, indicating his headset. "But Abrams informed me that he picked up Ronon and McKay a few minutes ago."

John sighed, "That's good news, at least."

"The team is going to rendezvous with the Jumper before they come get us."

"That's fine," John nodded. "Give me a hand, will you?" he asked, not fully able to stand up on his own. Lorne immediately put a sturdy hand on John's shoulder while gripping his waist. Bending down, the Major hauled his commanding officer off the ground. Shifting his grip, Lorne threw John's arm over his shoulder, taking a majority of his weight. The Colonel could feel Lorne breath on his exposed neck. It tickled, like the faint kiss of butterfly wings.

A flash of heat traveled down his body, leaving him slightly weak in the knees. "Thanks," he gulped, not quite sure if he was suffering from the fever of his infected wound or the embarrassment of his inability to compose himself when Lorne was so close.

He supposed it was both.

"There's a patch of dense shrubbery on that hill over there," the Major nodded toward a cluster of bushes not far away, "We can hide there."

While John wouldn't exactly call it a hill - more like a mound of dirt and stone - it was a fairly good location to defend; the dense undergrowth would keep them hidden while the mound would prevent them being attacked from all sides. Agreeing on the plan, the two soldiers hobbled over to the bushes as quickly as their bodies would allow.

After Lorne deposited John on the soft earth again he doubled back to cover their tracks. Even if the enemy found the dead Wraith the Major had just killed, they wouldn't be able to track them. But just to be safe, Lorne laid a false trail heading away from the direction of their hiding spot.

When the Major returned, he found John slumped against the hill, giving him the illusion that he was just casually sitting on the ground. But no matter how well John pretended to be relaxed, Lorne could tell that he wasn't faring very well with his injury; no matter what the Colonel said otherwise.

Ignoring the concerned look Lorne was giving him, John inquired about Teyla. "Have you heard back from her yet?" he asked, wiping sweat off his brow.

Lorne crouched next to his commanding officer. "Not yet…" he responded. However, noting John's expression, he added, "But I'll check," deciding that now was as good a time as any to find out. Lorne turned on his ear piece. "This is Lorne. What's your ETA?"

Abrams immediately answered. " _We just reached the Jumper, sir. It might take a few minutes before we can head in your direction._ "

"Any news from Teyla?"

" _She with us, sir. The Wraith broke her headset, but we found her. Everyone is accounted for… except for you and Colonel Sheppard, that is._ "

Lorne nodded. "Okay, good. Sheppard and I have dug in just one click northeast of the clearing. We have several patrols on our tails." The Major eyed the pale Colonel next to him. "We can't move without exposing ourselves, and we are in no position to fight back against multiple un-friendlies."

" _Understood, sir,_ " Abrams responded. " _ETA is ten minutes._ "

After dismissing his Lieutenant, Lorne turned off his ear piece. "Abrams has Teyla," he reported. "Back-up will be arriving soon."

The injured Colonel simply nodded. Lorne watched as John's hand trembled slightly as it weakly touched the red bandages covering his side. His wound had started to bleed again.

"Are you okay, sir?" the Major stupidly inquired, knowing full well he would not like the answer, truthful or not.

"I'm-" John paused to lick his chapped lips. "I'm fine, Lorne. Just focus on the Wraith." When the Major hesitated, John snapped, "That's an order!"

"Yes, sir," Lorne automatically replied and, repositioning his grip on the P-90, turned his focus toward the surrounding forest.

With Lorne's back to him, John limply slumped onto the hill. He was weak. His side was on fire. He couldn't focus. His head throbbed. He felt too hot. His breathing was irregular. He couldn't feel his extremities. His vision was blurred.

He was in shock. Or maybe not, John wasn't too sure. The blood loss was making it hard to think.

John's attention waned as the minutes slipped by; he felt himself becoming more and more sleepy.

He felt like death. He could feel it - the inevitable crushing darkness. He didn't want to die. There was so much he wanted to do. So much he wanted to say. He had so many reasons to live, and just as many regrets. But his biggest regret…

John weakly shook his head. No, the Colonel reasoned, he shouldn't think like that.

The movement send a wave a nausea up and down John's body. He blanched, his forehead immediately becoming slick with sweat. Black spots entered his vision. He blinked rapidly, trying to focus on his surroundings.

His biggest regret would always be…

"I love you," John gasped. His body stuttered under the weight of his confession, not fully believing he had actually vocalized what he had keep hidden for months and months.

Lorne kept his gaze on the surrounding trees, his shoulders relaxed - and for a moment John thought the Major hadn't heard him. But after a beat, Lorne quietly replied.

"I know."

"You know?" John blinked, not quite comprehending what he heard.

"Yeah, I've known for sometime now."

"Oh," John breathed, sinking back into the mound that supported his battered and bleeding body. He waited, but Lorne did not elaborate.

John tried to maintain consciousness while his mind raced. His overactive imagination went over every event - everything he ever said or did - that could have alerted Lorne about his feelings for the man. He was mortified that Lorne knew; he wished the Major would just leave and let him die in shame.

While his commanding officer wallowed in depressive self-reflection, Lorne was struggling with his own reaction to John's confession. He never really thought that the Colonel would admit his feelings. But he did. And now Lorne could not avoid his own feelings any longer.

Abandoning his post, Lorne crawled over to John and crouched in front of him. His commanding officer's eyes were closed. His face deathly pale. His hands wrapped themselves around his still bleeding wound. Lorne clipped his P-90 to the front of his TAC vest while placing his spare handgun on the ground within reach. Leaning forward, Lorne placed his hands over John's, mimicking an intimate embrace. He applied pressure, both to stave the blood and to gain the injured man's attention. Opening his eyes, John desperately stared at Lorne, silently begging him to leave him in peace.

"John," the Major said gently.

The Colonel slowly blinked back, clearly startled with the use of his first name.

Lorne took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"I love you, too."

"Wh- what?" John choked, almost believing he had already died and gone to some twisted version of heaven.

There was no turning back. "I love you, John," Lorne repeated. He leaned so close that the Colonel could clearly see the sincerity in his eyes.

"I- I don't understand," John stammered. "What about Richards?"

"I never really dated Grace," Lorne calmly explained. "I dated her brother, Malcolm. It was just convenient to pretend to be girlfriend/boyfriend. Besides, she's seeing McKay."

"Rodney!"

Lorne nodded, a smirk ghosting across his face.

"Wait… _brother_?"

The Major nodded a second time.

"Then you're…"

"I'm gay, John."

"I didn't… How could I? - I didn't know."

"I know," Lorne said again, his fingers moving to intertwine with John's. He tried to ignore the slick blood that stained their hands. Dread crept into his gut, making him briefly look away from the dying man and survey the dense forest. All was quiet. He shivered.

John broke him out if his revery. "How did you know?"

Turning back, Lorne smiled weakly. "I overheard what that crystal monster said to you in your nightmare… that you loved me. The rest kind of fell into place," he shyly admitted.

"That was months ago!"

The Major simply shrugged.

"If you knew, and clearly felt the same way…" John quietly said, more to himself then the soldier before him. "Then why aren't we together?"

"It's complicated," Lorne defended.

"So un-complicate it."

The Major sighed, leaning forward to rest his forehead on John's brow. "It's not so simple."

"But it could be," John whispered in response, eyes wide and pleading.

Unwilling to answer, Lorne forwent words. After a moment of hesitation, he surged forward and kissed the Colonel. Their lips met and Lorne was finally able to convey all his feelings into one intimate gesture.

Love. Fear. Acceptance.

Lorne eventually pulled out of the kiss and smiled happily.

John collapsed back onto the hill, watching his second in command though lidded eyes, a ghost of a smile also gracing his colorless features.

"John, I-"

 _Crack_.

The familiar sound of a gunshot caused the two soldiers to jump apart. Lorne scrambled to level his P-90 at the surrounding shrubbery. At the same time, John picked up Lorne's discarded sidearm. He drew himself behind the Major's body, seeking protection while watching his back.

"Stay there, sir," Lorne ordered, slowly creeping forward.

He was on high alert, completely aware of any possible threat that could be lurking in the trees. Peering past the dense bushes where he was originally posted, the Major only saw the dark forest that lay beyond. He could see no movement or hear any sound that could indicate where the shot came from… Or who shot it.

After several moments of silence, Lorne looked back over his shoulder. John remained propped against the mound, unmoving. "Sir?" he whispered harshly.

No response.

"Sir!"

The wounded man still did not budge.

"John!"

Just as Lorne was about to rush back to the Colonel's side, a rustling in the bushes caused him to spin around and click the safety off his semi-automatic weapon. Cursing to himself, Lorne knew had carelessly given away their position.

Thinking he could draw fire away from John until backup could arrive, Lorne stood up and moved out of the dense shrubbery. "Who's there?" he called out, "Identify yourself!"

After several tense seconds a very human voice responded; "Major Lorne?"

"Lieutenant," Lorne sighed, shoulders relaxing as his second in command and another Marine entered the small clearing. "It's about time you got here."

"I came as fast as we could," Abrams responded, shouldering his P-90. Then gesturing to his companion he said, "I had to find a medic."

"Where's Colonel Sheppard?" the Marine questioned, pulling out a medical kit from his backpack.

Immediately putting on his professional, emotionless mask Lorne motioned to the bushes he just exited. "Over here. He was conscious and talking until just a minute ago, must have finally passed out from all the blood loss."

Abrams stood guard as the Marine medic and Lorne examined John's motionless form.

"He's suffering from severe hypovolemia," the soldier stated, examining the injury on John's side. Then noticing the red streaks extending from the bleeding laceration and the small amount of pus leaking from the wound, he grimaced. "It's already infected. We need to get Colonel Sheppard back to Atlantis immediately."

Lorne nodded solemnly, knowing it was worse than John originally admitted.

"The LSD doesn't show any more signs of Waith in the area, but there is no guarantee how long that will last," Abrams reported. "We need to get moving, sir."

"Alright, Lieutenant, lead the way."

The Marine quickly put away his medical kit and went to grab John's bloodied hands. Seeing what he meant to do, Lorne stopped him. "I'll carry Sheppard," he snapped, suddenly feeling overprotective of John, unwilling to let another man hold him. "You and Abrams lead the way to the Jumper."

"Yes, sir," the soldier responded, hefting his P90 back into the crook of his arm.

As the two stood guard, Lorne removed his side arm from John's loose grip and replaced it in his leg holster. Then, gripping both of the man's wrists in his hand, he lifted John back into the fireman's carry he had been using not a half hour ago. Once confident that he was not going to drop John, he took up his semi-automatic and turned back to the other soldiers waiting for him.

"This way, sir," Abrams said, motioning his head back toward the way they came.

Guns raised, the three moved quickly through the dense forest. The reading on the LSD held true, the group dd not run into a single Wraith during their trek. And even though his shoulder began to pain him again, Lore refused to give up John to either of his companions. He felt as if it was his personal responsibility to get John back to Atlantis. He owed the man that much. And so, almost fifteen minutes later, they finally arrived at the clearing which held the Puddle Jumpers and the rest of their group.

Seeing their commanding officers enter the clearing, the pilots began to fire up the engines. With Lorne's permission Abrams climbed into the first shuttle. Noting that the Jumper was already full, Lorne and the Marine medic entered the second Jumper only to be immediately confronted by an anxious Rodney.

"Oh my God," the balding scientist cried, "Is he dead? Please don't tell me we went through all this trouble just to save a corpse…"

"Shut up, McKay," Ronon growled. "He's not dead, right Lorne?"

The Major ignored John's two teammates and gently deposited the still unconscious Colonel on a vacant bench. Teyla suddenly appeared beside him with a handful of bandages and pain medication. Allowing her and the medic to take over, Lorne went up to the cockpit and ordered, "Prepare for immediate departure."

"Yes, sir," the pilot responded. Hitting several controls the back ramp retracted and the door closed. With a whirred of Ancient equipment, the Jumper began to take off. "We'll be at the 'gate in two minutes."

Lorne nodded. "Camouflage the ship. We don't want to have any more trouble getting off this fucking planet." And, not waiting to hear the pilot's answer, the Major moved back into the Jumper's rear compartment.

Finally having the chance to gaze around the ship's occupants it seemed that they all looked like Lorne felt. Ronon sat on the far bench with a large bandage wrapped around his entire ankle. He fingered his alien blaster as he frowned at the panicking scientist who anxiously paced around the open space. Rodney's hair, or what was left of it, was in a completely disheveled state. And given the nature of his complaints, Lorne was sure that Rodney was injured - though he blushed a deep red whenever anyone asked where. Teyla sported several bruises along both her bare arms and seemed to be favoring two broken fingers, but that didn't stop her from helping the Marine take care of her friend.

John looked impossibly pale. His condition had severely worsened during their trek back to the Jumpers. His eyes were bruised and sunken into his face. John's chest stuttered with each breath, and his lips slowly turning blue.

Lorne tried to keep a professional face, but he knew he was losing the battle. John's side had stopped bleeding, but Lorne was positive that simply meant he barely had any blood left to bleed. Taking a deep breath to center himself, he shuffled forward anxiously.

"How long has he been unconscious?" Teyla asked Lorne once she noticed that he had returned from the cockpit.

"No more than twenty minutes," he replied, kneeling beside her.

Teyla hummed and continued to apply her ministrations to bloodied wound. But as she reached for more gauze, Lorne grabbed her hand. "Thank you, Teyla," he whispered, afraid he talked any louder his voice might break. The Athosian blinked back up at him curiously. "If you didn't let us go ahead after we were ambushed I fear that we might not have made it to safety."

"Of course, my friend," Teyla smiled, giving his hand a comforting squeeze. "I know you have done the same."

"Nevertheless, thank you," Lorne returned her smile, eyes misting slightly, and released her hand. And, knowing if he stayed beside John any longer he might start crying, the Major stood and went over to sit beside Ronon.

"You okay?" the Satedan gruffly asked, noting that Lorne was gently massaging his shoulder.

"Huh, oh yeah, old injury," he lamely responded, blaming his now swelling shoulder on his duel with the Unas youngling the previous week. "Just hurts like a bitch," he confessed. "How's the ankle?"

"Fine," Ronon responded quickly. "It'll be good in a day or two."

"We're approaching the 'gate, sir," the pilot called from the cockpit. "There's two darts guarding it."

Frowning, Lorne rushed to the front of the Jumper and sat down in the co-pilot's chair. "I'll dial Atlantis, just get us out of here," he snapped, knowing that any delay would risk John. Then using his ATA gene, the Major began punching in the 'gate address as quickly as he could into the ship's DHD.

Taking control of the weapons system, the pilot sent two drones hurtling toward on the closest Wraith ship. It was a direct hit. The explosion rocked the Jumper but it did not impact it course toward the Stargate. The remaining dart flew around the falling, burning wreck and attempted a direct attack on the camouflaged Ancient vehicles.

Easily evading the enemy ship, the pilot fired two more drones. But, be it luck or skill, the Wraith ship avoided the attacked and spun toward the position where the shots were fired and sent its own energy torpedo back toward the invisible vessel.

Smoothly maneuvering the Jumper out the way, they continued toward the 'gate.

Looking out the bay window, Lorne watched the event horizon burst forth from the Stargate and settle into a calm pool of blue and white. He slide in his seat as another energy torpedo rocked the Jumper. Putting full confidence in the pilot, Lorne sent through his IDC and radioed ahead.

"Atlantis, this is Major Lorne. We have injured, get Doctor Keller ready for us on the other side."

" _Lorne, this is Carter_ ," Sam's voice responded. " _The shield is down. Medical is waiting for you._ "

"Copy that," Lorne replied as he watched the second Wraith dart explode to their right. But as the smoking wreck crashing into the dense forest beneath them, he saw three more darts appear on the horizon. "Be advised, we're coming in hot."

" _Understood, Major._ "

Turning to the pilot beside him, Lorne commanded, "Get us out of here!"

"Yes, sir."

Putting in another burst of speed, the Jumper skillfully flew into the rippling surface. Just as they entered the other side the pilot applied the brakes and immediate gained altitude, flying upward the Jumper bay. Beneath them, Lorne could hear the second Ancient ship exit the event horizon and the telltale whoosh of the Stargate closing behind them.

Letting out a breath he didn't realized he was holding, Lorne stood and rushed toward the rear compartment as they landed. Limbs shaking with adrenaline and worry, he slammed his fist on the back panel, opening the door and releasing the ramp. The medical team immediately rushed aboard. Directing them to John, the Major ordered, "Get Colonel Sheppard on a stretcher now. Medic," he addressed the Marine that assisted him back in the forest, "accompany them to the infirmary, inform Keller about his injuries."

"Yes, sir," the Marine responded. "But what about the others?"

Lorne looked over his shoulder at the Jumper's occupants; Ronon, Teyla, and Rodney stood quietly to the side, watching with varying looks of concern as John was whisked away. Knowing they would not argue with his decision he responded, "Colonel Sheppard is our priority."

The soldier nodded. "Yes, sir."

Watching the medical team leave with John, Lorne sighed. He was suddenly very tired. His shoulder burned and his heart ached. They were back on Atlantis and all he could do was hope that everything was going to be alright.

Everything _had_ to be alright.

 **~o~o~**

 _ **A/N:**_ **Hell yeah! John finally confessed! It's about time, I'm not sure he could have held in his 'little secret' much longer. But now that their feeling are out in the open, John and Lorne have no choice but to confront each other… That is, if John survives. (Of course he will, I'm not that evil. But the characters don't know that.)**

 **Sorry, it took me so long to post this chapter. I literally rewrote it four times because I wanted it to be perfect. Honestly I was a bit hesitant even posting it today but I know I was only holding myself back from writing the next chapter at this point.**

 **Please let me know what you think! Thanks!**


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